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bla333 · Jan 7, 2011, 07:12 PM

Hi I really need some friend asvise here. My best friend since kindergarten hits me, verbally bullies me, and has extreme anger problems. She has a disease which keeps her out of school a lot and my other friends hate her and say they will quit being my friend if I'm hers. I tried complaining before but my friend twists it to make it seem like I was the bully. She gets me in trouble (sounds silly doesn't it but its true) if I hang out with other people and anyone I like she hates. I can't seem to stop being her friend permanently. We have been friends so long... I can't do it so please refran from an answer to just give her up as a friend.

smoothy · Jan 7, 2011, 07:37 PM

For starters... this is no friend. Friends don't EVER treat friends like that. Understand the difference between a friend and someone you know well, and you can do what you know you HAVE to do... stop calling her a friend... for starters.

That or get used to getting picked on. Because you either distance yourself from her... or you really like being picked on.

There IS no other answer here.

Haven't you ever heard the old saying... With friends like that, who needs enemies!

DoulaLC · Jan 7, 2011, 07:54 PM

If you aren't willing to give her up, what do you intend to do about her behaviour? Why are you allowing her to treat you this way? Do you stick around because you feel sorry for her? Or are you frightened of her?

What does she say when you tell her to stop? Have you told her to stop?

I am guessing you are fairly young since there are threats of not being friends with you if you are friends with someone else. What do your parents have to say about it? Have you made them aware of what has been going on for so long?

If you don't think she will change, then as smoothy said, you either learn to put up with it and risk getting hurt, or you tell her that you have tried to be a friend to her, but that you aren't going to allow yourself to be treated that way any longer and end the friendship.

You don't have to keep being friends with someone just because you have been in the past. You will go through many friends over the years.

Friends support each other, treat each other kindly, enjoy each others company, take care of each other... this doesn't sound like that sort of a relationship.

bla333 · Jan 10, 2011, 10:17 PM

Thank you for the help. I have made my parents aware of what has been happening. They told the teachers at school about it but since she's "the sweetest little girl that has such a horrible disease" ( yeah right.) they didn't do anything. Her parents simply don't care too, they get mad at me. For example, they see me being hit by her they're like why did you make her mad enough to hit you? Apoligize! Its getting to be so absurd :(. I don't know what to do. When we weren't friends she continually called me a b****. Forcing me to apoligize for things like her stealing my phone and texting my crush pretending to be me saying things that make me look like a weirdo.

DoulaLC · Jan 11, 2011, 04:02 AM

I'm having a hard time understanding why you are remaining friends with her. You don't have to be unkind, but I would stop hanging around her and let the relationship die off.

Yes, she may try to push your buttons and be unkind herself, with name calling and such, but ignore it. If it comes to it, tell her upfront, "you've been unkind to me and I no longer want to be friends", then leave it at that. Don't keep engaging her in any conversation or contact.

If it continues to be a problem, let your parents and the school administration know about it again.

bla333 · Jan 11, 2011, 08:00 PM

I'll try it thanks! :)