Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    heartbreak2014's Avatar
    heartbreak2014 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 23, 2011, 12:46 PM
    I thought I loved him... but I don't know if I just.. love being loved by someone?
    Okay, so we've been friends for over a year, and have been dating for 7 months. We're in a long distance relationship and will be for awhile if we stay together(school and stuff) and I KNOW he's crazy in love with me, and I tell him I love him too. But.. if any other guy asked me out I'd break up with him and date this other guy. And I'd feel completely horrible about it but I want a real relationship, and I know I sound sefish but I just can't take I anymore. He still has a lot to learn, he grew up wayyyy different from I did and has/had a much better life and family and friends and we're.. different. He's careful and I'm risky, I love adventure, he plays it safe. I love to be loud and have fun, and he just wants to keep me safe. And he's just.. perfect. He treats me perfectly and I know if we were together in real life then we'd be perfect. But we're not and.. I don't know what to do. My heart is telling me to let him know how I feel, but my mind doesn't want to hurt him, and I think I just want that feeling of knowing I'm loved by someone. Any advice? Thanks in advance
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Feb 23, 2011, 12:53 PM

    I think you want a "sure thing" and not be boyfriendless.

    Why be "exclusive"? Date all sorts of guys. Have fun. That's how you figure out what works for you and how you find the best fit.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 23, 2011, 01:18 PM

    If you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, then you are using him (as a safety net, if nothing else) until something better/closer comes along. That is not good for either on of you.

    Which do you think would hurt less:

    1. Telling him the truth and letting him go to find someone who wants to be with him (even if it is long distance.)

    Or

    2. Dumping him when someone closer to you asks you out or you end up cheating on him because you still don't want to hurt him by telling him the truth (and what he doesn't know won't hurt him, or will it?)

    You are very different people and, while opposites can attract, a relationship between opposites takes a lot of work. A long distance relationship takes a lot of work. They also take a lot of trust. While he may trust you to stay faithful, I don't think you trust yourself.

    Be kind to both of you and let go now before you cause a larger mess.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I thought he still loved her? [ 5 Answers ]

Well, it's a long story. For short it all happened within a year. I met this amazing person. The first guy in my life. His story: He was a very smart, well educated man. Now he's a doctor. He was in love with this girl. They had been together all their youth life. And then came a time when her...

First she loved me, now I love her! [ 5 Answers ]

Hello to all and please excuse my english errors, I'm from Bulgaria, Eastern Europe which is not an english-speaking country :) I'm in a pretty difficult situation right now, so I decided to write here, with the hope that someone could give me a useful advice. Here's my story in short. Exactly...

I thought I loved her she wants to make me happy bu I have doubts [ 6 Answers ]

She wants to make me happy but I have doubts I seem to think there is no spark no future , she sees a whole lifetime of a future , I kind of want to break up, but don't want to hurt her, feel like I'm toofar in to turn back, please help , ihave good intentions .and am a good man

I thought he loved me [ 3 Answers ]

OK me and my boyfriend were going on a date and we had a great time he said he loved me and I said OK he asked me why I didn't say anything back and I told him I wasn't ready so he said OK I will wait then I ask are you sure he said ill wit till the end of the earth for you and I said OK so the...


View more questions Search