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Cant cope with the death of my boyfriend.
It has been four days since I lost the love of my life. I loved him dearly and he knows that. But his death is a shock to me because I never expected him to be gone so soon and suddenly. Ever since I received the news my heart is torn apart and all I do is cry and I won't stop crying. His death became so surprising to me and I feel like I'm living a nightmare and I don't want to get up. I don't know if I want to believe what just happened to him. I mean he wasn't sick just some psycho path person run him over and I feel like my life won't be the same without him. Every time when I see his picture or remember his last wishes I cry and asking God why him? I don't know what to do I'm just torn apart and I feel like my life is falling apart because I lost that one thing I loved the most and I know I won't have it back. I know he's watching over me and wants me to be happy and not cry but I cannot stop crying I cry every minute and I have been down lately. I just can't cope with the death of my boyfriend. Its hard to accept the FACT that he's gone 4ever and I will never get to talk to him again. Any suggestion on what I should do??
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Yes I too am very very sorry for your loss.
Words at this moment won't do anything to take away the pain. You are probably hoping that someone will be bale to say something profound that helps you to feel a little better but sadly that won't happen either. It is sad that the only thing we can offer is to say that in time you will heal. You'll never forget and the pain will never die but in time you will learn to embrace and celebrate the time you shared with him, as opposed to cry and mourn over his passing. And I agree with the above post that talking to counselor at some point may also help your healing path! But just remember to take it day at a time and live life as best you can how he would have wanted you to live it! Sorry again! |
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 Originally Posted by i-love-him
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Look to your faith for comfort. Think about the way he would want you to live or what he would want you to do and hang on to that for comfort. One day a time... Im so sorry for your loss.
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I have also just recently lost my boyfriend in a car accident a little more than 3 months ago... I've learned there is nothing that someone could say to make you feel better immedialty but talking to your friends and family helps so much. I came on here because I think that if I talk to someone that has had the same thing happen to them they would understand me more that anyone else could that hasn't gone through this before... maybe we could help each other out?
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Hey, I lost my boyfriend in a car crash 7 months ago.Since then I've went through all the rough steps at the start I didn't know how I lived each day it was that bad my heart was ripped in pieces I seen a counsellor that didn't help.I found the most comfort in my friends,my boyfriends friends and my boyfriends family.Im a lot better now when I say better I'm eating properly again and stuff,Still have my off moments I've noticed I get these a lot after I've had a drink.I loved my boyfriend to pieces we were a real cute couple always held hands he was so gentle.You will meet gobes god forgive me boys who come up to you offering you a shoulder to cry on in reality trying to go with you avoid them at all costs.I head out with my friends I avoid kissing any boys as to behonest I haven't completely accepted my boyfriends death and nobody could ever replace him.it would make me sick to think of going with somebody and them getting jelous of me loving my man for that reason I rather be on my own.It sounds daft but I talk to my boyfriend in my head all the time sometime I write the things down hoping if he can't hear me hel see it when I've wrote it.I talk out loud at his grave I always pick a time when there's no one there.I instill in my mind that he's around me I never feel alone or scared anymore.sometimes things happen like I win money in a scratchcard or do well in an exam and I always av a wee smile for my love because I know he helped win that.anyway I'm prob rambling on hang in there
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Sweetie, it's only been four days. Of course you are in so much pain and feeling so lost. Huge hugs to you! Crying and expressing your feelings usually helps a lot, as does talking, writing, praying, etc. Lean on your family and friends. After you have had a cry, try to remember something that the two of you shared that made you smile. Write to him or keep a diary.
Try to live the way you know he would want you to live. Realize that it's okay to smile or laugh one minute, then cry another. It really is! I remember being so strong after my husband died (or at least thinking I was!). Just a little over 4 months after he died, my family threw me a little birthday party and we planned a bowling outing. While we bowled I laughed and had a good time. Shortly after, as they sang Happy Birthday to me, I fell apart! Everyone grieves differently, but it is very likely that these moments will come and go. After a time, if you are still finding yourself immersed in the grief then you should speak to your doctor about it. You may need a different kind of support such as bereavement counselling, medication or both. Bereavement groups are wonderful for many people because you are with people who understand your feelings, accept the way you grieve and can support you incredibly. The one think you will learn is that everyone deals with grief differently. There is no right or wrong way. I really believe that the most helpful and healing thing is to talk about your feelings and the experience. I believe that if you close yourself off you will delay your healing. Never let ANYONE tell you that you should be over it! Tell them they are wrong and you have the right to heal in whatever way and taking however long you need! Slowly the crying will lessen. Gradually the sun will shine again. Don't rush it... take whatever time you need. There will always be someone here who will llisten. :) Warm gently hugs, Didi |
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Oh my gosh, I can't believe so many girls lost their boyfriends in car crashes in this thread. I also lost my boyfriend a little over a year ago in a car wreck. We lived together for 4 years and I still cannot believe he is gone. The worst thing is that his parents, particularly his mother, suddenly started treating me like crap, when our relationship before (though we weren't close) had been fine. Did you guys experience anything like this?
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I lost my boyfriend of 2 years, and the love of my life, 4 months and 3 days ago. I know that for at least the whole first month my life was a daze. One day ran into the next and weeks melted together. This is the first time that I have gotten online and actually searched out other people who have been through the same thing. My family, friends, and Scott’s family were all there for me as best they could be but I still felt as if they had no clue how I was feeling. My world had come crashing down just like everybody else’s but it seemed like they all had an anchor, someone for them to turn to and get comfort from. Nobody else got the fact that Scott was my rock, the one person I could tell everything to.
