[Talon422]

It took me a day or two to get the will to type this out, I know it's very sloppy and somewhat confusing I just can't really help that right now.

Me and my girlfriend recently broke up 5 days ago after a from my point of view a amazing relationship, now before I get into the story she was basically my first everything from first kiss to first relationship etc... I was her first Serious Relationship I was 17 when I met her and she was also 17 now we are both 20 almost 21.

This was the girl I wanted to marry, to have kids with and grow old with.. and she wanted the same as well with me.

The relationship lasted 3 years, it was amazing over the years I loved her more then I thought was even possible, I would have put my life on the line for her. I have grown very attached to her family they loved me like a son, brother etc... they even called me brother and uncle we were that close, and my family thought of her the same way. We would go on family trips together do everything possible together, we even had our own place and lived together for over a year and a half, I kind of down right spoiled her with everything she could want everything she needed, I even bought her a car so she could go to work easier.


So about a week ago she told me that she was not happy living in the city anymore, we both came from a small town but moved to the city for work, so we talked about what we can do to fix this and I said we can both move back up to the country, and she said she does not want to she wanted to move back in with her family, cause she missed them and I said OK I will get my own place close by so we can still see each other, since her family lived pretty far 3 hour drive from where we were currently living, and when I said that she said no I don't want you to because I don't love you the same anymore and have not loved you the same for a very long time.

So she ends up leaving the day that this talk ended up taking place, she said to me that we will still be best friends and talk all the time.. so after a few days of her moving talking was going good, there was actually hope of getting back together. Then she hit me with a brick saying one of her friends ( that she used to do sexual stuff with ) and the guy tried to get her to cheat on me with him ( didn't end well for him ) was moving back to town Just Because he heard she moved back home, so I asked her straight up if she was going to be hanging around this guy again and she said yes.

So I ended up getting jealous and started bugging her about it to the point where she freaked out and me ( these are in her words ) I was not a good boyfriend, I didn't do anything for her, it's all my fault that the relationship ended, I never had consideration for anything, now since this she has been telling all my extremely Personal secrets to my family members because they all have her on Facebook,

But for some reason I can't get over her I still love her and want to be with her, even though she has said and done this stuff I have tried doing the NC but it is not helping one bit, I am starting to become very unstable, reckless, not caring if I live or die.

I don't know what to do, any advice would be helpful

[amicon]

Do you have friends and family to talk to?

Maybe you should consider therapy?

As for the ex-you need to go 100% no contact-you can't be friends with her-as you have to heal from the break up.

It's hard when a relationship breaks down-but you will get over it,with time.

[I wish]

It's too early in the break up. Time some time to reflect on what happen. After you've distance yourself from the break up, you will be able to see things more objectively and then you will be in a better position to decide what to do going forward. But until you put some space between you and the break up, you will continue to feel traumatized.

Give it time. Things will clear up eventually. But definitely keep some space from her, otherwise, you will continue to overanalyze everything she says and twisting everything into hoping that you can get back together, which generates a lot of false hope that will be unhealthy for you.

[talaniman]

It will take far longer than 5 days to get over someone. Misery and pain are the norm for getting dumped, and your life turned upside down after 3 years of high hopes, and good times.

I doubt the shock has even worn off yet. For now just take all the time you need to grieve, and mourn your loss, and get with some understand friend, or family for support.

The last thing you need is to isolate yourself, and be all alone with your thoughts. Let the tears roll when you have to. No shame in that.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is 5 days, take it one day at a time, and check back every few days

[jmw0713]

Here is some advice that helped me a while back. Since you live in the city, it should be easy to find things to do. Go out with your friends and stay busy with activities and social plans. This will serve as a minor distraction from your pain as well as put you around people who care about you and your well-being. Don't turn down any social invites for next few weeks, if possible. Also, get out and exercise. Exercise relieves stress and will make you feel better. Try to join a social club or two where you can meet other people that share similar interests with you. Maybe pick up a new hobby and get into that.

Just stay busy to keep your mind from over thinking things and melting down. It's going to be tough for a few months, but you will get better.