[BrittneyNicole4]

My boyfriend and I have been together just under a year (it will be 10 months on March 15 2011), and we are planning on moving into our own place in June.
Right now he is living with me at my parents' house, and working 50 miles away.
The problem is that my mom says that we have to be at least engaged before we can move in together "because it's the right thing".
I informed my boyfriend of this, and he said he can make that happen.
Also...
He kind of avoided the whole thing while we were talking about it.. But it seemed more like he was more embarrassed to talk about it than anything.
During the (almost) year we've been dating, we've talked about marriage, family, and moving in together since about 3 months in.
I know that seems ridiculous, but we felt like we loved each other way before we started dating.
So, I know he's going to do it at some point, but I just don't know when.
I've always known he was going to.
I'm just super nervous, because it's only been a year, and I don't want to be another one of the statistics.
I'm only 19 and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him, I just don't know if it would be the right thing?
Any advice?

[kctiger]

I know it's your mother's opinion, but it is also just an opinion. I am NEVER a fan of getting engaged before living with someone. Getting your own place together and living only off the food you two can provide, that changes the dynamic a bit. I think that most often it is wise to live together for awhile (with your parents doesn't count) to see just how much the two of you get along.

I don't know what the "right" thing would be, I just know that "right" and "smart" don't always coincide. I don't condone rushing marriage for the sake of tradition. 19 is an extremely young age to get married, especially after only dating someone for a year. A LOT of things can change in the next few years. I'm not saying that successful marriages haven't happened at that age, but it the odds aren't in your favor. May I ask why he lives at your parent's house?

[I wish]

What about a third option? Why doesn't he move out on his own and find his own place while you continue to build your relationship?

[talaniman]

Looks and sounds like a great plan... on paper, but the proof is in the reality of DOING!!

I think he should prove he is capable of living on his own, before you risk leaving your own home. That may save yourself some grief, otherwise it's a crap shoot.

[BrittneyNicole4]

Problem with him just moving on his own and me just staying is that, honestly, I'll pretty much be relying on him once that all comes around.
I'll be going, full time, to college and I already plan on having my hands full with that.
I wouldn't be able to do a job and the homework load I'm laying on myself.

I love living with him, and he's been trying to convince me to move out with him sooner.
It's just been the fact of graduating (I'm a year behind) and such.
Plus the fact that the car that I purchased will not be mine until I have my diploma in hand.
So I've been stuck staying at home for now.

It's not the matter of the moving out that's at hand really, it's the engagement and such.