Time has helped me work through the pain, but it never disappears, I just slowly get used to it being a constant in my life. Almost everything I see can somehow trigger a thought of Scott, and any decision I have to make prompts the question… What would Scott say? What would he think of my decision? But I almost dread the day that those thought don’t occur to me. Just like mcmorrc2 I talk to Scott in my head all the time, write him letters when I am feeling particularly upset, and talk to his grave. It is the best way for me to stay connected, and I truly believe that he is watching over me. There are even times that things in my life happen to where I know that no one but Scott could have put it into motion. I wish you luck with the healing process that you are going through and thank you and everyone else who has posted on here for help in my healing journey. Sometimes there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone in your feelings and that there can be people to reach out to in the same situation. |
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It is a horrible thing all the killings and so forth; they don't think this is somebody's son daughter, husband, wife, boyfriend,.
It might take awhile before you can look at things that remind you of him but one day you will be thankful for the memories and things that remind you of him. I only have one pic and a piston ash tray and a pair of jeans that belonged to the only guy I ever really really loved and I have the memories and thankful that the last thing I did was we were talking on the phone and he said "I have to go... my boss.....", we went to hang up the phones and for some reason I yelled "Jimmy" and he said "what?" and I said "I love you". I hadn't told him I loved him in a really long time. The memories that we can't handle at the time are the very things that eventually in time Are the most cherished things we have. |
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Dearest can't cope, My son died in 1993. If I can help, let me know.
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Originally Posted by i-love-him
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I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. Really am. I can only imagine how you're feeling now.
I know you've heard this all the time, but really, all you need is time. I'm not saying that you'll eventually forget him. All I'm saying is that eventually you'll accept the fact and move on. I know he'll always be in your heart. You take care now, all right? <3 |
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I lost my on and off boyfriend of about 3 and 1/2 years on December 4th, 2007. We were extremely close to each other, he was always there for me and the one I always turned to when other people were hurting me. He also died in a car crash. The news was so unexpected, everyday since I found out it's been like a dream. Or living a nightmare, the one thing I feared most. I had just seen him not even 48 hours before it happened, I spent the night with him and the last time I saw him he dropped me off at my house and kissed me. I know what you must be going through, and like everyone has said, it doesn't exactly get "better" over time. You are stillgoing to remember him and there will always be something missing, but just remember he would want you to be happy and live your life and just go by all the things he saw that were great about you. Nothing anyone can say can heal your pain. I know it didn't for me, but it did help to have support from my friend. When I'm alone, though, it really hits me. I'm sure its been awhile now but I hope you are doing good :]
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I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you have gone through. I too lost my boyfriend. Two years ago he was killed by the police. I still listen to his last voice mails he left me, I still cry. I write to him and I find myself talking out loud to him. I've gone through all the emotions there is to feel. I've been so mad at him for leaving me here all alone. I've wondered what if and why. I've cried and begged him to show me somekind of sign letting me no he still loves me. Lately I've had awful nightmares he's still alive he just doest want me anymore. I wake up crying they seenm so real! This is what I've been going through but after two years the pain is not as bad. Time does heal a broken heart please be strong to you and all the women who have lost their soulmate!
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It has been since July 27, 2005 since I lost the love of my life to hepatitis C--it was a terrible, painful, death for him. I know that he is in a better place, because he is know in no more pain. They, people, will tell you it will get better--but it doesn't. I don't cry anymore that is good. But I quit being a nurse, I just quit Mc Donalds' My life turned up side down. My life without him meant nothing. I honestly don't know if it ever will. I have been to counseling, grief counseling but to no avail. Life will eventually get better--I also wander when. Hang in there, those first few days, months, and even first year was the hardest. |
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I just lost my boyfriend 5 days ago. The funeral was yesterday and I don't know how to go on. I need to be by people at all times, and pray that God has him in his hands. All I can offer is my condolences and that we're in the same boat. We wanted to be together forever, he was indeed my soulmate. So in times like these, we need prayer, and to be with the ones we loved and those who loved your boyfriend. This is so you can always live with his memories. All I want to do is cry too. How are we suppose to return to everyday life when the one true love of our life has been extinguished? Honestly it's a question a cannot even answer myself yet, but what I do know is that we'll make it. We're strong. And the men we loved still do love us and will be protecting us for the rest of our lives. They're our angels now. Beyonce's Halo song is sad but true. We're surrounded my their embrace. Be strong, he's up there smiling at you and loving you for the rest of our lives. God Bless.
Alison |
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Hey I lost my boyfriend of 5 years, 5 years ago yesterday (Valentines day) My email address to help anyone is [email protected]. I know how it feels and I will help anyone as I had no one to help me X
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I am so sorry about your lost. My son was 16 years old when he lost his girlfriend ,whom was in a car accident. She was on the way to pick my son up to go to a movies and at the time she was talking to him on the telephone. All he remember hearing her so my God and the phone went dead. About a five minutes later we got a call that she was in a accident, so my son got my niece to take him to the hospital and me and his dad had to get dress to meet them there. But a few second later someone called and said she had died and all I was worrying about is getting to my son and holding him and let him that everything will be all right. But he was angry with me for awhile,because he was suppose to have taken her to the movies but he punish from driving . So he thought if he had driven the his car maybe she would have been still alive. So gradually my son was feeling the same way your feeling , but as time goes on it will get better. Because I did not only think of her as being my sons girlfriend but a daughter to me, at the time my daughter had first year of college and she sort of played the role as my daughter. And always remember that memories last a life time and we have to hold on to them to keep our love ones next to us. Oh yes you shall meet him again and until them take it one day at a time. It has been six years now and my son have a wife and to beautiful girls and we still to this day will always keep her in our hearts.
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Originally Posted by CharlieLovesJac
I lost my boyfriend and I need someone to talk to, its just so hard, and no one seems to understand me.. I am just so alone... |
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