[Linnsey]

More like if their willing I don't think it works like that here id have to ask and I don't have money so I can afford to pay.

[Linnsey]

It doesn't ever feel like they listen they talk around me or through me no matter how hard I try and trust me I've tried hard to get someone to listen and if I want to survive life my husband has to work for the both of us so he can't be around all the time none of my siblings wouldn't listen I have no friends. I have taken about 4 different medications and they all made me feel the same droned out like there was nothing to live for.I have always had this image of myself helping to provide for my husband and myself the things we love it just doesn't seem that simple to me.

[SuziRider]

Your mind is racing much too fast and turning in on itself. Yikes!
You need to get your arse off this downward-spiraling merry-go-round. Soon.

The easiest way out of your ADD-inspired rut is to get involved in a sport of some sort where you run, bike, skate, tennis, soccer, swim, aerobics class, play, or something- anything- that keeps you fairly active for about 1 to 2 hours a day. Then you will be able to settle down without drugs. That probably seems like a lot of time, but start with walking 10+ minutes a day, adding 5 minutes every week, and a yoga class once or twice a week. It will also help you sleep better.

Take a daily multi-vitamin, B vitamins, and some Omega3 capsules. Get your body to settle down and heal. Take advantage of this time you have.

If you have a partner for your activities, whether it be a friend, neighbor, or your husband, you will be more likely to stick with it all. Borrow a neighbors dog for your walks once in awhile, giving them a surprise and a welcome break.

You can find local Special Interest and activity groups on Meetup.com if you need more or new friends.

Since you like hanging out with your cats, read ONE book a week, and soon you will become an interesting conversationalist where your husband will not get bored with you. You may also learn more about psychology, science, art, decorating, sex, animal communication, cooking, travel, history, and whatever else interests you. Is there a Library near you that you could walk to? It would give you a destination goal. Maybe you can volunteer there, too.
Also- NO TV besides shows like Discovery, OWN, History channel, or Dr. Oz. Put a stationary bike or treadmill in front of the TV.

Your past is your past, and you learned what not to do and how to survive.
Now Look down at your two feet, and start there. Next step you take is towards the rest of your life and how you want to live it.

Picture in your head what a perfect day a year from now would be like. Picture what your body would look like, what it would feel like. What activities would you do? Would you be in college, working, or volunteering somewhere? What would your relationship with your husband be like? Supportive and caring? What would you be doing to help him discover and reach his own goals?

If you start with the above 10 minutes a day thing and thinking about that perfect day, everything else will start falling in place. As your body heals, so will your mind.

[Time4Truth]

Are you on any medications for your depression and anxiety? I've dealt with the same issues since I was a teen. I still struggle but take my medications every day, when I have been off meds I go to a very dark place. You need to see a dr. and therapy might help you understand your conditions more and help you understand the reasons behind them. Smoking pot may be making your depression worse, from what I read you're saying you want to quit right? I have a family member who smoked pot for years to self-medicate his anxiety, when he tried to stop without being on any medications for his anxiety he had several VERY bad panic attacks. I think you need to first see a dr. and get on something for your depression and anxiety, if it's a dr. you trust you should be honest about smoking pot and wanting to quit, that will allow them to treat you properly. You need support from the people in your life to make these changes and get healthy. I know you feel alone (aside from your hubby) but talk to him and really think about the people you can go to for support, tell them what you are dealing with and ask them if they are willing to help you through this difficult time. If u truly have no-one besides your hubby then I strongly suggest therapy, a therapist along with your hubby will hopefully be able to give you the support and encouragement you need. It breaks my heart to read your letter because I have been there and when you are so deep and depression you can't see a way out but there is help out there, you just have to be strong and ask for the help you need. This was a big step for you I'm sure, you may find some of the support and encouragement you're needing here but no matter what, you need to see a dr. please, and as soon as you can. I wish you luck and look forward to hearing from u, hopefully starting on your road to recovery.

[talaniman]

I think getting off the weed will greatly help other areas of your life, for both you, and your husband. I was reading your other posts, and you are taking mind, and mood altering medications for other conditions, and they just are not to be mixed, nor should you be self medicating with weed.

Please get some guidance, and counseling to help you through the long hard process of getting off the weed, so your other meds can be more effective. Talk to your physician, or counselor for the right referrals.

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Life is hard enough without having dope get in the way, and then taking your meds, and going to counseling will get you to a better place where you can deal with the realities of life.