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    margie4697's Avatar
    margie4697 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 31, 2011, 05:26 PM
    My grown daughter excludes me from her life.
    I am a 63 year old grandmother of two grown grand girls. I was always very close to them. My daughter(their mother) has always had issues with me. I listen to her complaints and try to change but then the complaints change. My oldest grandchild is having her first baby. I was looking forward to being a great grandmother. I doubt I will be given a chance.
    We will get a long for awhile and then the smallest thing will upset her and she withdraws for a long time and cuts me out of her life.
    She has hurt me and manipulated me so much that I cannot feel any love for her anymore. Myheart is literally breaking in two.
    This really isn't a pity party. The girls are grown now and able to have a relationship with me if they want. I am tired of just being tolerated. Why can't I have a little pride and just move on?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 1, 2011, 08:53 AM

    I think all of us parents with grand kids share your feelings, but they have lives to deal with, and can't spend the time we like with us involved. For whatever reason you don't spend time with the grand kids, or children, they way you want, balance it with the understanding they are young and can barely handle their own business, and have different priorities and things on their mind. That may change in the future, but for now just know what they are going through, having been there, done that.

    This is your time to be built around you and what you want now for yourself since you probably sacrificed a whole lot raising them. Do your thing, and enjoy it, that's what the wife and I do, after we rested from all the work we did raising kids and grand kids. We started doing what we were not able to do before, and enjoying our freedom, as we are just starting to get use to the idea that they have their own thing to do without us.

    And you better have your fun while you can, because they will be back, rest assured, they just have not gotten to that point yet. Let them miss you. That's not a bad thing. Have your own great time without them, while you can. That's what we are doing.

    Feels good not to play mom, dad, and have no responsibility except to ourselves.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
    Business Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 2, 2011, 06:41 PM

    Good advice and wise words Tal.

    Stringer

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