Check out some similar questions!

MoonBunny316 · Jan 26, 2011, 11:11 PM

Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend 13 months. Well from August to November he would try to dump me, tell me "Im falling out of love with you." He even did this the day before my 21st birthday, then on my birthday he forgot to tell me happy birthday. Well I went to a football game with my dad and He told me he was going to hookah with the guys. Well he called me the next morning and was telling me about his night and was really weird about it. Well me being the stupid one I believed him. Then I found out two weeks later from a girlfriend of one of his friends they went to a strip club. When I approached him about it he was a complete *** about it and was like "yeah i went so what?!" well then two months later I find out the whole truth. He got a topless lap dance and grabbed her tits. All while trying to dump me and tell me "I'm falling out of love with you". I was trying really really hard to make things right during September to November. Well I feel stupid because when I found out the whole truth I was at glamour shots doing a sexy photo shoot for him for xmas. I don't feel sexy anymore. I'm not fat either. I'm 5'3 130. So, I don't know what to do. I'm so hurt and angry. He watched me cry and felt terrible but told me he doesn't regret it and that he enjoyed the lap dance. He told me he didn't realize how much I loved him and how he wants to be my hubby and just keeps apologizing but you cannot convince any human against themselves, even if they hurt others. So please give me your opinions on what y'all would do?

Magstaa90 · Jan 27, 2011, 02:26 AM

Honestly, "he's just not that into you."
He only said those kinds of things "he want's to be your hubby" and all is because he doesn't want to hurt you or maybe he likes the fact that your lingering on to him. But all in all you can tell by a man's actions whether he's true. And I'm telling you if a guy really fell out of love, he probably meant it. It's easy for girls to keep lingering onto a guy she no longer likes, but it's hard for guys. If one day he finds someone better he will just call quits on you. That would hurt you a ton more then just stepping away now. Sorry to say, but it's by experience. Good Luck to you! You deserve a whole lot better, there's more fishes out in the sea. So be happy:)

anaconda1818 · Jan 27, 2011, 05:26 AM

Simple just dup him and forget about him

answerme_tender · Jan 27, 2011, 09:42 AM

Why would you want to be with him? He was honest up front with you before going to strip club. He said he was falling OUT of love with you. When he said that, he was already completely done with the relationship and moving on.

I know it hurts, most of us on this site have had to deal with same type of hurt. But you need to accept it and move on. You deserve better.

Don't let him drag you down. You don't need the approval of a man to have self confidence!! Keep your head up. Take care

Jayjay027 · Jan 27, 2011, 01:45 PM

Please don't fall into this web of insecure women allowing men to treat them like dirt! I have seen it happen too many times.

What makes you think you don't deserve better than that? He told you he was falling out of love with you, and your still hanging around. Why?

Do yourself a favour and get rid of him. It will hurt you in the short term, but you will be much better off without someone who doesn't want you.

MoonBunny316 · Jan 27, 2011, 03:01 PM

He wasn't honest at all about the strip club. I found out by one of his friends girlfriends.

Cat1864 · Jan 27, 2011, 03:38 PM

Both of you have made mistakes, please don't make another one.

He tried breaking up with you. Why didn't he follow through and end the relationship? Why did you hang on to him when you knew that his feelings had changed?

Since I don't know if the plans were changed on him, I will only address the next day when he lied about the night before. He should not have done that. He should have been honest and upfront with you. However, I get the impression that he was trying to protect your feelings when he lied.

Personally, I think he is on a guilt trip and is trying once again to make you feel better and himself feel like less of a jerk.

I think both of you need to sit down and be honest with each other about what you feel and where each of you see the relationship going. I think you need to be ready to accept reality and let him go and he needs to stop allowing himself to be pulled back in against his true feelings.

IF you do stay together, work on your communications to make a safe environment for both of you to share how you feel and to not feel the need to lie about things like strip clubs. Accept that strip clubs have nothing to do with his feelings for you so there is nothing to be insecure about. Even grabbing the stripper has nothing to do with you and more to do with a person who probably had too much to drink or was carried away by the environment.

If you don't feel like you can trust him, then walk away now. There will be very little he can do to change your mind and attempting to could strain an already strained relationship to the breaking point.

ken007nielsen · Jan 27, 2011, 06:48 PM

The only guys that deserves girls, are the one that treat them right. Nothing less!

MoonBunny316 · Jan 27, 2011, 10:49 PM

Hi cat,
Thank you so much for your insight. He said everything he did because he wanted to see if I would stay or not. He can't drink because he's not old enough but his friends shouldn't affect our relationship.

I have talked to him and I've repeatedly asked him about this and he say he wants to marry me and have a life with me but I don't know how to let go of the insecure feeling. He has told me everything since this has happened.

talaniman · Jan 28, 2011, 11:11 AM

Ain't love grand? No communications, no relationship, as stuff happens, and before you make this about you, or him, talk and make it about you both.

In any relationship, it's the honest communications that get you through tough times (that are guaranteed), and mistakes by one, or the other (also, guaranteed).

Even good guys lie about booty bars, and porn because, we know those things freak you out. He is a young guy, and doesn't know how to deal with a freaked out female, so forgive him, but tell him since you are going to freak out any way he may as well tell the truth.

HONEST COMMUNICATIONS, maybe it will freak you both out, but at least you can KNOW exactly what the other one is thinking, and feeling, and won't take everything so damn personally.

You should have been talking, when he first told you his feelings had changed, don't you think?