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jsantana319 · Apr 14, 2011, 06:46 PM

What do women want in a man?

dontknownuthin · Apr 15, 2011, 10:48 AM

this would be a different answer for every woman you ask. I think the shared thread though is that people are attracted to healthy, happy people.

It sounds from this question like you don't feel you are what women want, so want to change. I recommend you take a different approach and become what you admire in other men. If you admire men who are in really great physical shape, that's attainable for everyone - start working out and work on eating healthy. If you have bad skin, see a dermatologist and fix it. If you are dissatisfied with your job, get more education and improve your job and prospects. If you are really shy, sign up for toastmasters which is a really great way of meeting people who are also struggling with shyness, and overcoming the problem at the same time - you can become very confident and learn a great skill of public speaking in a safe environment. If you are depressed, see a counselor and get on anti-depressants - it can be chemical and just getting help with that can change your outlook and how you come across.

Spruce up your home, spruce up your clothing - if you don't know what to change, get help - even if you don't have a close and stylish friend to help you, stores offer this help for free - take advantage of it. Department stores have personal shoppers even, who can help you put together a whole new look.

If you feel you are turning women off, ask family and friends for advise and follow it.

I had a coworker tell me that my body language was very closed - I hunched into myself when we were out. She said to sit up straight, smile more, and put my arms more to my sides in a more open posture and it weirdly made a really big difference - not just men but also women were quicker to initiate conversations with me. I realized that as confident as I am, it's hard for me to put myself "out there" as potential date material, so I may go through the motions but my body language shows my discomfort. I learned that what works for me is to just be out with friends, because when I'm with them I'm happiest and at my best authentic self, and I get my friends to go places where I might meet people - they know routinely call me if they are going out after work, where I can meet singles they work with, and so on.

There's also a lot of merit to doing what interests you because you can meet more people doing something that you're really into - as long as it's social. Join a bowling team, a church (and join clubs - you won't meet someone at services but if you get really involved, you will), a civic group like JayCees, etc. and you'll meet people.

And know that making friends is the key - if you're only meeting men, it's OK because the more friends you have, the more people they will introduce you to.

It can also help to be the social director - throw a party and have your friends bring other friends. Some friends of mine had several "happy hour" parties last summer, inviting all the random people they know from neighbors to colleagues to old friends from school, and a few different couples emerged from the group, and lots of new friendships. You could do that - just invite everyone you know and see what happens.

ajwain · Apr 17, 2011, 01:01 AM

Actually its not that difficult but neither easy to plese women.. basically all these things are important to strike a mark.. good clothes, pleasant personality, good height good body ,good education and job and pleasant manners! But these are only for the beginning till you get to know each other.. but later what matters is your good qualities.. just care for her- a simple phone call telling how much you love her, holding her hands , making her feel special with gifts ,being honest with her and everything else that you can do to make her happy.. so just be yourself and let love take its course..

JudyKayTee · Apr 17, 2011, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by ajwain

actually its not that difficult but neither easy to plese women..basically all these things are important to strike a mark..good clothes, pleasant personality, good height good body ,good education and job and pleasant manners!! but these are only for the beginning till you get to know each other..but later what matters is your good qualities.. just care for her- a simple phone call telling how much you love her, holding her hands , making her feel special with gifts ,being honest with her and everything else that you can do to make her happy.. so just be yourself and let love take its course..

I must disagree with your shallow assessment of what women really want in a man.

Good height? Making her feel special with gifts? Good clothes?

How about stability, ethics, kindness, commendable human traits. I have NEVER either dated or NOT dated someone because of his height, good ("expensive") clothes and or the gifts he gives. Sometimes there's a thin line between gifts and payment for your company.

excon · Apr 17, 2011, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by jsantana319

What do women want in a man?

Hello j:

Security, and lots of good sex.

excon

ajwain · Apr 17, 2011, 09:48 AM

I suggest you read the whole thing again and then comment!

JudyKayTee · Apr 17, 2011, 10:04 AM

I read it - you said, "actually its not that difficult but neither easy to plese women..basically all these things are important to strike a mark..good clothes, pleasant personality, good height good body ..."

Aren't those your words?

I've read it again. I disagree. I don't believe women are "pleased" by good height, gifts, expensive clothing.

Women need and want men of substance.

Wondergirl · Apr 17, 2011, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I read it - you said, "actually its not that difficult but neither easy to plese women..basically all these things are important to strike a mark..good clothes, pleasant personality, good height good body ..."

Aren't those your words?

I've read it again. I disagree. I don't believe women are "pleased" by good height, gifts, expensive clothing.

Women need and want men of substance.

I'm guessing he is saying the "good clothes" etc. stuff is what attracts women ("important to strike a mark"), but I too disagree with that. If I'm at a bar talking with two guys, and one is wearing an old sweatshirt but has kind eyes and a gentle manner, and the other is wearing a beautiful cashmere sweater, is handsome, but has cold eyes and uses profanity, I'll go with the sweatshirt guy every time.

Most women don't judge on physical appearance as often as men think they do, whereas that's how women attract men, through the physical. Men think their mindset is also ours. Not true. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

dontknownuthin · Apr 19, 2011, 09:29 AM

I don't think it's shallow to acknowledge that physical attraction does matter and things like height can factor into what women are looking for. I admit it - I like men over 6'. I'm 5'9" and I like how I feel when I'm with a tall, strong guy - I like it enough that it's a factor to me. It's not more important than character but it's impotant that I feel attracted to my partner, and it does factor into that.

I care how a guy dresses, too. I consider how a person dresses to be a behavior, and therefore not really a shallow thing to consider. I think it shows poor character to present oneself in a way that embarasses or offends other people. I like a guy who knows to wear a suit to a wedding, and to have it properly tailored, and who knows to save the ratty t-shirt for mowing the lawn - not for going to a movie with me. I have a brother in law who presents himself as a total slob and I find it very unpleasant to be with him because his appearance grosses me out and embarasses me because it draws negative attention from others.

On the other hand, I'm not looking for a model, and looks and clothes and height won't ever make up for a guy being inconsiderate, egotistical, etc.

A guy who's shorter shouldn't worry about it - there are a lot of petite women and women who don't care about height. But if he's wearing a sloppy beard or has bad teeth or has no clue how to dress, I think he should give these things some attention and correct them to improve his prospects and his self-esteem.

joypulv · Apr 19, 2011, 10:18 AM

Anyone who asks this question is off to a bad start in relationships.
It means you react rather than act. BE who you are, and know who you are.
For every billion women, there are a billion answers.
Besides, all throughout my 64 years as a woman, I sometimes thought I knew what I wanted and was invariably wrong. Maybe it really all is just pheromones.