[youneverknow]

I have had the strangest friendhip? FWB? Relationship? With a guy I ran into after 10 years unexpectedly. It was awesome the first year, than gradually things just started changing. We were never in a committed relationship although, we fight like an old married couple about the silliest things. I know that he is dating someone, but in the past he always found time for me. I had to move for work so I don't go home but maybe two weekends a month. The last time I saw him was New Years Eve. He always returns my phone calls, text etc. and almost two weeks ago (the last time we spoke) we had a good conversation. He called me because my text to him was basically saying I guess he wanted me to go away since all he does these days is ignore me. So we spoke about that.. for over an hour. He asked me if I was coming in town, and I said yes but honestly I haven't been back in a couple weeks.
After our conversation, I decided to go MIA. Its been years since I backed off, let him breathe. 11 days... and Im really wanting to text him. I just don't want to make him think I am ignoring him. My goal is to get things right again between us because he means a lot to me. Any advice?

[talaniman]

Whatever happen to straight talk and not playing silly games? That's what communications is about, then you stop wondering.

[southamerica]

Do you want a committed relationship with him? It looks like you have a long history with him and to use a favorite saying of mine: you need to poo or get off the pot.

I know you think you're in control here, but trust me-going MIA and then coming back and then going MIA and coming back isn't being in control. When a guy WANTS you and WANTS to love you, you will know it because he will make that very clear. I kissed a lot of toads before I realized that one (oh! Another saying!).

If you're okay with the random hook-up dynamic, then by all means keep on going. If you want something solid and committed, you're barking up the wrong tree.

I'm not saying he doesn't care about you, but you've given him plenty of opportunity to make a move romantically and it's not happening. Taking your heart off the market for him doesn't mean you can't be his friend anymore-it may even make everything better!

Good luck with whatever you're looking for!

[youneverknow]

I agree with both of you. It is hard though, because I care so much and have for many years. You are right, going MIA will not help. Although, he is one that likes space. I guess I was hoping that if I backed off things could get more laid back again as they were a few years back. Thanks for replying any advice is appreciated!

[vanheart]

"we fight like an old married couple about the silliest things."

Good thing that you aren't married.

Go about your business. Like you were doing for the past 10 years.

FWB? Doesn't seem like either.

Just a fling.