What does it mean?

AgirlBT · Jan 24, 2011, 01:03 PM

I'm in a 1 year long relationship, recently my boyfriend decided to tell me all about his past relationships(he was hurt a lot ) and his sex life. He said he loves me in special way. Is that a good sign?

redhed35 · Jan 24, 2011, 01:09 PM

A good sign of what?

He said he loved you, he told you about his past and that he has been hurt.

I guess the question is what does 'special' mean to him.

You don't say what ages you both are, but try and trust what he says.

If he treats you right,respects you, then that's a good sign.

If your insecure about how he feels after a year,not so good of a sign.

AgirlBT · Jan 24, 2011, 01:19 PM

We are both 23,the thing all his past girlfriends cheated on him.He respects me a lot and treats me great.. Before he met me he had many one night stands.He said he doesn't want this to be just another relationship and he doesn't want to lose me.

I wish · Jan 24, 2011, 01:26 PM

Time will tell if he's telling the truth. As this is a new relationship, it's going to take time to develop. If you're really interested in him, then give this relationship some time to blossom.

Unfortunately, you can't have all the answers as you can't read his mind and you can't predict the future.

The only thing you can control is whether to continue this relationship based on how he makes you feel and how you feel about him.

redhed35 · Jan 24, 2011, 01:31 PM

Maybe he's ready for a relationship, and has chosen you.

If he's been cheated on in the past he may be feeling a little insecure and scared that this will end up the same, that's no reflection on you, just fear from him.

If he has not had many relationships he may be unsure of what is expected of him.

Keep talking, be honest with each other, let each other know the bounderies of the relationship.

Talk about how your both learning the ropes and you will both make mistakes along the way, and how your both going to resolve those issues... talk about it, BEFORE it happens.

Enjoy falling in love and being together... and talk talk talk.

talaniman · Jan 24, 2011, 10:16 PM

So far, so good, sounds like he trusts you, and that's something to build on.

lost.world · Jan 25, 2011, 11:19 AM

At least he's opening up with you. How many guys would actually disclose about a past relationship ? Quite a few, very rarely. It takes a lot to trust a girl and talk to her about the past relationships. I believe it's a good sign. I don't know what he means by special, but I guess he thinks quite highly about you.

AgirlBT · Feb 20, 2011, 04:08 PM

Threads merged

My boyfriend said he loved me.We are together 1 year now.I know he does and I believe him.He was cheated by all his past girlfriends and said he doesn't see himself in a real serious relationship in the next few years.He has always been honest with me and I know he loves me with all his heart.He told me that now,at this point of his life,I can't have him just to myself and that he can't be faithful and doesn't miss an opportunity for sex and he doesn't know if that's going to change but didn't say it was impossible and if I can accept that fact we will be together always.He said he can't stand the day without hearing my voice and seeing my face and that I am the only one with whom he can be himself, and completely free.This is true because no matter what he does and where he is he calls just to hear my voice and to say I love you.He told me his deepest secrets and wishes. He is and always will be the love of my life, no matter what happens.I didn't have the heart to end everything after the fidelity issue because I can't imagine my life without him because I still have hope. What do you think?

Homegirl 50 · Feb 20, 2011, 04:52 PM

Why would you allow yourself to be used in this manner.
This is a very selfish man. He says all of his previous girl friends have cheated on him and he is now asking permission to cheat on you. This is basically what he is doing.
Tell him if he wants to play the field go ahead but you will not be there waiting for nibbles and a call.
Don't allow yourself to be used in this manner. You deserve better.

jmjoseph · Feb 20, 2011, 05:02 PM

Go look in the mirror. This is the person that one day has to explain to her daughter how she should always demand respect in a relationship.

This guy doesn't "love" you if he is just sitting on ready, condom in hand, waiting for the next sexual encounter with someone else other than you.

How old are you both please? This sounds like the behavior of a young, selfish, childish, early twenties, gift to all women.

He wants you to stand by, and put up with it? And the sad thing is, that you given him a "get laid and not pay the consequences" card. He's the envy of all of his friends. He wants the proverbial cake and eat it too. Stop it now. It's you and only you, or nothing at all.

What about your dignity?

What about your pride?

I wish you luck.

With ANOTHER guy that is.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2011, 06:33 PM

He has been honest and open with you, and you should do the same with him, and tell him if you cannot be treated like the queen you are, and be faithful, then carry your cheating a$$ somewhere else because disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated.

He laid out his conditions for a relationship, now you have to lay out yours.
Actually you should have cussed his a$$ out for thinking you are dumb enough to fall for such a stupid a$$ condition, as accepting his cheating to keep him in your life.

Ain't that much love in the world!! Sorry, but if you aren't special enough to be faithful to, then you are not special.

Ask him has he been faithful, and if he says no, disappear from his life and ignore his attempts to contact you. This is nothing but a snow job to justify what he does or will do. And no self respecting person falls for that crap!

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