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    David057's Avatar
    David057 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 7, 2011, 10:10 AM
    Been Seeing this girl for 3 months.. Needs to figure herself out
    I am 25 she is 24...


    So I met this girl out one night and we instantly hit it off. Didn't hook up, didn't do anything, just spoke. She is a very proper girl, very classy, smart, funny, athletic.. Literally my dream girl.

    Anyway, she had just got out of a relationship a month prior to us meeting. She warned me she was not ready for a relationship, which I was completely OK with. We have gone on dates, hung out with friends, spoke everyday (phone/txt). I went out to her house and met her parents, she met mine.

    Every couple of weeks she would say she was getting freaked out, she didn't want to hurt me, she didn't want to get hurt and she cannot open up completely. To which I replied I am not pressuring you in anyway, I am here for you, we can go as slowly as you wish.

    Things have been great, until this morning that is. We had dinner plans and she told me that she doesn't think that we should be more than friends, that she is nervous and she is still very hurt. She did say that if she were to be with anyone it would absolutely be me that she things Im attractive, great person, and she likes me a lot. I completely understand this and want to just be around her but she is so perfect that I want more. I can wait though, she is worth it.

    How do I handle this now? Do I invite her out? Do I contact her? How do I approach this without screwing it up as I have been known to do..
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #2

    Apr 7, 2011, 10:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ;
    she doesn't think that we should be more than friends, that she is nervous and she is still very hurt. She did say that if she were to be with anyone it would absolutely be me
    She has made it clear she only wants to be friends, no where in your post did she say she wanted you to wait on her, so I'm not sure why your getting this idea, sounds like she was just letting you down gently.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Apr 7, 2011, 11:18 PM

    Advice is right,she's not interested and is being'nice' about it.

    She's still healing from her breakup,so leave her to it and go live your own life.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 8, 2011, 06:22 AM

    It's not always about you and what you want. She may be afraid to lead you on and give you false hope. There could many many other reasons she wants some distance from you.

    You can't control the way she thinks, nor can you control her actions. What you can do is tell her how you feel. Tell her what you told us and see how she reacts.

    But be warned that even though you can tell her how you really feel, that you are willing just to be friends and nothing more, there's no guarantee that she wants to just be friends with you. You can't force her into something that she doesn't want.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 10, 2011, 05:43 PM

    Back off and let her heal. You are not going to get what you want from her, she isn't ready for what you want. Hanging around as a friend, waiting for her to be ready gets you both hurt.

    Sorry guy, but you are not listening, and you are putting too much pressure on her just being there wanting more than she is willing or able to give. A recipe for disaster.

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