[ru4linda]

We live in Michigan. My daughter gave birth in November 2010 and gave the child up for adoption. She identified who she believed to be the father, he agreed the child was his, he signed the birth certificate and agreed to the adoption, including going to court with my daughter where they both told the judge they chose adoption and agreed to terminate their parental rights. The adoption went forward. Now, 4 months later, the "father" of the baby took a dna test, and it was determined he is not the father. He notified my daughter and the adoption agency, as well as the adoptive parents. My daughter knows who the real father is. My question is: does my daughter (or the adoption agency) have a legal responsibility to notify the real father (birth father) that the baby is his, and that the baby was adopted without his knowledge?

[JudyKayTee]

Let's do first things first. Was the adoption FINALIZED?

It would appear that your daughter knew who the father was the first time around; now that person is not the father and she "knows" the identity of the father the second time around.

Without DNA there IS no father.

Notify the adoption agency and let them take care of it.

Your daughter has done a terrible disservice to her child, the pretend father, the real father and the couple that took this child in to be raised as their own.

Shameful and painful to read.

[ru4linda]

Why are you so judgmental? My daughter has done the very best thing she could do - she found a loving, fabulous couple to raise her daughter in a way she could not - two parents with the love and financial means to raise her. She endured the pain and embarrassment of unwed pregnancy without whining or trying to blame either of the two boys who slept with her. My daughter did not have a clear idea of when she became pregnant because she is a long distance runner, and she does not have regular periods. When the obstetrician gave her a due date based on the ultrasound and size of the baby, she counted back and determined who the father was. The baby was born 4 weeks before the due date - early we thought - but healthy and normal weight and size. My daughter at this point had no reason to believe she had identified the wrong boy. He insisted putting his name on the birth cert. - my daughter never asked him to do so. 3 months after the adoption he wanted a DNA test - her fault??

[J_9]

Okay, these days being an unwed mother is not as an embarrassment as it was back in the 70s, 80s or even 90s. So you don't need to play that card.

Judy was in no way being judgmental. Counting back to determine who the father of the baby is, is no way to actually determine who the father is. Whether your daughter believed who the father was or not is immaterial now. The fact remains that the boy is not the father and your daughter had an idea that there might be another person who could be the biological father, but she did not state that at the time of the adoption.

I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see this more than you ever will and I am hardly judgmental, but honest and up front. If honesty hurts your feelings, well then I am sorry.

Your daughter knew from the get go that there might be two boys who might be the father, but she kept that to herself.

She endured the pain and embarrassment of unwed pregnancy without whining or trying to blame either of the two boys who slept with her.

But she did not take part in this? She isn't to blame to sleep with two boys?

[Fr_Chuck]

First this is a legal board, if you want poor thing and a lot of cozy lovie dovie feelings, go over to the relationship.

If she was not sure who the father was or if she lied about who it was, if there is a adoption, the real bio father may have grounds for having it over turned.

Next anyone knows ( or should) that ultrasound due dating are best guesses and not completely right within a couple weeks at least.

Next of course after three months the bio father had no legal right or standing to even ask for a test. If the court adoption was final, they should not allowed the test to start with.

She did not ask enough questions and now may have cost this family a lot of money if the real bio father files to ask for his rights to be honored.

Next sorry what shame of a unwed mother, not sure what decade you are living in, but there are more unwed mothers than married now adays.

[Synnen]

She found a loving and caring family---that she may have just screwed out of their child because she didn't speak up that she'd been promiscuous.

Oh, how unselfish of her!

And please--I'm a birthmother--I understand more of what she's going through than you do, I'm sure.

She should have been clear that there were two possibilities for a father, and there should have been a DNA test at birth.

Now the TRUE biological father can step forward and move to overturn the adoption. And since your daughter LIED, and already relinquished her parental rights--he could raise the child COMPLETELY as his own, where she would not have the right to visitation or custody--but she'd still have to pay child support.

Get a lawyer. You need one.

[JudyKayTee]

Yes, it's her fault. I find your wording to be somewhat amusing - "two boys who slept WITH her." She apparently didn't sleep with anyone.

The "very best thing" she could do was lie about the identity of the father, not reveal that there WAS a choice #2?

Just out of curiosity, whose fault do YOU think this is? The first "father;" the second "father;" the baby; the adoptive parents? The mother who raised the mother?

I don't see that any of them concealed the truth and/or lied. I see that she did.

Track down the Attorney who handled the adoption before someone else does. Your daughter "found" the adoptive couple. Let her "find" the Attorney.

It would appear your daughter also perjured herself. Brace yourself for that.

[AK lawyer]

... Now, 4 months later, the "father" of the baby took a dna test, and it was determined he is not the father. He notified my daughter and the adoption agency, as well as the adoptive parents. ...

Presumably this was not a court-ordered DNA test. I'm curious how he managed to get a DNA sample from the adopted baby 4 months after the adoption. And why did he get this test done? There are some ulterior motives in play here. I'm of the opinion that the ersatz father is playing mind games on the bio-mom.

As a practical matter, everyone could just let it be. There is less than one chance in about 4 trillion that the bio-father will ever come forth (if he isn't told).

[GV70]

Ooops! I can remember "Baby Richard" and "Baby Jessica" cases...

[stevetcg]

If I had a dollar for every time gestational math said I wasn't the father and it turned out I actually was via DNA proof...

Well... I'd have a dollar.

As stated above, ultrasound determination of age is a guess.

[JudyKayTee]

- And if I had a dollar for every time someone said I was the mother and then DNA said - oh, wait. Never mind.