[REllen]

My husband wanted to buy me a car. We selected a car and paid an advance. Later I was unsure and told my husband I don't like the colour of the car. I feel so bad and guilty. I wsa SO stupid. The car dealer company belongs to the father of a close friend of my husband.(we realised this after we paid the advance to the salesman who was dealing with us in the compnay) my husband feels really bad because he didn't keep his promise to buy the car and the compnay belongs to his friends father. (the salesman who was handling us in the company was abit rude and said he'' pay the money 'if' the car is sold to someone else. It was just a verbal thins). I feel bad because I let my husband down like this. I should have been more active in the buying process. I wasn't until he paid the advance.Grrrr.. now we are all in a deadlock situation. My husband keeps telling me to forget about the advance and look for another car. He says he's not going to 'pester' them. They can give it 'if' they want. He feels guilty to ask for the money. (my husband is generally a person who values friendship more than money). I keep telling myself 'Why didn't I open my mouth at that time and tell him I didn't like the colour'. Grr.. the fact was I wasn't sure but later really hated the cari asked my husband several times to ask his friends dad and now my husband is annooyed with ME! (). It is all a mess. Such a mess. It's two weeks now and my heart and mind is all so stressed. I don't know what to do. We are so fedup because of this terrible mistake that now we don't know where to go to select a car. Please advise me how to get over this.

[JudyKayTee]

Get over what? The loss of the deposit? The difference in the way you and your husband think? I'm somewhat at a loss about why you're so upset.

I think you have to look at the options - lose the money; don't lose the money. What is the worst thing that will happen if the deposit is not returned?

What is the worst thing that will happen if your husband loses a friend over this?

My concern is that you've posted this same scenario three times with slightly different details - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...l#post2737311; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...sit-22402.html,

I found it unusual that you are praying to God that the salesman will be cursed. It appears that the total money at stake is $300. Is that correct?
If you don't want to be upset and stressed in the future you are going to have to learn to speak up for yourself. It's too late for that now, in this situation.

[QLP]

Couldn't you just select another car from the same dealer on the same deposit? I don't know where you live or how things are generally done there, but in my experience a deposit is not refundable if the customer just changes their mind and the salesman is being quite reasonable in saying he will refund the deposit if the car is sold, but will more than likely be happy to transfer it to a different car and make an alternative sale.

[simoneaugie]

The other posted questions were long ago. Although they may be similar in factual ways, they are different in terms of human relationships, moral obligations and financial behavior. What we have here is an emotional well-being issue based in legal actions.

[Fr_Chuck]

First we are not here to really "make you feel better" and there is the Legal issue and the moral issue, and the "I need to feel better issue.

1. you gave a deposit to buy a car, you don't get that back from a legal point of view if you change your mind, You may be able to have it changed to a different car with the same company but that will be up to the company.

2. the sales person is not being rude, he was being direct that you bought a car and can not just "change your mind, esp because of the color"

3. if you did not want to buy, at the time you were buying, that is why you say something, not after you get home.

So how do you get over it, figure you lost 300 dollars because of "YOUR CHOICE" and stop blaming your husband, you could have had a car, but you decided to lose the 300 dollars.

Your husband has seemed to forgive you, but you don't want to forgive yourself, and seem to want to push blame to others.

Praying to God to curse someone who is only doing their job because of your issues is so sad, and from my religious view point only brings the curse on yourself, so you need to forgive everyone and start looking in the mirror as the person who is having the issues.

[martinizing2]

That much stress over 300 dollars , the color of the car , and no closure to the point of praying for curses.

You would feel better if you looked at this from an adult perspective instead of that of a spoiled 12 yr old.

[REllen]

Hi.. so at least the car dealer had more feelings and goodness than most of the people who gave answers here. The guy eventually sold the car and gave me back $200. So I lost $ 100. To all car dealers - please dont'STEAL' money from customers. The bad karma will follow you. Thanks all anyway. There is a closure to my issue.

[REllen]

Hi. I did not put the other post you mentioned. Tx.

[adviceishere]

If the colour of a car is the worst of your worries you should get down on your hands and knees and thank your lucky stars this is all you have to stress about.

[JudyKayTee]

What? You posted this same problem on the two threads I quoted. I don't know how you can say "that's not me" when the posts appear on your profile!

Now I question the truth in any of your posts.

[martinizing2]

REllen does not find this helpful : not understanding and kind.

I understand that sometimes the truth is not kind .

[JudyKayTee]

I understand that sometimes the truth is not kind .

Nor is it wanted when your purpose is to pray to God that the person who sold the car to you is cursed.