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    jgundberg's Avatar
    jgundberg Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2011, 07:48 PM
    How can I get my 8 years old to listen to me?
    She is really mouthy, and doesn't want to listen and I am having trouble with her. My other 4 kids listen. What should I do?
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #2

    Apr 15, 2011, 08:05 PM

    For one, quit comparing her to your other children. That will only make it worse.

    When does she listen and when does she not? Is there a pattern? A time of day?

    Is she still taking naps or rest time in the afternoons?

    Please give more detials
    jgundberg's Avatar
    jgundberg Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 16, 2011, 05:16 PM
    She gets mouthy a lot. She doesn't take naps she is 8 years old. I feel like she starts arguments for attention, but I am not sure what to do about it. It sometimes turns in to her screaming at me and her siblings. I am having a real hard time with her.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #4

    Apr 16, 2011, 05:54 PM

    What do you mean by she doesn’t take naps?
    Are we talking about afternoon naps?

    Sounds like you have to be more firm. Take something away for bad behaviour and give a small reward for good behaviour.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #5

    Apr 16, 2011, 08:15 PM

    I know a lot of parents stop nap time/rest time after school starts. But for some kids (my 7 year old included) it really does help to lay down and rest (watching a movie or simply resting) for an hour after school, or after lunch on the weekends.

    Its something to think about, maybe try?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #6

    Apr 17, 2011, 03:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jgundberg View Post
    She gets mouthy alot. she doesn't take naps she is 8 years old. i feel like she starts arguments for attention, but i am not sure what to do about it. it sometimes turns in to her screaming at me and her siblings. i am having a real hard time with her.
    I think you have hit the nail on the head, she's looking for ATTENTION, and she's getting it, probably not the kind of attention she really wants, but she's getting YOUR attention.

    With 4 other children I understand that its difficult to give individual attention on a daily basics, not to mention the 100 other jobs to have to do everyday.

    You need to try and allocate a time that is just her and you, a positive time slot, find out what she likes, there's no shame in not knowing if you don't. Then find some time to do that with her, whether it's a sport, or doing her hair or playing with her, I think perhaps she'll take whatever you suggest, even going for a walk to the shop, just you and her.

    Sit down with her at a quite time and talk to her, tell her you love her, say the words, give her a hug, ask her how's things are going in school, ask about her friends, her teachers, and plan something with her, just the two of you.

    Being a parent is hard work, giving them all attention is hard,but it is what it is.

    Have a family night, popcorn and a film,make it part of the week, pull out a duvet and everyone cuddle up on the couch, make it the law in your house that everyone is home at that time, no exceptions... being together as a family will give her,you and the other children the feeling of a secure base and something to look forward too every week.

    Get them to help cook dinner, play a board game with them.

    It takes time but the rewards are life long.

    My eldest is 19 nearly 20 and one of her favourite childhood memories was family night.

    The dishes in the sink will still be there if you can take a few minutes to sit and check in with her and see how she's doing.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #7

    Apr 17, 2011, 12:25 PM

    I aboslutely agree with red.

    In addition, when she is throwing her fits and acting out, leave no room for arguments, anytime she tries to argue or whine or throw a fit, cut her off and let her know it is NOT up for discussion, and she WILL do as you say. If she continues, put her in time out. Let her scream cry and throw a fit for as long as she likes, so long as she STAYS in time out (a corner a chair whatever you choose)

    This has been working for my daughter who has recently taken to arguing and whining when she doesn't get her way.

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