[cauin]

Hi, I was staying in an accommodation near university, and it closed down.. my parents wouldn't let me live near the univresity, and I'm not that organized, so in my final year, they paid for a place away from university it was my grandfathers money


So, I didn't bother going there because I didn't want it, it was totally wasted. And I've got no degree now. My grandfather has left my mother a lot of money that's how she threw money at a flat I didn't want

If I had a degree I could get a reasonable job. They pulled the rug under my feet in my final year. Is there any way I can sue my mother?

I told them I'd tell him what they/she was doing, and they told me not to tell him because I wasn't meant to know he was paying. He liked to be like the righteous man paying when nobody knew it was him. They manipulated me really.


His memory was going in his old age, sometimes he got frustrated when I spke to him, he said I should have told him, then when I told him they told me not to, he was angry with them but never spoke to them about that. One time he came round and I asked my parents about it in front of him, and my mother completely admitted that she just got that flat I didn't need to get me out of the house not to get me the degree. My grandfather was silent.


He paid for me to go to secondary school too

But he gave money to my mother to pay for it.

The situation has caused me to become depressed, and even going for a job interview would be a nightmare because I have to relive it explaining them why I don't have a degree. And without a degree, salaries are so much less.

[smoothy]

Grow up and get a life... its YOUR problem, not your mothers. Once you are 18 be thankfull for ANY help you do get. Its not required and she has to think about her old age.

If you have issues... take ownership of those issues... deal with those issues, get treatment for those issues, but don't try to blame others for those issues.

You want to go to college, get a loan... get a grant... get a job... thats your problem to pay for it. Not your mothers. You are an adult not a child.

I paid for my own college education because my parents couldn't. I never pitched a fit over it. As an adult you assume responsibility for your own life.

If you get help be thankful... if you don't... then don't blame others. Its only ONE stinking year... grow up and get a loan.

I paid for the entire thing. You can pay for one year.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, you are a jerk and need to grow up, you mom did help you by getting you the flat, so it was not the one you wanted and you would have to commute, big deal, You are the one to blame,
You want to live close, get a job and pay for it,

[cauin]

Listen. If my parents couldn't afford it and said so then I'd either not have gone, or I'd have paid myself and tried to do it that way. But that wasn't the case. And if my parents could afford it but refused, and I'd have known in advance, then I'd have either not gone, or worked and gone. But this situation was one where they gave me the impression that I was covered, and then pulled the rug from my feet. I would have preferred to know in advance and then make a decision either not doing the degree, or trying to do it while working.

[cauin]

I am slightly autistic and not organized and it's not so easy to manage a job and a degree. The flat was very near home anyway so I didn't bother moving into it, I stayed at home and commuted from there. But it was harder for me when living far. I couldn't manage myself properly that far away. If I had known my parents would do that then I'd have either not done it, or worked prior to starting the degree.

[smoothy]

Your parents AREN'T required to foot the bill for everything you want to do as an adult.

And they don't have to justify it. Besides... if you've never been on your own and was self supporting , then you really aren't in a position to judge what they can and can't afford.

Besides... taking ownership for your situation is part of being an adult... and it builds character, something you clearly need to do more of.

Big deal... you didn't know in advance... so go down to the bank... and take out a student loan to pay for the final year. Might take a few weeks at most.

And as an adult... again... you are respopnsible for everything. You aren't 12 anymore. Being mature means you think about these things. NOBODY is responsible for you now, but you.

Like I said before... You are an adult... as an adult YOU are responsible for your own life. Nobody can pull the rug out from under you as an adult... because its your responsibility in the first place. Not theirs. And any "HELP" you might get as an adult, will have conditions... and it can end at any moment. NOBODY is obligated to foot your bills as an adult. Be thankful for any help you get.

Sucks huh?. well, welcome to the real world, and being an adult. There are Billions of others in EXACTLY the same situation. Time to get away from the tit and take care of yourself. Starting with this.

[Fr_Chuck]

So I guess you needed to talk to your parents, and most likely your attitude is part of the reason they will not help you any more.. Yes, if you don't finish school you have one person to blame, YOU, no one else.

[cauin]

I am not passing blame, just explaining the situation. My father refuses to discuss it, and paid 1 year of rent for a flat I didn't want. It was my grandfather's money not his so maybe it didn't mean much to him. I tried to speak to him constantly One time /i spoke to him and he had tears in his eyes and said he was worry about what happened.. and that he made a mistake, but it's like that discussion never happened.. now he just says he doesn't make mistakes, and he refuses to discuss it. He won't even take a question like why he did what he did, he says he can't answer it he doesn't remember now. Even at the time when I was desperate and asking him he'd always say he's watching the football or he's eating his dinner. But this is all irrelevant. And this thing you bring up about throwing blame around all on me for example, is childish, and irrelevant.

[Synnen]

Are you KIDDING me?

YOU aren't organized, so it's your parents' fault you didn't finish your degree?

How about getting off your butt, going back, and finishing your degree NOW?

Seriously--grow up. My parents couldn't pay for college either. I am STILL paying off student loans almost 20 years later. Just because you didn't get to live where you wanted to doesn't give you the right to blame your parents.

It is YOUR fault you didn't finish college. If you tried to sue your parents for this, you'd be laughed out of court.

[J_9]

Time to grow up. Have you ever heard the term "never look a gift horse in the mouth?" Apparently not.

In REAL life we don't always get what we want, but have to be happy with what we have.

It's no wonder your parents won't front you any money. They tried to help you by paying for a flat for a year and you were such an ungrateful little brat you didn't stay there.

So you want to sue them for the bad choices YOU made in life? Really!

