[Ikikicat]

I'm the older sister and I have one younger brother. I love him dearly, but I can't help becoming sad and a bit angry when it seems that he's the favored child of my dad.
I may just be imagining it, but whenever I do something well, He never seems to care. But when I forget to do something not really important, he raises his voice and lectures me.
I hate seeing my little brother and my dad laughing together while I'm shut into my room, crying myself to sleep. I get A's in school, I try my best not the bother my parents, I don't hang out with the wrong sorts of people and yet everything I do never seems to be enough. He just gets angry and lectures about touchy subjects like my weight. What have I done wrong? I miss being a daddys girl. I miss having a dad that showed that he loved me.

[smoothy]

First thing to remember, things are not always as they might appear to be. Eventually you are going to learn that your parents do love you. And that sometimes other siblings might need more attention at times as have you.

Its real easy to view everything from the very narrow perspective of ones self. But as has been said... we are but a grain of sand on the beaches of the world.

You never gave your age... but I am assuming you are likely in high school. Perhaps even within a few years of graduating. Perhaps its an attempt of treating you more like an adult an less as a child to get you ready for independence.

Life can be pretty hard... and you will never have it as easy as you do now. And it can be really irresponsible of parents to turn their kids out into the world without any type of preparation.


Long story short... I can tell you horrific stories of bad parents that were told to me by people that actually lived through them.

If a little criticism is all you get... consider yourself fortunate. Lifes harder... and when you are on your own, that's going to be the least of your concerns. At least you are fed, housed, and have most of your needs attended to. Not all kids can say that.

[Ikikicat]

Thank you for your reply.
I love my parents dearly, and not a day goes by where I'm not thankful for all the things they do for me. I'm just a little shaken at how abruptly my father and I's relationship changed. We used to be really close and just recently it seems like he's giving me the cold shoulder. He also stopped going to his therapist lately, that could be contributing to this.
I would like to know if I did something wrong to make him act like this toward me. I love my dad, and I know he loves me, I just wish he would show it.
Once again, thank you for your reply!

[rockerchick_682]

I'm also the older sibling with a younger brother. I've felt the same way about their relationship and I've always summed it up to the fact that they are both male and I'm female. As I've gotten older I've realized that it's not that my dad cares any less about me, but there are less things that we can do together. I have no interest in playing video games, or manual work, or football. All things that my dad and my brother do together. My dad is a software engineer. Recently I started taking a computer programming course, and my dad has been helping me write programs. This is the first time that we've connected doing something that we both enjoy.

I don't care what anyone says, it's harder to be the oldest sibling because we are the ones that make all the mistakes while our younger siblings learn from them. So not fair ;).

I'm not sure if our situations are that similar, but I would suggest trying to talk to your dad and finding something that you both like to do together. If you're brother is 16, and you're older, sounds like you might be going off to college soon. Maybe your dad is sad about the change and is having a hard time dealing with his emotions.

[Fr_Chuck]

I learned something from my 4 grown boys, every one thought one of the other ones were the favorite, They each felt that more attention went to one of the other ones.

Most likely your brother feels the same