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helpdivorce · Feb 27, 2011, 06:01 AM

My dad is from Italy and he came here 20 years ago to work and has since opened his own business etc and worked ever since to provide for his family. My mother has worked on and off very little for minimum wage and has barely contributed to anything. I hate her and I don't want to live with her and since I am nearly 18 will be moving out soon. She has left my father with no house or no ability to buy a new house after working for all of his life because she wants all of his money. They always said that the working and him never being there was for us and all of the house and the properties were going to be mine my brothers and my sisters. Is there a way that we can get the house transferred into my name? Or into mine and my siblings names so neither are entitled to any money out of the house just the house itself?

tickle · Feb 27, 2011, 06:15 AM

You are basically explaining that seeing as both your parents have worked hard, raised kids, provided schooling, clothing, and food, they should not be entitled to anything in their senior years... just a house to live in. Your mom may have had an on and off low paying job, what does that matter? She worked while bringing up kids whilst providing extra income. Don't you see it that way at least?

I don't think there is any way you can subversibly have the house transferred to your name et al. However, you could buy them out. Do you and your brothers and sisters have the money to buy the property to have it your name? Can't you wait until you are left with everything legally after they both go?

I hope you are seeing all of this the wrong way.

I am glad my only son appreciates the sacrifices I made along the way so he could have a good education. I can tell you that he doesn't want my house until I am gone.
Tick

joypulv · Feb 27, 2011, 06:43 AM

They always said it would be yours WHEN THEY ARE DEAD.
But they can change their minds. They can give it away to someone else entirely if they want. They can change a will with their last dying breath. There is no inherent birthright.
I understand that you don't like your mother and are sorry that she is suing the pants off your dad.
But it is none of your business. All you can do is be supportive of your dad, and maybe help him in his business if you aren't already. Life is unfair.
So no, you can't change the deed to the house. The people whose names are on the deed are the only ones who can.

Jake2008 · Feb 27, 2011, 07:16 AM

You sound very ungrateful, selfish, bitter, and cold in your question.

What's next to get what you want, a little arsenic in the breakfast cereal? Speed things up a little bit so you can have a house?

You aren't entitled to anything you didn't earn. You didn't earn, through your own hard work, enough money to buy your own house, so somehow you feel justified in having a house that your parents own, that they purchased through their own blood sweat and tears. All the while I might add, but obviously raising an ungrateful child in the process.

What makes you feel so entitled.

You said you will be moving out, and away from your mother that you hate, as you say. I think you're in for a rude awakening when, and if, you are forced to provide your own way in this world. Maybe part time work is all you'll be able to get- try to imagine what you have now, reduced to 10% when you are on your own.

Or, follow in your father's footsteps and move to a new country where you don't know the language. Work your fingers to the bone to establish yourself, and provide enough money to raise children in the process. It's too bad some of your father's gumption wasn't inherited in your character.

Bottom line, nobody owes you anything. Including your parents.

You have to earn what you need, yourself. Just like the rest of us.

helpdivorce · Feb 27, 2011, 07:52 AM

I've been working since I was 16 and I pay for everything myself so do not call me ungrateful. It is not that I want the house it is that I do not agree that my dad has worked so hard just to have it all taken away from the ungrateful ***** who is my mother. She has fended off him for most of her life and expects it to be handed to her. I want her to be the one to live like the rest of us and be able to work herself to get what she wants instead of using family tax credit and whatever single mother type benefits you get that she gets now which is possibly about the same amount of money that my dad makes working a 60-70 hour work week and she spends it on herself on clothes and pandora bracelets and holidays and whatever else and then still has the nerve to moan she has no money... if you have no money for your kids and your house you do not spend £400 on a bracelet and buy £200 french connection dresses in 3 different colours. I never once mentioned I wanted either of them dead, I just want to know if it can be transferred into the kids name to prevent my dad being left with nothing.

helpdivorce · Feb 27, 2011, 07:55 AM

And she didn't provide extra income and with a large age gap I've looked after my siblings more than what she has done so no I don't believe she worked hard to be entitiled to anything. This isn't just a mere hating of my mother like many teenagers do this is a unified opinion of her that most of the family have including extended family like her own mother and my grandmother you don't know the half of what she has done to me so please do not judge like that

tickle · Feb 27, 2011, 09:01 AM

We don't know your whole story and there is no need for you to explain.

You explained enough in your original post. No, there is no way you can change the deed to the house into your own name. However, if you feel so strongly about your situation, then I suggest you put out money and hire a lawyer.

Tick

joypulv · Feb 27, 2011, 10:29 AM

Sadly, I don't think hiring a lawyer is going to help you. The divorce lawyers probably duked it out as much as it's ever going to be. And it can even get worse. Many a spouse who gets the house and lots of cash then remarries and gives everything to the new spouse or even a new set of kids. So.. be prepared, help your dad grow his business and dream about earning it all back for him.

Your original question was worded so bluntly that it made you sound awful at first.

tickle · Feb 27, 2011, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Sadly, I don't think hiring a lawyer is going to help you. The divorce lawyers probably duked it out as much as it's ever going to be. And it can even get worse. Many a spouse who gets the house and lots of cash then remarries and gives everything to the new spouse or even a new set of kids. So.. be prepared, help your dad grow his business and dream about earning it all back for him.

Your original question was worded so bluntly that it made you sound awful at first.

By hiring a lawyer, OP will probably find out that what she wants done, cannot be done.

Tick

JudyKayTee · Mar 3, 2011, 08:03 AM

If the divorce is in process NO ASSETS can be transferred.

And, yes, the "entitlement" issue says volumes.

What does the mother "fended" off the father mean?

Jake2008 · Mar 3, 2011, 01:37 PM

To HelpDivorce,

PLEASE read the rules of the forum. It is not polite, or appropriate to give someone a negative rating because you simply disagree with an opinion stated.

Such as you did with my opinion.

I have reported the post's negative rating, as an inappropriate.

If you don't like an OPINION, simply move on.

southamerica · Mar 3, 2011, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by helpdivorce

and she didnt provide extra income and with a large age gap i've looked after my siblings more than what she has done so no i don't believe she worked hard to be entitiled to anything. this isnt just a mere hating of my mother like many teenagers do this is a unified opinion of her that most of the family have including extended family like her own mother and my grandmother you don't know the half of what she has done to me so please do not judge like that

Helpdivorce- We really want to help people here, so try to be a little more conscientious of the forum rules, and we won't have to run into the rating issue again.

As has been already stated, there isn't much you can do to take anything away from your mother while she's still alive. If she and your father are going through a divorce, all of the assets will be settled in those proceedings. I can understand that you want to see the house et al in your father's hands, but that is between your mother and father-regardless if you're 18 or not. The items bequeathed to you in a will are not going to be effective and will hold no weight until the will is active, and that's just the way of it.

I'm sorry you and your family are dealing with a divorce.