[smoothy]

Comment on Fr_Chuck's post

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I am not passing blame, just explaining the situation. My father refuses to discuss it, and paid 1 year of rent for a flat I didn't want. It was my grandfather's money not his so maybe it didn't mean much to him. I tried to speak to him constantly One time /i spoke to him and he had tears in his eyes and said he was worry about what happened.. and that he made a mistake, but it's like that discussion never happened.. now he just says he doesn't make mistakes, and he refuses to discuss it. He won't even take a question like why he did what he did, he says he can't answer it he doesn't remember now. even at the time when I was desperate and asking him he'd always say he's watching the football or he's eating his dinner. But this is all irrelevant. And this thing you bring up about throwing blame around all on me for example, is childish, and irrelevant.

Childish... have you actually read what YOU have wrote? You are whining and complaining because someone isn't paying for YOU to live where YOU want to live... or for all four years of school.

Big freaking deal... I spent 3 hours a day on a Greyhound bus round trip (hour and a half each direction) to go to college... You can hop a bus across town.

Too bad... you have a place to live... stop crying about it. Or pay for your own place. THere is no RIGHT to live next to party Central. You went to college to learn... not attend every party they have near campus.

YOU don't make demands of your parents... and its clear they are so fed up with your whining about what your entitled to they won't speak to you (I wouldn't either).

THEY didn't have to do anything once you turned 18. Be thankful they gave you what they have and stop whining about it not being enough.

You are an adult... if you want something then get a damn job and pay for it yourself like everyone else has to do.


Oh right... that means work. Like I said, welcome to the real world.

You have major adjustments to make, NOW. Ever hear the quote " You have champaign tastes but a beer budget"? Look it up. It so very much applies to you.

I really want a Porshe Cayman, but know what... nobodies going to give me one and I can't afford it on my salary, so I guess I have to do without one. What a novel concept. Earning what one gets.

I'm surprised they don't teach that in schools.

[cauin]

Listen, If you went to a doctor and got bad advice, but they did the best they could, then within reason, I think, you should accept it. And you t least share responsibility for taking the advice, you could have enquired elsewhere. And if it was bad advice you could have found it. Getting a second opinion, or researching about diseases. Though some things you can't do much about. One can learn to accept the drudgery of living in all manner of terrible situations, one way is to drop hope. But the fact is that quality of life suffers. This obviously bothers people that slip and have an accident, or take bad advice from a doctor, or get hit by a reckless driver when they cross the road. Also, I don't know why you think I should have moved into the flat , The flat was no help to me getting the degree, so why should I have stayed there? I was in the same boat staying at home and commuting, and I did.

[cauin]

What do you think the justice system is for ? People are wronged, and the justice system can sometimes allow for that wrong to be somewhat corrected. The person that is wronged describes it, you call it "whining" because you are childish. And this is not some small thing. People carelessly slip on a slippery floor and don't know how to fall properly and they hurt themselves and sue, I think they should've noticed the floor was slippery, but maybe some minds aren't capable of that. If it was me, I wouldn't sue in that situation because I'd put it down to me being careless. By your logic you could call anybody's case "whining". That's not how the justice system works, you should know that better than me.

[J_9]

You weren't wronged in any way, shape or form. You made decisions now you have to live with the consequences of your decisions.

[smoothy]

Comment on smoothy's post

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What do you think the justice system is for ? People are wronged, and the justice system can sometimes allow for that wrong to be somewhat corrected. The person that is wronged describes it, you call it "whining" because you are childish. And this is not some small thing. People carelessly slip on a slippery floor and don't know how to fall properly and they hurt themselves and sue, I think they should've noticed the floor was slippery, but maybe some minds aren't capable of that. If it was me, I wouldn't sue in that situation 'cos i'd put it down to me being careless. By your logic you could call anybody's case "whining". That's not how the justice system works, you should know that better than me.

What a pompus ***...

Grow up crybaby... I have an 8 year old Nephew that shows more maturity than you have in this thread. YOU are the only childish person posting in this thread.

YOU aren't entitled to a free ride in life, PERIOD, END OF STORY, EVER... get a damn job and grow up. YOU are an adult... You get a job and pay for what you want, or you do without.

You can't sue because someone didn't give you something you aren't entitled to in the first place. Where in the hell did you ever get the idea you could.

Are you really 14 and telling lies about the rest... because NO way could someone so clueless have made it through three years of college.

Someone NOT paying your rent in a place YOU demand, or paying for YOUR college has NOTHING to do with slipping on a floor.

God, grow up and stop whining... its no damn wonder your father and grandfather won't talk to you. And cut you off.

Christ... I suppose you are upset you have to do your own laundry too?


I'd be surprised if your parents don't end up disowning you, changing the locks, or moving and not telling you where.

[cauin]

You could say the same thing about somebody that crosses the road and gets hit by a car. They made the decision to cross the road, and they have to live with it.

[joypulv]

I think you should sue, and come back and tell us all what happened.
Maybe your mother will countersue just to make it more interesting.
After all, you wasted her inheritance on both schools so far.
And why did you let your parents go looking for flats instead of finding one yourself?
'Disorganized' enough to not do any of this bur organized enough to pass some years of college?
'Slightly autistic' is an excuse for... what exactly?
If you have Aspergers, say so, and maybe apply for disability. You do sound out of touch with how life works.

[J_9]

Comment on J_9's post
You could say the same thing about somebody that crosses the road and gets hit by a car. They made the decision to cross the road, and they have to live with it.

Are you on drugs? I have to ask because you make no sense whatsoever.

[AK lawyer]

...
if I had a degree I could get a reasonable job. ...

Not necessarily. I wish it were that simple.

[smoothy]

I think this is really a Troll, because NOBODY is that stupid, that arrogant, and that clueless.