[heartorhead]

I'm 21 and I get bored with relationships easily... Its like I want someone so bad and I get them but then a week from then I lose interest and its over. I hate this , its not that I'm not looking to settle down because I'm dying to but I cant... is it too much to ask.. for someone to be intresting..

[DoulaLC]

Why do you want to settle down at this time? Maybe you are more interested in the chase and the excitement of a new relationship than you are in having an exclusive relationship right now. There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to keep your options open.

Might be that you are not quite sure yet just what it is that you are looking for and you need to date a bit more until it feels right.

Sooner or later someone will come along that piques your interest and keeps it as well. Try to enjoy getting to know different people for now until that person comes along.

[heartorhead]

I just want to settle down , I want to have a husband and kids and live that life. I really want that and always have and I see where your going with what your said but its not really about the chase , I've dated a lot but not because I want to date and date and date, I'm tierd of it honestly its pointless to me now, it just happenes. I use to Want someone so bad and then I'd have them but they bore me and next thing you know it I'm intrested in someone else. I don't mean for it to happen , it just does. But it never last because I just lose interest. I know what I want but its like... no one matched up to me. Its frustrating actually.

[DoulaLC]

Are your expectations realistic? Are you giving these guys enough time to really get to know them?

It's curious that you find them interesting enough to want to go out with them in the first place, but lose interest so quickly. Maybe what you think you want (as you see in the guys you want so badly) is not what you really want or need (hence you lose interest).

How fast are things moving when you do "get them"? Maybe you are moving too quickly and not enough time is being given to see if something more will develop.

[heartorhead]

They don't give me a reason why to give more time to get to know. If I lose interest that's it, that's it.You lose my interest..
I like them at first , because over the obviouse things if I don't know them yet. The way they look and feelings drawn for some reason. I give it time , I try and get to know them and see if they get to knowing a deeper me . Which I don't wear my heart on my sleeves when it comes to that. I give it a chance , eve when I start to feel the slight discomfort and pointlessness with being with the person.
There all the same , either too needed , too nice , or too mch of an jerk , or too desperate to be with me which is really
Unattractive to me. Bores me.
I want to wait and see if something more will develop but I just can't stand being near them holding there hand or just being with them and kissing them. I can't try to like someone if I'm not intrested .

[Wondergirl]

Then stay away from them and relationships. Develop yourself by going to school or, if you are in school, do well in all your classes. Become a volunteer at a hospital or nursing home or animal shelter or library. Meet all kinds and ages of people and give of yourself for the good of your community.

I think it's time you think about someone and something other than yourself.

[heartorhead]

I do , do well in all my classes and am actually volunteering at an animal shelter because I need that as a requirement to the join the a.s.p.c.a .

[Wondergirl]

Absolutely do not date anyone for six months. Learn a new skill or take up something you have always wanted to do, like play the guitar or write short stories. Figure out who YOU are. Find yourself.

[heartorhead]

I write stories, I dance , play piano , draw , read . But yea , I am going to stop dating for a while.. sucks though.

[huno]

there all the same , either too needed , too nice , or too mch of an jerk , or too desperate to be with me which is really
Unattractive to me. Bores me.

That's pretty telling... and it's pretty normal. Most girls get bored with guys that are too into them.

Maybe that's the problem: you've just been unlucky and wound up with guys that practically give themselves away to you.

Would you say most of the guys you date are too eager to be with you, or too "jerky?" ("jerky's" probably not the most elegant way to describe guys that act like jerks, but it's early in the morning and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I don't feel like correcting my own grammar :P ).

[southern_raised]

Sounds like your addicted to the thrill of finding a knew guy, that's all.

I wouldn't say stop dating or flirting because sometimes that's just how people are wired. After all, men and women are not that different when it comes down to it, so don't beat yourself up that your not like "all the other girls" who just want to have babies and build households.

But I will tell you this from experience, its not that you are a flirt or a tease or bored easy, its why you are those things. Let me elaborate.

