[bb0889]

She asked me to keep it to myself till he tells me one day, we both started to cry, and she feels angry because she didn't know, and if she could, would want to file a late rape charge. It hurts, and I wish he could tell me, and know that I love him no matter what.

He recently about 4 months ago, came back from Iraq and went through two scary moments while there, and me and his mom feel like he been very angry, and looses his temper at times, not violent, and not all the time, just occasionally. She told me in trust it was just he,r and me having breakfast, and she told me "I don't know if he ever told you but promise me you wont tell him or anyone especially him, i just want you to know", because she feels maybe he is still affected by it, and we both started to cry.

He is very loving and caring and I love him soooo much been together over a year and a half and I'm not going to ask him about it till he tells me, as much as I want him to, and just know that I love him no matter. I know he knows already, but just for him to know that I know and be able to talk if he wants to about it.

His mom found out because she and his uncle felt something was bothering him, and one day he went drinking with his uncle, and he got drunk, and his uncle wasn't so drunk, and asked him what bothering him. He started to cry and admitted what happen to him when he was 8 by a neighbor while his parents where at work, and the uncle told his mom, and she asked him, and came out about it.

She feels guilty for not being there, and knowing, and it hurts and wish I could have done something. I didn't know him then but you just start to think all these things, and it hurts me to know, and how he is feeling about it, and just don't know what I can do if anything. I feel kind of useless, and it sucks and makes me sad.

We talked to him, and he going to start soon going to therapy to maybe help why he might be so angry or loose his temper at times since he got back from Iraq and maybe him being molested and holding it in for so long.

We don't know, and we just want him to be at peace, and for him to know we will always love him, and he treats me good and never done anything violent just feel that something is bothering him, and maybe talking to someone will help him open up, and feel more at eased about things, and not so stressed, or whatever it might be.


Edited/T

[talaniman]

I know you are worried with all that has gone on, but keep your boyfriends mothers confidence, no matter what, as he has enough to deal with from his war experience. Many of our soldiers have returned, and need help making the transition to normal life, and have both physical, and mental battle scars to be healed.

Giving him love, and support through this will be a great benefit, and it may take a while to see those benefits, so be patient as he progresses steadily. It will take time. AND patience.

Good luck!

[Trishwa]

This is a tough situation.

If your boyfriend has never sought counciling or theraphy in the past for the abuse he incountered, he is most deffinatly feeling some kind of emotional trauma in regards to it. He had a piece of him violated and that's something he can never ever get back from himself. Going to Iraq will also cause Trauma. I do not believe these two are related issues though. I believe that he probably had just seen too much violence and mas curruption in Irag that it gave him post traumatic stress disorder. Most soldiers do incounter this after war.

All you can do for your man is stand by him and be there for him in tough times. Understand that he has had a lot of trauma in his life and it will not go away over night. It takes time and patience to get over any traumatic even, wheather it be being molested or being at war!

Thinks just seem to have a way of working out.

[answerme_tender]

This young man has a lot on his shoulders to have to work though. It is horrific to realize this man not only has to come to grips of his experiences while serving his country, but to deal with having a monster rape him of his innocense. A lot for any one person to have to over come.

I was extremely glad to hear that he is seeking answers through counseling. It will still take time, but at least he is taking the steps to heal!

This healing time with not always be easy for him, nor any of his loved ones. He and the rest of you will be living the ups and downs of the road of emotional recovery. Those valleys of death I will fear no evil for you are with me, doesn't always mean a physical death. I always believed it could be our spirt. So you all have those valleys to deal with, but remember there will be hill that you can climb to get out of those valleys, those hills are the actual healing process.

Take care

[LoveeCompletely]

I think you should tell him that you will be there for him. If you want him to confess, maybe you should ask if he had any childhood traumas. List a secret of your own to him. If you were molested as a child, tell him and he'd confess soon, thinking if you trusted him with a secret like that, he could trust you with his secret. I've been through this; my boyfriend told me he was molested by his older cousin for years and I was the first person beside the two of them who ever knew. His mother doesn't even know and when he told me we both got tears in our eyes. He told me he felt better after he opened up.