[trafreeman]

My mother has always seemed to dislike me. I am her only girl child but she makes me feel awful in front of everyone at family affirs like I am a problem when she actually do things to hurt my feeling or says things and when I cry or pout she say "there she goes again. I have 3 brothers 2 who are older and 1 who is younger. The youngest has cancer and she put all of my brothers pictures up and claim she could not find one of me. That hurt so bad. I don't know how to handle it. What can I do to make the pain go away?

Only Sister and Alone

[sharper11]

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. It hurts when you feel abandoned by family. Take it from me though, you cannot change or fix your mother. My suggestion (a suggestion given to me by a therapist) realize that you can not fix the situation and try not to dwell on it.

The best thing you can do (and it seems as though you have to some extent) is talk to your mother. I doubt this will do any good (it didn't for me). But, I know that there is a love for me from my mother, even if it is small. And I love her, she's my mom. But that doesn't mean we have to have a great relationship, or talk on the phone or really be in each others life.

I've pulled back a great deal from my mom, but still stop by to say hi, or mow her lawn, but never pushing it too far with emotional involvement.

It's pretty tough to get through at first, but I have become quite content. I hope you can work it out. It wouldn't hurt sitting with a therapist to talk it over. It helps to have an outsider listen in.