[Taylor369]

This is my first time using this site, which I have turned to because of the fact that most other sites require short questions with not a lot of details. I am turning here for answers, for ways and help to get away from the pain, or to find a solution.

I am an 18 year old guy, who has a loving girlfriend, many friends, and a stable life in which I thank God for. But one thing has been bugging me, one thing has always troubled me no matter how long or hard I have tried to ignore it.

When I was 14 years old I had got dumped by my first real "love". I was going through a lot of pain and I met this girl Lexi at my friends school. Lexi lived about 2 miles from me and went to school there. She was one of the sweetest and most beautiful girls I've met in my life, and she became a friend who really got me through a tough time in my life. She promised to be my sister for the rest of my life and told me she never breaks promises. After about a year Lexi had gotten a boyfriend who was very controlling and became very distant. She stopped seeing me and barely would txt me for the next 7 months, while I would constantly try to invite her to spend time with me. Once she broke up with her boyfriend and realized I befriended him, she was confused and hurt and according to her I hurt her by being friends with him. No matter how many times I said sorry, even though I felt I had nothing to say sorry about because she was the one who was ignoring me, she wouldn't forgive me.

I was really hurt, and tried for a year to get her to be my friend again. I was so hurt! Friendship is something that I hold very close in my life and I hate losing close friends. But after 2 years, I was tired of her neglect of me, and she eventually made it very clear by ignoring me that she wanted nothing to do with me. I decided to move on with my life, and forget about her as a friend. I remained friends with her ex-boyfriend who missed her also. We spent a lot of time together talking about how we miss this girl. Eventually even her ex and I stopped talking.

About 2 years had gone by since I had seen Lexi. So many things in my life had changed and I had many different relationships and friends, but I could never forget her. I asked for advice from many friends and many people, and tried my hardest to take their good advice and just forget about her. That's what everyone told me, "Just let it go." "You'll make more friends." Months would go by where I didn't think of her, but every now and then, I would again and it would hurt. Or I would here a song that reminded me of her and I would miss my sister. I tried for a year to forget her, and to make new friends to fill the void, but no one could.

Recently the feelings have gotten stronger. She was the only "sister" I've ever had. The last few weeks have been filled with memories and I even tried texting her and sending her a long message over Facebook. She never responded to any of them. I eventually started talking to her ex again, and he said he made friends with her again and that she told him she was planning to come to my house and apologize to me. Unfortunately weeks and weeks have passed and that hasn't happened. At first I was excited to hear, but eventually I started to doubt, and to believe that if she hadn't come to say sorry in these 3 years- what would make her do it now.

I am deeply in love with my girlfriend and I have a good circle of friends who are good to me. But at the end of the day there is always one thing missing no matter how many years I try to forget about it and no matter how many times I got rid of every memory of her. Something always finds its way back, a song on the radio, an inside joke, something is always reminding me. Something's always popping up, I sometimes feel like God is telling me to keep trying, and I want to keep trying. All I want is the pain to stop, but it doesn't matter how long I try to forget, it never goes away. I feel like the only way to make it stop is to get her be my friend again. I've done a lot of waiting, a lot of thinking, considering, moving on, trying, and crying. All I want is my sister back, and all I want is her to miss me too.

[JudyKayTee]

You can't make anyone do anything because you think it's a good idea or the way to behave - you cannot make your "sister" come back and/or miss you.

I think you are obsessing over this person, and I don't know why. People make a LOT of well-intended promises in life, some of which become impossible to keep for one reason or another. In any event I don't think any 14-year old can be held responsible for a promise he/she makes. People get married and promise to stay together forever. They mean it. Things go sour and the marriage ends. That's how life works.

You seem to have a strong faith. Talk to a clergy person. See if the clergy person thinks you are obsessing.

You could also speak to a mental health professional about this.