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whatdoidonow · Feb 5, 2011, 07:10 PM

I was dating a man six months. Early on in the relationship he emailed me at work & say he couldn't wait to see me, the following day he emailed me & said he was going back to his ex-girlfriend. When that didn't work out, he again emailed me & asked would I give him a second change.
I gave him a second change, but it created a lot of insecurities within me. I have strong feelings for him, but he never expresses any for me. He is very self centered, and wants his needs met, while he is not meeting any of mine. I do must of the running back & forth in the relationship, he seldom comes my way.
I talked to him about how I was feeling used, but still nothing changed. I've pulled away & now he haven't talked in over a week (he have always talked daily). I guess the relationship is over & I'm wondering if it is in my best interest to just let it go and find someone who is able to make me feel loved instead of used.
This still hurts a lot. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.

friend4u178 · Feb 5, 2011, 07:17 PM

I think you move on and thank your lucky stars your finally rid of him , sounds to me like he only used you to fill the void of losing his previous girlfriend.

Don't let someone use you as an alternative.

ken007nielsen · Feb 5, 2011, 07:40 PM

Friend4u178 is spot on, count yourself lucky that you got rid of him. I can imagine it's given you a lot of grief with him only being concerned about himself, and yes he was indeed using you..

cathlarson72 · Feb 5, 2011, 07:48 PM

I am so sorry he did this to you. I think he's undecisive and that is not good in a relationship, because it lets you hanging there. I hate that too. Like you said, he's self-centered... so he might not change his aspect of his personality. Maybe you can just wait a bit more to see... but don't build a lot of expectations around him (I have been in this situation myself and it sucks). Get on with your life... you deserve to have someone who will treasure and be honest with you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. :-)

ken007nielsen · Feb 5, 2011, 07:51 PM

I seriously disagree with the maybe you can just wait and see.. Someone that sends somebody and email, and is acting like a arse.. should not be dating any loving person.

grammadidi · Feb 5, 2011, 08:10 PM

You say you have strong feelings for this person yet you describe him as someone who does not make you feel secure or loved; is very self-centred; doesn't express any feelings for you; does not meet your needs; gives you the feeling of being used. I really think you need to examine why you feel you even care? Do you think that little of yourself that you can care for someone who treats you so poorly?

YES!! Let it go!! Then do some deep soul searching to figure out why you feel you don't deserve a decent man in your life. Take your time before you enter into another relationship. Figure out what you need to feel loved, secure, cared for and important. Then don't settle for anything less!

Do yourself a favour and DO NOT respond to any form of contact from this fellow again. It serves no real purpose.

Hugs, Didi

talaniman · Feb 5, 2011, 10:35 PM

The only mistake you made was taking him back after it didn't work with the other girl, who was his ex. You can't have a relationship with a jack rabbit, and that's what he is.

vanheart · Feb 5, 2011, 11:18 PM

Stop emailing.

Rid yourself of this.

Hes a user.

"He is very self centered, and wants his needs met, while he is not meeting any of mine."

So why do whnt that?

That's all you need to know. Don't even try. He isn't your guy.
You may think he's cool, but he's not.

Only wusses do that.

Show him who's cool. Never speak to him again.

Justice1872 · Feb 6, 2011, 06:12 AM

Comment on talaniman's post

LOL

You respond nicely, by having not contact with him. Let him figure out his own issues and problems. Individuals that exhibit such behaviour does not deserve someone the treasures honesty, kindness and compassion for other humans. His behaviour is directly linked to his selfishness and inability to be concerned for another's feelings. You are important, and you matter... Act like it... We are only as great as we treat others. And if his greatness, is directly correlated to the way he treated you, then in the law we would say "res ipsa loquitor". (The thing speaks for itself) be blessed