[KOconrado]

Here is my story guys. When I was working at a retail store in 2008, I saw this intriguing female worker there. I was immmediaely drawn to her. I started talking to her soon after. She was a shy girl, beautiful, but didn't have many friends. She was also from a different country, so her point of view was a lot different that american women. I liked her.

It took a while of calling her and being playful and stuff for her to go out with me. At first everything was great. We went to a movies and enjoyed a cab ride, and walked all the way back to her house. The kiss I got from her at the end of the date just blew me ayay. At first I would say I was in lust, but as the relationship went on I really started to care about her a lot. We spent everyday with her for the next 6 months or so and enjoyed every minute. Then we started drifing apart. I think we spent too much time together. I think she wanted to do her own thing. Now I realized I demanded way too much from her. I was into sex too much and didn't respect her enough.

Thing is I was younger and more driven by the wrong motives. I found out one day she kissed another guy and I got into a drunken rage and walked down to her house and demanded the ring I gave to her at her high school graduation. I completely lost control of myself. I never though she would kiss another guy. She broke up with me in August 2009. We still worked at he same place until July 2010. I'm glad where we worked was big enough where we hardly saw each other. It was so painful to see her completely ignore me. She treated me like I was a nobody to her and it made me feel like complete ****.

When she broke up with me she said I needed to change. During that time I was going through a hard time because my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. I was taking care of her with my sister on hospice care until she died in May 2011. I was having to leave to work. I was stressing out so much back then because I was hurting from the breakup and my mom being sick. After we broke up she wanted to see a movie.

I had a chance to be with her again but when the day came to go with her I got scared that she would reject me again, that I didn't go. We haven't really been talking all that much since lately. I would call her once in a while, mostly when I was drunk because I had no inhibitions of calling her then. One day about a month ago, I had went with a buddy of mine to a bar and I had a little too much to drink, so when I got home I had sent her a message on Facebook.

The next day she sends me a friend request on Facebook. We started chatting on Facebook chat the next morning and I really enjoyed that. So lately she has been looking for a job and I have helped her with her resume. We met up last week for the first time in two years. It was hard just trying to hold my feeling for her inside, but I was just talking to her, nothing more.

Anyway I'm in a limbo on what to do with her right now. Just now she sent me a text saying she wants to go hiking and I want to do that. What do you guys think? Sorry this is long.

[Alty]

Go hiking, be her friend, see where it leads.

Don't try to move things along on a romantic track too fast. The best relationships start as a friendship.

Be yourself, have fun being with her, see where it leads. :)

[amicon]

One step at the time-see if you can become friends and then take it from there.

Don't rush things.

[Devorameira]

All you can do it work into it slowly! Don't drink so much either, as the alcohol starts talking and can ruin a relationship really quickly.

[BMI]

Rarely, do I ever think these ex-girlfriend things will work. However, this story is different. I think she is perhaps trying to determine whether you have changed and wants to move forward as friends to see if you have changed and whether there is a spark.

I gave my friend upstairs^ a greenie because this use of alcohol seems to be quite frequent. I don't metion it because of a potential drinking problem (don't know enough) but rather a problem as related to this specific situation. Consider your past behaviour, a lot of mistakes that you made which drove her off in the first place were alcohol related.

Just remember she is most likely probing you and examining whether a change has taken place. If she spotted too much drink before I doubt she'll appreciate it months later. Just keep note of that and keep the drinking down or at least abstain from drinking/being drunk/acting drunk around her.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

[talaniman]

I think you get over your fear, and take the opportunity to have some fun with her and, act like a mature man who doesn't act like a zip damn fool when he drinks. Go slow, and show your good side, and see what happens.

Like BMI said, rarely are we given a second chance, so don't blow it this time. Take your time and have fun, and let it flow naturally.

[KOconrado]

Thank you all for your advice. I appreciate it. I don't drink that often, but when I do drink, I drink a lot and that's when I call her. Im going to cut that out as she told me not to call her when I've been drinking. I'm willing to just be friends if that all she wants from me, so I'm going to just take it day by day, and try to become a better person.

[KOconrado]

Well after spending time with her again, I realized that we can only be friends. It's weird to feel nothing from the person who used to tell you that they loved you ;(

[amicon]

That,sadly,is how life can be.

If you can't handle the friendship it's best to have no contact and get over the past.