[desperatedad01]

Hi, I wonder if anyone can please help me with some advice. I have recently become a father for the first time and have been in a turbulent relationship with the mother for months now. She lives with her parents and does not seem to want to move out, although on the later side of her 20's. She already has a son who is nearly 7 years old and his father does have parental responsibility but does not have access to the child and has not been in his life consistently for 3 years now. I have been a constant in her sons life for over a year and all through the pregnancy of the baby, and was there supporting my partner, that I love. I love my baby more than anything in the world and would do anything to be a part of his life. My partner called me over to her house and explained that she had decided to not put me on the Child's birth certificate as the father, giving me some bizarre reasons, that I may one day try to fight for custody, if our relationship doesn't work out, and also that letting me be on it will give me rights and she wants "complete control" of her kids. I am heart broken that someone who I thought loved me is doing this to me and does not seem to understand how this is a major deal for me, that even accused me of being unreasonable over this and if I can't see her way then that's tough.

I was crying and literally begged her not too leave me out of this and give me the rights to be a part of my sons life. She would not listen to my plea so as a desperate last resort I went to the reg office, interrupted the meeting asking if I could have one last attempt to be involved. My partner came out and un emotively said that she was not interested and that she will have "control" over "her son".
The reg office staff confirmed that she is within her rights to do this as we are not married and do not live together. This was again one of her reasons she wouldn't give me the rights as we are not in a stable relationship, but I have tried to move out with her, found places and there is always something wrong with it, to far from her sons school, or not big enough. I have had verbal abuse from her mother, saying that she has been the father figure in her first sons upbringing and that I will not be good enough for him as a father figure when all I have done is include and try to build a bond. I have been told to leave there house before because I have been getting in the way, as I think her mother feels left out as last time she was actively involved. I now can not go ahead with my proposal plans for next month as I can't see how she can do this to me and be so hurtful by using my child against me if she loved me.
I am only aloud to see the child at her house and when she says so, I don't even know how the registry went and when I left crying she didn't seem to care how this had hurt me.

Can I get the right to get on the certificate and just be a dad to my child? I will pay my way; I already have been, by buying all the food, nappies, moses basket, bouncer, steraliser, bottles, teets etc. I have contacted CSA to file a case so I can pay my way, she has the right to refuse this though as she doesn't want me on the certificate as the father. I can't help but feel she is punishing me for her previous relationship and that she said, with her last sons father, "I made a mistake putting him on the certificate, one Im not making that mistake again".
I have been loyal, loving and always been there from day one of the pregnancy, and am being pushed away and now removed from that special moment, I don't even think he has my surname. I miss my son already and want to be actively involved in decisions and the day to day upbringing.
Can anyone give some advice please?

[cdad]

What country are you in so we can help you by referencing local laws ?

[ScottGem]

First ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

Second, while she may be within her rights to leave you off the birth certificate, she cannot legally prevent you from getting your paternal rights. You will have to go to court to get those rights, but if a paternity test proves your biological connection and she can't prove you are a danger to the child, then you will be given, at the least, joint legal custody with visitation rights. Whether she has complete control or not is up to the courts, not her.

[desperatedad01]

Thank you for your response, I am in the UK.

[desperatedad01]

The Uk

[ScottGem]

Unless you are the registered father you have no rights. You need to consult a solicitor immediately about enforcing your rights.