[Delgado2023]

Okay so me and my girlfriend have been going out since June 20,2010. Lately we have gotten into many fights... But since she told me that she likes one of her exs and her ex likes her too the fights have just been common more and more each day. We broke up for one day but the next day got together again but she hasn't told her ex that we got back together again... Her ex is moving to our school this coming Monday and is going to ask her out. I asked her why hasn't she told him that we're together again and she just said she didn't know. She wants to be with both of us at the same time but I am just uncomfortable with that considering that her ex used her and caused her pain. I'm so confused... I asked all my friends what I should do and they just said they didn't know that it was a complicated situation that we should talk it threw. But I try talking to my girlfriend but it doesn't go anywhere. I really love her and I don't want to lose her... We promised we would be together forever and no matter what be friends... But I don't think I can stand to see her kiss someone else... Please help me... I'm very confused... :'(

[Helenwozere]

Hi, it sounds like your still very young, if your still in school like and yous have not been going out that long but long enough for it to be " don't take this the wrong way" boring. Now what I mean is the grass is all ways greener and your girlfriend could be feeling like the fun is gone. You know the feeling you get when you kiss someone for the first time the spark you get the feeling in your tummy that its like you can't wait to see that person again. What I'm trying to say is bring back that spark be romantic in the new boyfriend kind of way. I don't think your girlfriend likes her ex I think she likes the thoughts of the new relatationship and the spark. So do something she won't be expecting.

I hope this helps

[jmjoseph]

Maybe you should stop investing all of your time, and energy, on a relationship that's one-sided.

She obviously doesn't respect you if she hasn't made your "relationship" known to the ex.

If you're still in school, then you're young. And at that age, we go through( most do anyway) several "loves' before we settle down with that special someone.

Let her make up her mind, but in the meanwhile, step back, and let her know that you're not planning on waiting for her selfish decision.

Good luck to you.

[answerme_tender]

I would just relax and take a breath. You are going out with a young lady and sometimes she may not feel that you are giving her enough attention, so they come up with the jealousy situation. Believe me when I say that young men do the same thing.

The best thing to do is re-assure her how you feel, but don't go off and get all macho man, because you will only end up looking like a fool. Just be yourself, and treat her descent and if her ex-boyfriend does start school there, don't be dis-respectful towards him, just treat him like a new kid and give him a chance. He maynot have any idea of what is going on between your girlfriend and you!!

If she continues to show dis-respect to you. Like pushing this ex-boyfriend in your face all the time, then you need to get smart and move on. Never let anyone treat you badly, that isn't a relationship!! Take care

[talaniman]

There have got to be better girls at your school who don't throw exes in your face. Just think for a minute, if he was such a jerk to her, why would she even talk to him again? Makes no sense to me but that's not the kind of female I would be trying to have fun with at all. Nor would I be worried about her exes, or any other competition at all, that's also a waste of time.

She senses your weakness though, and knows how to push your buttons pretty good, and you let her. That has to stop, and if you back up, and let her play her games by herself, YOU will feel better, and not be caught in her BS!

She wants you to feel jealous, and think you could lose her because she wants attention, and only you know why that is, but don't fall for any disrespect, or lose you dignity over this female or any other ever. Even if you have to leave the crazy ones alone, you are better off because, trust me, there are better ones out there, heck, there are better ones at your school, if you were inclined to look, so don't be so hooked on one that causes all this drama and confusion, and treats you like you are an idiot, instead of having fun.

I know when she is good, she is fun, and you have some strong feelings for her, she knows that, and knows how to use your feelings to get what she wants, so if you care for her more than you care for YOURSELF (which is pretty dumb), then keep playing her game.

Is all this worth having her as a girlfriend? Man up guy and stop allowing her to disrespect you. Let the ex have the headaches, drama, and confusion, while you are having fun.

[Delgado2023]

Threads merged


I'm scared if I don't make things less boring I will. Lose my girlfriend... Help :/

[mystific]

How boring is it now?

[talaniman]

How old are you both? Your threads were merged because they are about the same girl, and since it is and in light of your original post, she must of said you were boring so she threatened you with going back to the ex, right?

Is that the reason behind her game??

[Delgado2023]

She did confirm that are relationship was getting a little boring and said she was really thinking if sahe liked her ex or not... so in order to stop being a boring relationship I need help on how to do that.

[talaniman]

How old are you?

I was told that the only people who get bored, are boring people, so if you had no clue YOU were boring can we assume that she is?

Well you can't change that, its for her to change, and if she thinks changing partners would shake it up for her, she is right, but for sure would get bored again, or worse. All you can do is be yourself, and have fun, and give her the chance to share that fun with you.

Maybe the problem is that she doesn't know what fun she wants, so ask her. That's why I need your ages, because young people who need thrills and excitement also seek drama and confusion as an outlet. That's not always a healthy solution because they lose appreciation for the solid things in life, that are good clean fun and follow the cheap thrills that don't last very long, and sometimes not so much fun for a more grounded healthier partner.

Look guy, changing yourself too much to keep a female is not love or caring, its dependence, and not healthy.

I need to know your ages, so I can best explain healthy relationships from unhealthy ones. Boring people depend on others for stimulation, healthy people know what stimulate them.

[Delgado2023]

We are both 16

[talaniman]

That's way to young to have your heart held hostage by a young wacky female who wants to play games with your feelings. Always beware of those who blame you when they are not happy. Its seldom about you, its about them, and the way they see THEMSELVES.

Sometimes our own feelings get in the way of seeing what's really going on, especially FEAR (your fear of losing her), and we get so afraid, we get desperate, and do whatever they say to avoid that fear.

That's not healthy, because now you are compromising your own dignity, and self respect for someone who wants to manipulate and control you through mind games, and threats. You really have to stand up to this behavior, because she is an emotional bully, and clearly does NOT appreciate you for who you are. If you allow her to do this to you, and treat you this way, you will surely get more of this treatment from her, it worked once didn't it? She has you afraid, confused, and now desperate. That's not love and caring, nor is it healthy for you, or her.

Man up guy, and tell her she can have the ex, and your boring a$$ will get someone who appreciates you. Be prepared for her to leave, because she cannot manipulate and control you, and that's a great thing because she doesn't care for you, as much as you THINK you care for her.

That's the reality you deal with. You need to send a very strong message that you will not stand for her silly games, or keep kissing her butt to keep her. You don't need someone who doesn't respect you, but you have to respect yourself, first.

Relationships are about having fun together, not one using the other because she is easily bored.