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    james16925's Avatar
    james16925 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 21, 2011, 08:57 PM
    Should I take her back, again?
    So I've been seeing my girlfriend for about a year. At first it was great, then about six months into it her attitude started changing. A few weeks later I found out she was on drugs (meth), we got into a huge fight and told her it was over. She gave me a few bruises and started to cut herself on her wrist but just enough to draw blood. She told me she used to have a drug prob. I told I wasn't having that in my life and she promised never to do it again so I forgave her. Two days later she was back on them, we had a fight she said it was a relapse and it won't happen again. Two weeks later she got arrested for shoplifting (she blamed her friend and she was an accomplice) and I found her pipe in her bags when she was still in jail. I broke up with her but took her back after she said she changed when I left her. Since then I think she really quit. A few months later I found out she had lied about receiving some money, small amounts less than fifty, from her parents several times (she never worked and lived off me the whole time) to buy drugs (just weed she says but I think she did meth once). I told her it was over. A few more bruises for me and some more cuts on her wirst. For two weeks she kept calling and texting me. I told her one more chance but after a week I told her I didn't feel the same about her and couldn't do it anymore and didn't see her for a week. She swears she loves me and has really changed, no more drugs and now has a decent job. She says she wiould do anything to be with me again. In between our fights I would fall for her all over again and I do miss her. Even as I write this I know it sounds crazy but part of me wants to believe her but I don't know if I can trust her again after all the times she has broken it. What should I do?
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #2

    Mar 21, 2011, 09:20 PM
    If you want to be with her, just be prepared for everything you just described to happen again. Even if she stays clean, she will always be an addict. If she is up front about herself, attending Narcotics Anonymous, hanging out with healthy friends, that goes a long way toward getting better.

    What you have described is a relationship with a liar, addicts are. She is also given to violence and self-harm. Being an addict also means that she is very intelligent, probably beautiful and creative too.

    What do you want for you? I'd find out as much about drug addiction, its impact on relationships as I could. Then weigh the pros and cons of being with her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Mar 23, 2011, 08:03 AM

    I wouldn't even consider being with her unless she has been clean for a year and made many positive changes in her life.

    You would be wise to get as many facts as you can about addicts, and understand the frustrations of caring about them, and even being in their lives.

    They can be quite disruptive even when they are fighting their own demons.
    stefka123456's Avatar
    stefka123456 Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2011, 02:26 PM
    She will continue to do what she is doing. You should move on.
    Can u imagine having a life with a person like that? What if you guys end up getting married or have children in the future? If she would go as far as to cut her self when she is sober, there is something wrong. You should tell her parents or doctors, cause one day she could actually kill her self and you will feel guilty that u didn't do anything.

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