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    micheal2011's Avatar
    micheal2011 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:12 PM
    Can I trust my girl?
    I am married man and I met this woman who is married too and have two kids like me but the only difference is she has a bad husband who always push her down and abuse her mentally.

    We start as friends than we have an affair we both in love with each other, she start to tell me about her past that during her marriage she slept with two of her ex-boyfriend twice or three times.

    She used to go at night for drive after 11pm she have a lot of men friend in her face book.

    Some time we use to do stuff in a car I feel she done it before.
    Took me to insolated places to have sex and deep inside me I feel that she brought some body else there.

    The question in my head is always is she honest with me when she said that she did it three time in 15 tears or she lie, is she in love with me or she just play a game.

    She filing a divorce with her husband now and she said she want spend her life with me.

    How Can I trust Her Please help.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:18 PM

    Let me make sure I understand this right... you're both married? And both sneaking around each other's spouses backs? And you want to know if you can trust her?

    No, absolutely not. Not anymore than your wife can trust you or her husband can trust her. You both deserve each other though if that's the case.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:22 PM

    You are a married man? Then be with your wife, ONLY. What business is it that she has other men?

    So, the woman you are cheating WITH may be cheating on you? WOW, that's a surprise.

    What her husband does, or doesn't do, to, or with, her, is NONE of YOUR business.

    Where is YOUR WIFE in this picture?

    Does SHE know that she can't trust YOU?

    What about your children?

    What about the promises that you made to your wife?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #4

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:52 PM

    Your not married, but she is, can you trust her, probably not.

    Trust your gut, its telling you the truth.
    amir_t's Avatar
    amir_t Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:53 PM
    Our culture is totally different from yours.But I suggest you to examine her.Also I think it is good to speak with her last husband.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #6

    Mar 6, 2011, 01:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amir_t View Post
    Our culture is totally different from yours.But I suggest you to examine her.Also I think it is good to speak with her last husband.
    I have to disagree with speaking to her last husband. If he's already abusive towards her, that may only lead to more abuse. No sense in adding fuel to the fire. Best for both parties to do the right thing and stop sleeping around with people other than their spouses!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Mar 6, 2011, 03:15 PM

    No you can never trust a lying cheater, and that applies to both you lying cheaters.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #8

    Mar 6, 2011, 07:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by micheal2011 View Post
    some time we use to do stuff in a car I feel she done it before.
    took me to insolated places to have sex and deep inside me i feel that she brought some body else there.
    She most likely has...

    If she is cheating on her Husband with YOU, then what makes you think that she hasn't cheated with others in the past?

    I just can't fathom why people feel the need to cheat on their spouses. If you are not in love any more, or want another, then for crying out loud, just tell the other person.

    It's really hard for me to feel sorry for you or show any kind of sympathy as well as empathy when you're no better than she is.

    The first thing you should do is tell your poor wife that you committed adultery, then you should leave this other woman alone because she is MARRIED.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #9

    Mar 6, 2011, 09:32 PM

    I, too, disagree with the advice to contact her husband. Whether he is abusive, it is still not your place to talk to him about anything.

    I think the first thing you do is figure out whether you are married or not. If you aren't, why did you say that you are and use the phrase 'like me'?

    IF you really are single:

    She admits to cheating on her husband with two of her ex-boyfriends an uncertain number of times. Then she cheats with you. How big of a warning sign do you need?

    She tells you stories that engender sympathy (abusive husband), but her actions are not those of a woman afraid of her husband.

    IF she actually is married and does leave her husband, it should not be for another relationship. It should be because she needs to learn to be happy with and rely on herself instead of another person.

    If you want to carry her emotional baggage, that is your choice. It isn't like you don't and won't have a lot of your own with wondering who she is chatting up on FaceBook and if she is still having sex with her ex-husband. No matter what she says or wants, he will continue to be a part of her life because they do have to communicate to parent their children. Just like you have to communicate with the mother(s) of yours (or was that another bit of misinformation?)

    Be honest with yourself. You don't trust her nor do you have any reason to trust her. Let this relationship go and work on your relationship with yourself (and your children.) Stay away from married women unless she is your wife.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Mar 7, 2011, 03:58 AM

    I am married man and I met this woman who is married too and have two kids like me but the only difference is she has a bad husband who always push her down and abuse her mentally.
    Seems your wife has a bad husband too!

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