[angelfan]

My stepdaughter is about to turn 11 years old, and she seems to be having some problems with her mother. She claims that she doesn't take care of her and that she never really has. She mentioned that her mother is always claiming that she is at work or at school, and on her days off she makes plans with her friends and boyfriend instead of making time for her daughter. Her mother is constantly yelling at my stepdaughter if me and my husband take care of everyday things for her, because she claims that these are her responsibility not ours. She has sometimes called me and yelled at me about buying her daughter shampoo/conditioner and tells me to stop trying to take her place. My stepdaughter explains that she told her about it a long time ago, and she didn't take care of it, so she told her dad. She is a petty person, and is constantly using this child as leverage. Her mother's house is a violent home also. Her grandparents are both heavy drinkers and are always fighting. When things get loud enough my stepdaughter's mom will join in the fighting to "shut them up”, but only makes things worst. My stepdaughter said that once it got so bad that she locked herself in the restroom and cried. She then shared that her mother almost knocked down the bathroom door and told her to get out, and to stop being so dramatic, and to "suck it up". Too late to make this story short, but all in all my stepdaughter has expressed to us that she wants to live with us forever, and not with her mom. What would be the easiest way to go about this, without it being too dramatic for the child? Any suggestions would be helpful.

[AK lawyer]

18 years of age, usually. Depends on the state.

A minor doesn't get to choose, in other words.