[BuriedThrice]

I've been out of High School now for three years. I chose not to continue my education because it just didn't make sense to me to put myself into debt in a failing economy with no clue as to what I wanted to do. Instead I worked for a little while, spent a lot of time with an ex of mine, reflected on life, made some changes, worked, traveled a bit and now at 21 I feel I have a better idea of what I want for myself.

The issue is that over the years I've been feeling distant from a lot of the friends I had in high school. A lot of them went to the same schools and still talk all the time. I'm not exactly pining to fit into that crowd anymore, on the contrary I've found that because I've been through some huge transformations in my life I feel like I can't relate to them anymore. I feel like I can't relate to many people anymore.

I'm practically a naturalist and find myself totally at odds with society. I don't drink or smoke and I'm highly principled. All those kids are tied to partying, drinking, wasteful lifestyles, and hooking up. I have no problems with that as I tend to be pragmatic and know that that is what some people define "living" to be. All I ask is that people approach life with an open-mind and a non-judgmental attitude but it seems a lot to ask of people. I'm pretty non-judgmental and humbled about a lot of things but they prefer to stay ignorant.

So I'm at a point now where I just feel like I need to make some new friends. I try to lead by example and not proselytize but people don't understand me anymore. Does anyone ever feel this way about people in their life? Like they don't connect anymore and like they feel it's not worth putting any time or effort into something whether it be a friendship or a love relationship. What do you think?

[ajwain]

I feel you regret now for not continuing thro high school and so not being able to enjoy parties etc with your friends?

[southamerica]

People grow and they grow apart from their childhood friends. It happens all the time. There's nothing wrong with that. Your time is valuable as you only get one shot at life (unless your beliefs are different than mine :)), so surround yourself with who you deem to be positive, progressive people.

Those who were your friends once, and who moved on to a different life than you, are not bad people. You don't have to be their best friend, but you can still know them and remember them with a smile. You can still have a conversation with them if the occasion arises. You don't have to feign anything for all of that to happen.

When you discover your place in life, and how you wish to spend your time here on Earth, with an open mind you will be drawn to like-minded people.

Don't feel odd about growing apart from your childhood, it's natural.

[BuriedThrice]

What ARE your beliefs? I tend to be pretty spiritual but don't actually believe in a heaven or hell. I do believe that this is the only life we have and I agree completely with what you say. I do still talk to these people from time to time but I don't spend the same amount of time that I used to with them. I've been finding like-minded people at my new job and with my new outlook on life after three years I definitely believe in the law of attraction. As a budding naturalist I know what's important to me and what should and shouldn't be done.

[joypulv]

The naturalist in you will lead you to others like you. Audubon groups are big in my rural area, and there are geologists and the Appalachian trail, and people who study the lakes and waterways. All sorts of people devoted to nature, and no one cares who has a college degree.

[Swift21]

I have felt the same way. I don't have any answers at this stage. I find it easy to make new friends and valuable connections. However I find it hard to disassociate from old friends since there are many good memories there and it's the emotional ties that are so hard for me to break away from. They aren't particularly negative influences just that they don't hold the same beliefs and values as me anymore and hanging with them is boring for me. The old mates lay the guilt trip on me for not hanging out with them or if I don't want to do what they do i.e. chillout sessions... when I much rather go to a business session. So I am torn and am currently trying to find a solution. I feel very much the same way you do ! :-D

[tornbetween]

As we get older, what is important to us changes and yes... friends change. I have been having similar conversations lately. I have many associates and only a few friends. This is not bad at all and happens with time and how life changes. Associates are people that are in our life that are important, but I am not really that close to. Friends are friends and as you get older it will be clearer to you to you who your real friends are. Your real friends will be there for you no matter whay and it will become more and more obvious to you in time who they are. I wouldn't put a whole lot of thought into this process - just let things be and hopefully it will all work out on it's own. Good luck to you.