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    zoraidajai22's Avatar
    zoraidajai22 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 10, 2011, 06:44 PM
    I messed up.. so how do I make it right and get her back
    I am 22 years old and I'm a lesbian. Now that the facts are out the way..

    This is my problem

    Me and my ex were together for about a year.. I was childish and I cheated on her... we have been broken up for about a year...

    Now we are on a friendship status...

    The problem is I'm still in love with her and she is still in love with me.

    I have done a lot of maturing and growing within the last year
    And I realized she is the only one for me.. I guess what they say is true in this case... "you don't realize what you have until its gone"

    She wants to be back with me too...
    But she's scared that I will just hurt her again...
    She's scared that I haven't changed...

    I was her first love

    Now my questions
    What do I do to prove I have changed?
    How do I show her?

    Please give me some advise!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 11, 2011, 02:04 AM
    Be honest with her.

    But don't wait around for some redemption, or some immediate answer from her.

    You may love her, but you can't assume anything. That's in your head.

    She's scared. I don't blame her. Actually, if I was her, I wouldn't be in a rush to get back with you. If at all. Especially after a year.

    Exs are exs. For whatever reason(s).

    Maybe you should move forward, prove to someone else that you are different.

    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Mar 11, 2011, 02:21 AM

    You broke her trust,that's a hard one to mend.

    I think you leave this in the past and move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 11, 2011, 11:44 AM

    Time and very good behavior can rebuild the trust, so be on your best behavior, but be aware she may never get over her fear of getting hurt again, nor ever fully trust you, or love you the same way.

    Back off, and don't push for what you want so hard, because you ruined what you had, and may never get it back, and sorry will never satisfy people you hurt.
    zoraidajai22's Avatar
    zoraidajai22 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Mar 12, 2011, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Be honest with her.

    But dont wait around for some redemption, or some immediate answer from her.

    You may love her, but you can't assume anything. Thats in your head.

    Shes scared. I dont blame her. Actually, if I was her, I wouldnt be in a rush to get back with you. If at all. Especially after a year.

    Exs are exs. For whatever reason(s).

    Maybe you should move forward, prove to someone else that you are different.




    I can't she is the only one I want
    I'm not assuming anything.. just what has come from her own mouth.
    She has told me over and over that she still does love me.. she's just scared..

    At night we talk on the phone... we even sleep on the phone
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Mar 13, 2011, 04:58 PM
    Take it slow, don't push.

    Regaining trust takes time. Like you said, you were her first & you betrayed her.

    Not a great first experience for her.

    If she decides she wants some commitment, let her tell you.

    Go about your own business, without the fear of losing her.

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