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    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #1

    Apr 7, 2011, 04:18 PM
    When He Says "Sex Isn't Everything"
    Sex IS everything when you're not getting it!

    Been going with my boyfriend for 5 years now. In the beginning, the sex was great and always happening. Then, it started to go away. Please take into consideration that he was a drug addict for 3 years of our relationship. A factor to low libido? Yes. Now that is clean (8 days) he still says "Sex isn't everything."
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #2

    Apr 7, 2011, 04:28 PM

    Regardless of the drug use (good for him for being clean!) some men really do believe that sex isn't everything. Sex is great. But love is greater. Fun is greater. Being together is greater. Knowing you are there for each other through thick and thin. That is greater.

    Sex is an important part to a relationship. But its not THE MOST important part.


    However, if it is bothering you, and you would like more, sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and work on a compromise. I dislike sex, it makes me uncomfratable and its just weird. But my ex husband (when we were together) loved sex at least several times a week. So we compromised. Since I never wanted it, and he always wanted it, we met in the middle and made sure to try to do it at least once a week.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #3

    Apr 7, 2011, 06:33 PM

    Drug addiction will change the libido.

    Coming off the influence of long term drug use/abuse will also affect the mental and physical effects.

    8 days clean is not enough time for the mind and body to adjust to the absence of chemicals in the system.

    This is probably a hard time and will require patience.
    rtorres81's Avatar
    rtorres81 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 7, 2011, 08:53 PM
    Sorry, a low libido after 8 days of being sober "clean"? I think if he has only be sober that long, he is still "coming off" the drugs. I don't think it's a libido thing. Now if he was a drug addict and has been sober for 2 years, then he needs your help in bringing back the sexual feelings. Role playing, massages, soft stuff. Memories of why sex was fun. Sex isn't everything... but IT SURE IS IMPORTANT!
    dennis124217's Avatar
    dennis124217 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 10, 2011, 02:30 PM
    I am a recovering addit, and when I cleaned my *** up sex came in spurts with me, and my wife was feeling the way you are, I am 2 years clean now and sex still does the spurt thing. I am iron man for a week or two then limp willy for a month, dr say it takes years to get outa system, little trick my wife figured out, make sexual comment that you know he likes without directly saying it, then change into something sexy, and don't talk about it, touch him suddlely on his inner thighs and his chest, then make the first direct move! But don't rush into it, we are very self conscience if mr. wiggly won't work

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