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    slickrich33's Avatar
    slickrich33 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 18, 2011, 01:25 PM
    Girlfriend still in contact with her ex.
    My girlfriend of 1.5 years put a car in her name for her ex (and claims it's just a favor for a friend). He deposits money into an account and she then initiates a monthly payment online. She promised me that the situation would not effect our relationship in any way. And, essentially, there is no other reason to communicate with each other. Well, he calls about once a week for things that I feel are mere excuses to contact her - which has been the case throughout our entire relationship. He used to text or call twice a week - now it's down to once a week. I have asked that she fix the situation and she refuses stating that she doesn't like to be told what to do. She claims that she loves me, has no interest to rekindling things with her ex (supposedly they broke up three years ago - seems like they have been stringing each other along the past three years) and that I have nothing to feel insecure about. I completely disagree. The situation has become unbearable and I am at the point where I want to part ways over this. She finally called and asked him to not contact her unless he was unable to make a payment on time. She then became angry at me because I put my foot down, demanding that she respect me and respect our relationship and to stop all contact with her ex. What should I do? I'm thinking we should go our separate ways.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #2

    Mar 18, 2011, 01:59 PM

    Ask her to try and consider the position that she, and HE, have put you in. I mean how would she react if the tables were turned? What if YOU were having constant contact with one of YOUR ex-girlfriends? How long would she go along with THAT? Not long I'm sure.

    No, it's not asking too much for your feelings to be considered. But make no mistake, it's all in the delivery whenever we have these problems arise in our relationships. She , or no other woman I know of, wants to be made to feel that she's being told to NOT do something.

    It's a matter of respect though. On both sides.

    She should be flattered that you're miffed(jealous) about this other guy.

    No one said that it was going to be easy.

    Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Mar 18, 2011, 07:49 PM

    You had no choice but to be honest about what you felt, and if she holds that against you, then parting ways would end this drama. I mean its not your actions that caused this rift, its hers.
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
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    #4

    Mar 29, 2011, 12:02 AM
    If it something you feel that strongly about then you have to let her know but also try to compromise and come to an agreement e.g. maybe she can cut contact with him a little bit like only has contact with him once a month then that way you both get what you want. Anyway don't be jealous of I'm, your with her now, not him!!
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #5

    Mar 29, 2011, 03:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    But make no mistake, it's all in the delivery whenever we have these problems arise in our relationships. She , or no other woman I know of, wants to be made to feel that she's being told to NOT do something.
    What would be a good way to make such a delivery and get a good response?

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