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    MrBigLou's Avatar
    MrBigLou Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 9, 2011, 10:32 AM
    My wife filed for divorce, I didn't want a divorce, I still loved her, I asked why?
    I didn't want a divorce because I didn't want to be away from my family , and I still loved my wife, I pleaded with her to not do this and asked her why , she told me the reason was cause of " how I used to treat her " , I wasn't a saint when we first got married , but I wasn't that bad . I never abused her , never cheated , I was married for 18 years , and I changed for the better after maybe 8 years for her , like she wanted , but noticed that she started to push me away , I change my life and started to be with my family more and fell in love with my wife again , and I notticed that she. Didn't like that I was like that after all , but I changed to be for just my wife and kids ' now she stopped loving me she said , so herecomes divorce , and said cause the way I used to treat her , was that an excuse for her to get divorced ?
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
    		  
    #2

    Feb 9, 2011, 10:42 AM

    If I may ask.. What was it that you did to her?

    How did you mistreat her?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #3

    Feb 9, 2011, 11:50 AM

    There was obviously something that went on that was a real problem for her.
    What did you do to her, how were you treating her.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #4

    Feb 9, 2011, 03:24 PM

    Come on Lou, you are going to have to open up here if you want us to be able to truly understand what could cause her so much pain as to leave the marriage.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
    		  
    #5

    Feb 9, 2011, 04:02 PM

    So very sorry Lou... it is painful.

    It could be that she simply has changed over the years and no longer wants to be married. Perhaps whatever happened in the past was something she was unable to get over and it has bothered her ever since. Maybe you thought things were going better and she didn't let you know otherwise.

    People divorce for a variety of reasons... sadly it is sometimes just simply about growing apart.

    You could ask her about considering counseling together, or a trial separation at least instead of divorce. Let her know how much you love her and are willing to put forth the effort to rebuild the relationship with her. Then it will be up to her whether she wants to give it a try.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #6

    Feb 9, 2011, 06:44 PM

    As hard as it will be making adjustments to what she wants for whatever reason, you still will have kids who need a good dad.
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