[dreindl]

Hey guys I really need help on this one. My girlfriend of 1.5 years just recently broke up with me and I know that she still loves me and I made some mistakes the past 6 months by ignoring her and paying more attention to sports and realize I screwed up huge and I still love her but I am almost positive that she still loves me but I wasn't ready to get serious and now I am and I am pretty sure she broke up with me for that reason. She is leaving for ireland in 1 week for an internship. She has always been a dreamer and told me if we ever broke up she would want me to fight for her. I am contemplating surprising her in ireland but don't know if it is the right move. I have truly changed and think she is The One. She is a hopeless romantic and very adventurous and spontaneous. Any input at all would really really help me out. If I asked her six months ago to marry me she would have and I think my indecisiveness about our future drove her away. How can I show her I have changed?

[tmtrotminor]

I'd be buying a ticket, a ring and some flowers if I were you.. But that's just me..

[Cat1864]

Hold your horses and plane tickets.

You just got dumped and suddenly you find that you want her. That happens a lot in romances and movies. The next thing that happens is the 'hero' of the story begs his ex to give him another chance while vowing that he has changed his ways. She takes him back and six months later (sometimes longer, sometimes shorter) he is doing what he did before that caused her to break up with him.

I would hope that your ex would be smarter than some and would wait to take you back until after the emotional dust storm of the break up has settled and you are showing that you truly do want the same things that she does. Words and impulsive actions would not prove anything other than you are afraid of being alone. Showing her and yourself that change is what you want takes time.

She is going on an internship not moving permanently to Ireland. How long is she supposed to be gone? Have you thought about the reality of being in a relationship with her at this point in your lives? Can you contemplate being in a long distance relationship with her?

If a grand gesture would get her to take you back, then you shouldn't be with her. She gets frustrated and walks this time. You go charging off after her to get her back. What do you do the next time she gets upset and walks? How many times do you attempt to top your last 'grand gesture' before it isn't enough or you wise up to the manipulation?

If the two of you have not communicated effectively up to this point, I don't see that changing over night just because you got dumped and 'saw the error of your ways.' Let her have her space and take this time to make certain you aren't reacting out of panic or pride. Both of you need to heal and be ready to let the past go before there is any talk of getting back together.

[DearParma]

How old are you? Internship connotates college age.

Don't rush into anything. Listen to CAT1864.

Give yourself time to see how you feel and maybe you both need this time off to see if it's meant to be. Because if it is, you guys will be end up together after all. If you both want the relationship to work badly enough, with mutual respect and dedication and love, then it will work out. Let the cards fall where they may.

Romantic gestures (short of hopping on a plane) will be appreciated by her. Express your feelings and hope that she wants to give you another chance. Take your time and figure out what you really want without giving yourself a deadline of when she leaves for the internship.