[Abusedlove]

My husband and I tried to make our marriage work in order to avoid a custody battle over our 6 month old daughter. Lately he has started a new job. With this new job came new responsibilities and a new attitude. Every morning when he leaves for work I am informed of something new I have done wrong, and every night I am told how much I failed to accomplish while he was at work. He tells me daily that I fail as a mother and wife.
I want to leave this abuse, but I do not want to lose my daughter. She is 6 months old but only weighs 10 pounds. She was born 2&1/2 months early and spent over a month and a half in NICU. I quit my job to stay home with her. She has multiple needs, mostly dealing with her feedings and weight gain. If I did leave my parents have already offered to take me in. Plus if I were to go back to work part time, my mother has cared for premies in the past. I could trust her to care of my miracle while I was away. What are my chances if getting full custody? At least until she can eat solid food?

[ScottGem]

Your chances are pretty good of getting primary physical custody. It is highly likely you will get joint legal custody and he will get visitation. Though I think it unlikely he will get more than a couple of hours at a time until the health issues are resolved.

[joypulv]

First you need to say where you live. Laws vary.
Your chances of full physical custody might start one way and change, and visitation is part of the decision too. Courts don't like to prevent one parent from having anything to do with a child if at all possible.
I wouldn't let this stop you from telling your husband that you and the baby are going to visit your mother for 2 weeks, and talking to a divorce lawyer about the next step.

[AK lawyer]

... With this new job came new responsibilities and a new attitude. Every morning when he leaves for work I am informed of something new I have done wrong, and every night I am told how much I failed to accomplish while he was at work. He tells me daily that I fail as a mother and wife.
I want to leave this abuse, ...

Are you quite sure he fully understands that you regard this as abusive? Men see the world from a different perspective than normal people. He probably sees it as simply alerting you to a problem and requesting that the problem be corrected. He is probably more than slightly frustrated that you never seem to listen.

Give him fair warning that he is abusing you and that if he doesn't figure out how to permanently correct his behavior you will divorce him and seek custody of the child. This probably will require some serious counseling on his part.

[nesha83]

First I am sorry, I know how you feel. In Texas, where I lived you probably wouldn't get full custody unless you could prove he is physically and emotionally abusive. This is recorded conversations, witnesses, etc. However, most states do support women as primary custody, despite what they may say. So even though it is unfair to men, blah blah blah, it's the way it is, so your chances are pretty good. Looks like that ideal that women are better are caregivers is finally working in our favor eh? ;)

[cdad]

First I am sorry, I know how you feel. In Texas, where I lived you probably wouldn't get full custody unless you could prove he is physically and emotionally abusive. This is recorded conversations, witnesses, etc. However, most states do support women as primary custody, despite what they may say. So even though it is unfair to men, blah blah blah, its the way it is, so your chances are pretty good. Looks like that ideal that women are better are caregivers is finally working in our favor eh? ;)

This was posted in the law boards. And that is what should be quoted or given when making an answer here. Your opinion isn't about the law. So please try to answer correctly in this and other technical sections of AMHD. Thanks.