I am a horrible flirt. I get all riled up when I meet a new guyand he's giving me the eye, even though I am in a committed relatioship. If he flirts, I can't help but flirt back. The same thing goes with girls. I like the play, the rush of feeling wanted and of making others feel wanted, too. I never took the advances to heart or wanted to actually do anything with them, I just wanted to play the game, so to speak. Then after the first 48 hours when I could guess his comebacks I would drop him and roll on to the next thrill.

If that is you, then its OK. You just have to find a way to generate those feelings that flirting and hooking up give you by yourself. You have to give yorself the rush of wanting, of feeling beautiful, not just knowing your hot or sexy or that boys respond to you.

Once you learn how to feel those feelings wihtout a man to generate them for you, you'll stop roving. Till then, enjoy yourself and make sure that you are honest with the guys you hook up with. Tell them you don't plan to get emotionally involved and don't let them either. Don't prey on the cute needy type, you'll break their hearts and karma is a *****. If you drink, don't drink and flirt at the same time. Its never good to mix drugs. :)

[talaniman]

Your choice in guys is lousy, if all you can choose are boring guys. Maybe its you who are boring, and not them. Is that possible??

[heartorhead]

Comment on huno's post

Yea , way too eager. Jerky : players , immature , rude. That's my opinion on it,

Comment on southern_raised's post

I do want to have babies and build households. And I get no thrill from finding a new guy , I get no thrill when guys flirt with me. I usually don't flirt back and just let them do all the flirting.
I do love myself , and don't need anyone to tell me nice things to appreciate myself.
I don't cave attention or love from different guys once I have one.
When I get out of a relationship , it isn't for no one else that catches my eye. It's for myself.

Comment on talaniman's post

No .
Any girl would be perfectly content and happy with the guys I date.
They are wonderful but I always get bored no matter how wonderful they are.

[talaniman]

So that's it, no guy is good enough for you, but any girl would be happy with them.

You are so full of crap. Sorry its not them its YOU!! And its simple you have to find a guy who is as arrogant, and has as big of a head, as you do. Then you can have someone to share the rest of your life telling each other how wonderful you are. That's sounds pretty boring to me.

[ISneezeFunny]

I have a friend JUST like yourself. She dates guys and then starts avoiding them around week 2 - 3... then dumps them week 4.

It's a cycle.

I don't think it's the guys she's picking... sure, she's dated a few jerks and she's also dated a few TOO NICE guys... but she's also dated guys who are very good for her, but no dice.

I suggest to you what I suggest to her... find time for yourself right now. Don't date. Just be friends with people. There's nothing wrong with going out, meeting new people, and just being friendly. Make sure, however, that your intentions are clear, because us guys are idiots and when a pretty girl shows some interest, we dive for it.

So enjoy yourself, you're still young (I'm 24, and I'm saying that to you!) and there's still a lot of time.

I really think you need to "find yourself" which is very cliché sounding, but it's also very true.

[southern_raised]

Sounds like your just an average girl, then. All relationships change over time. If any girl would be happy with your guys, and your not craving any thrills then nothings seems up. Unless you have problems with being honest with yourself about yourself.

So kick back. Your in a good way and probably just haven't met the one just yet.

But remember that even then, the relationship will change, slow down and become more settled and predictable. Boring is a perception, not a reality. Change your outlook, not your date.

[heartorhead]

Comment on talaniman's post

I realize it's me, but I don't think I'm superior then anyone . Arrogant , I don't think so.But your entitled to your opinion , if that's the way you see it. Ktb.

Comment on ISneezeFunny's post

Thanks , I guess that's what I need. You've been most helpful here . Thank you

[ISneezeFunny]

I don't think it's because you're arrogant or you think you're superior, I honestly think it's because you yourself want something, but have no idea what kind you want.

It's like me wanting ice cream. I want ice cream, but I have no idea what flavor, if I want a scoop in a bowl or if I want a cone or a sundae, I don't even know what brand, etc.

I hope that made sense. Which is why I said that you should be alone, trying to "find yourself."

[heartorhead]

It did... I have a good idea of what I want but I guess I really don't then. Thanks for your help , I get what you mean .

[mmresd]

Try hanging out with different types of groups?