[nickie007]

I joined this organization and made friends with an amazing woman and this friend of mine. We used to hang out together and we did have some real good time... as time flew, my best friend got married and got busy with her life. And I was getting over a bad breakup and trying to get a hold on my personal life too... that's when I got close to this friend as she helped me out to buck up those days... She'd tag me along wherever she goes and she'd insist me to stay at her place (she lives with her parents)... I am a very private person and I'd usually not stay at Any One's place no matter how close they are... but when this girl used to insist, I couldn't deny as I thought it would be better if I am not left alone those days and also because I didn't want to be impolite to her... but as days went by, I realized that I made a mistake... I got close to her parents and her sister... She wouldn't like that... She wanted me all by herself... and wouldn't like it even if I talk to her mom or talk from their point of view when she fights with them. She acts weird when am hanging out with other friends of mine and she would even judge them though she NEVER met them personally... Let me list out few points that made feel real uncomfortable with her:

1) If I don't pick her call, she calls continuously till I answer, or even try my land phone if am not answering my cell phone.
2) If I tell her that I've plans with my other friends, the same day she'll call me up making reasons that I should be meeting her ASAP as she needs my help.
3) Whenever we meet she makes it a point to nag on some incidents that went wrong weeks or years back and how rude I was to her.
4) She even hates it when I go for any activities without informing her and says if I would have informed her about it she could joined me too.. (well That's what am scared of!! I find myself running away from her)
5) If I ever ask help to her, she uses that chance to hit a conversation on how pathetic I'm to her and how I hit her personality in a negative way...
6) I help another girl in our office to get a make over done and she takes her out the VERY NEXT week to get a medical checkup done.

This woman has a big circle of friends and she behaves like this ONLY to me. I find it really emotionally exhausting to be with her... I find it totally weird that she nags about me all the time but still would want to hang out with me...

Yesterday she brought the worst in me... She offered help to ride my new vehicle till my home. The moment we went to a restaurant after that to have food, she starts on with her nagging scene about the way I treated her some weeks back... Neither do I remember the incident, nor do I remember how I made her feel... then I listen to her for 4 HOURS till I had to attend a class... I was getting late and I asked her to drop me back home.. She nags through out the way till I lose my patience and yell at her to SHUT UP!! So we reach home and then I drop the plan to go to class as I was emotionally stressed out. This woman comes to my room and uses that opportunity to nag more about me... I lose my mental balance, I yell at her to get out from my house and she doesn't. I SLAP her more than once and still she sits there denying to go... Finally when I went out of my room leaving her behind, she leaves to her home... and then her mom calls me asking what went wrong between us as she was crying through out the night... I feel real guilty about slapping her but what I don't understand is : Is she being kiddish? Or weird? Or is it that I don't know how to handle such situations? She's 4 years elder to me and am shocked to see her behaving like that...

[Devorameira]

She appears to want to control everything about you. I personally wouldn't want to be around anyone like that.

You need to be honest and tell her how you feel about her behavior and if it doesn't stop you need to drop out of this friendship.

Friends are supposed to be there for you, not nag you into doing whatever they want without any regard for what you're feeling.

[talaniman]

You don't sound like friends so stop acting like you are.

[answerme_tender]

Listen you allowed her to cross the lines of friendship to CONTROL. You need to go NO CONTACT until she can understand the proper boundries, that you were JUST FRIENDS and AT NO time were you EVER planning on it changing.

May I also take this opportunity to suggest that if there comes a point were someone is crossing the line of inappropriate behavior and you have asked her to leave and she refuses, then INSTEAD of resorting to point of were YOU ASSUME its okay to physically slap a woman, you simply call security at your dorm area or DIAL 911. I don't know about other people but I personally believe you appear more of a man calling for assitance to get her out then by slapping her several times!!

[nickie007]

Thank you all for your feedback on this... I think I need to make something clear here... I'm a woman and a straight one at that... (my bad! I should have mentioned that in my profile details before posting this up) That's why I find her behaviour very disturbing... I can't explain the situation to anyone even if I'm calling them for assistance to get her out of my place... I'm wondering if other women face such a situation with their female friends...

[Jake2008]

You sound like if she nagged you enough to jump off a cliff you would.

Why do you allow this.

There is nothing healthy about this relationship whatsoever. You already know her to be totally dependent upon you, for whatever reason, and you continue to let her up the ante to maintain that control over you. She shows behaviour toward you that is clearly abusive; would you allow this from a boyfriend, sibling, parent, boss?

My advice to you is to contact her via email, not in person, and tell her that the friendship has come to an end. Do not give her hope by telling her that you will miss her, or enjoyed your time together, or you'll never get rid of her. Tell her you are no longer interested in having ANY relationship with her, and that you wish her well. Short and simple.

Then, block her email, phone number, etc. and stick to your guns. You will feel an enormous relief if you are truly committed to getting your life back. She will recover, and move on to find another victim.

Be prepared for her to be even more demanding by wanting answers damnit!! She WILL try, and you have to be prepared for that. Stick to your plan. NO contact. Not her, her family, or other friends. Because you have allowed her so much leeway into your life and have accommodated her version of a friendship, the only way you can recover from this, is to not allow her into your life in any way, shape, or form. You can't make it better, or easier for her by yet more talking, because you run the risk of it never being over if you do.

Stick up for yourself, and stop being a patsy here.

[answerme_tender]

Nickie,


Iam sorry I presumed you were a man.

So lets hit this nail on the head so to speak---have you seen the movie ROOMMATE!! You need to stay completely away from this woman just as Jake advised!! Don't let her sucker you in to any type of friendship or even acquaintance of relationship.

Take care

[martinizing2]

Nobody should ever face a situation like that.

Unless you're into S&M what good is this friendship?

Friends do not slap friends male or female.

A person who makes you feel like this and acts they way she does should be eliminated from your life.

What are you waiting for? Run.

[nickie007]

Thanks a lot folks! I already dropped her from my friend list... :)

[Jake2008]

Good for you!! When somebody like this starts sucking the life out of you, it's time to quit. Very happy you made that call.

[Enigma1999]

QUOTE by nickie007;
I SLAP her more than once

That right there makes me mad!

You shouldn't put your hands on anybody.

You know that...

...

This sounds like a love sick relationship here. Very toxic.

You two are better off not being friends. Call it quits before it gets worse and you do something that WILL put you in jail.

Calling the police would have been a better solution if she refused to leave. Not roughing her up...

Leave her alone and don't contact her any more.

Good Luck.

[nickie007]

Yes... I feel guilty for that part too... Think I lost my cool completely by then... when I thought about it a bit later I felt ashamed of my action... anyway, like someone already said, its better to be away from such friends who could drive you nuts like that...