Check out some similar questions!

Lylatov · May 10, 2011, 04:43 AM

I am 29 years old and he is 37 and have been together for 8 months. We are both professionals and make exactly the same money and have approximately the same amount of school loans. Since perhaps the first month, he has made it very clear that he has very little money and that we must split everything 50/50. For the most part, I have been OK with that and have always put in my share. So this question is twofold:

1. Is it inappropriate for me to expect him to treat me once in a while? I am not asking for extravagant dinners or expensive gifts. In fact, those are the times I completely understand the inability to pay and the need for an equal contribution. I am focusing more on the little things, a movie ticket - a bottle of soda - some gum. If he wants to go to a movie, I have to pay for my ticket and popcorn - and if not, then either (1) he goes without me or (2) we don't go at all.

2. Every time we do go out for dinners or movies, etc. (and I must stress again we pay 50/50 every time) - it always leads to a comment or complaint later that he spent too much money. It makes me feel as though he is unhappy even with the 50/50 relationship and that he would prefer we didn't go out at all so he doesn't feel compelled to spend any money at all.

I am beginning to think he may just be cheap but using the guise of "no money" as an excuse.

Any insight would be extremely helpful. Thank you everyone in advance for your time.

I wish · May 10, 2011, 06:42 AM

It's not unreasonable to have certain wants, so I don't think that you should feel like you're being unreasonable.

The problem is that he laid out some grounds rules and the question is, whether you can accept them. Who knows if he will ever change his mind about the rules, but is this really the type of guy you want to be with?

JudyKayTee · May 10, 2011, 07:49 AM

I'm hung up on "he has made it clear ..."

Does he make all the rules in your relationship? Don't you discuss things?

CFZD · May 10, 2011, 03:39 PM

I don't think he can find many girls like you that is okay to be always 50/50!
In my opinion, for him to treat you once in a while is more than reasonable. Have you talked to him about it?
Mayhe he doesn't know how you feel? He did make it clear but you can make it clear that now you want to be treated and have a boyfriend actually would like to treat you as a girlfriend.

ken007nielsen · May 11, 2011, 03:16 PM

His point of view: He's clearly worried about his financials being in order, I can relate to that.

But to never actually do anything out of the ordinairy and always complaining is rubbish!
I would suggest you to bring up this issue bothering you.

okinawafornow · May 12, 2011, 10:49 AM

I would say you need to think about what you really want, but the fact that you are asking this question kind of shows what you are looking for.

You want someone who does little things for you, takes care of you, makes you feel special. That is OK to feel that way.

I make really good money and it seems like I am the one who is always taking care of the men in my life, until I met the guy I am dating now. He makes less than me, but he still buys me dinner, he still buys me little things.

Don't get me wrong we have our problems. We have put on the boxing gloves a few times, in fact we are running into a problem with his ex right now! What keeps me around is the way he treats me that helps me realize that he loves me. The way he holds me, what he says to me, and the little things he does for me.

All of us deserve a guy like this, it is the best feeling in the world. Never expect it to be perfect, but you should never expect less at the same time.

Be High Maintenance.. it shows pride in yourself and it helps to ensure the men in your life respect you!

mmresd · May 12, 2011, 10:59 AM

You may want to try treating him a couple times, maybe then he might be more lenient at paying you back, AT LEAST. Also, there are several reasons he might be like that. Maybe a past experience showed him that treating a woman too often might spoil her and make her think that he will always cover for her, which is not right. Or maybe he is insecure and feels like you might be with him for his money (some guys do think like this) and therefore thinks twice before spending money on you. Or maybe he is just cheap, and doesn't feel like buying you anything because he likes to save him money for whatever reason. Regardless of what the reason is, I think you have a right to know, so sit him down and talk to him to figure things out. If he is not mature enough to have a conversation about something as meaning less as this, then maybe you should find someone who is more compatible with you.

Good Luck,
Javi

Cat1864 · May 12, 2011, 11:17 AM

Does he have any other expenses such as children, own his house, car insurance, etc. that would affect his income? Has he always been a 'professional' or has he had some setbacks that might cause him to be skittish where money is concerned?

What happens if you treat him to a 'special' date?

50/50 is one thing. If you both agree to it, great. The complaining no matter what is another. You need to talk to him and find out if it is being cheap or if he is grumbling about money because he doesn't want to admit that he is a 'homebody' and would prefer to stay home than go out.