[KMSRyana]

Ok girls, I've got a mystery to some of us men... Why is it when watching TV or a movie that if a woman says "Oh, he's hot" that we're supposed to accept it, but when we say the same thing about a woman on TV we are scorned for it ? :eek:

[golconda]

Because a lot of girls are insecure with themselves.

[tamed]

Because women go by what they feel and men go by what they see. So the chances are, when a woman says that a guy is hot if the guy shows up in front of her she would want to get to know him better (to make sure it feels right) before jumping into bed with the guy. With men however, if she shows up they are less likely to take as much time thinking about how they feel, if their second head is up for it so are they. There are a few exceptions to this rule of course and its those exceptions that wouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill if you catch my drift.

[Karolina]

I totally agree with golconda, however, I don't say that kind of stuff to my boyfriend because I just don't find it useful information for him to hear. I really don't care to hear who he find attractive either. My advice, keep that "who's hot, who's not" conversation with your buddies and the ladies should do the same.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, I think those kinds of comments are useless so why do we keep saying that stuff when we know it leads to problems.

[KMSRyana]

My advice, keep that "who's hot, who's not" conversation with your buddies and the ladies should do the same.

Whether your a guy or a girl, I think those kinds of comments are useless so why do we keep saying that stuff when we know it leads to problems.

That's exactly why I asked the question. If my girlfriend says "He's hot" or "He's really cute" while watching the television, I just let it go, what's the point in getting worked up over something that is make believe. Not like the guy is going to jump out of the TV and run off with her.

Experience has shown me, that most (no, not all) women will not take it the same way. The reaction from women, if any, that I've either been part of or witnessed, seems more "threatened" by someone who's on televison. Seems odd to me, and perhaps the insecure posts are right on the money. But why?

[Kristy40]

They are just insecure with themselves. Sometimes what's OK for one person is not the same as the other. You're OK with her saying that... that's how it sounds. Looks like she's not, so it's best you don't. Otherwise trouble!

For me, I don't like hearing it because I don't like thinking that my guy could lust over someone else. Also, especially if he thinks another woman, say different race, hair color, body size, etc... is totally different than me. Then it's just worse because you begin to think you're not what he truly wants.

We all have insecurities, some are just willing to share their's while others try and pretend they have none.

[Tuscany]

Agree that we all have insecurities.
I have to say that I don't mind if my hubby says a movie star is good looking. But if we are at the movies and he says "wow look at that girl she is hot," I might see a little bit of that green eyed monster.

[Nosnosna]

I'm male, so this may not be the perspective you're looking for.

In our society, there's a significant difference in what is considered the 'ideal man' and the 'ideal woman.' The ideal man is defined in large part by his ability to provide for his family, along with simply being in control, whether it's of himself or of his surroundings (in control is, of course, very different from being controlling). The ideal woman, however, is defined in large part by her appearance, with everything else coming second. You're more likely to hear "He's a doctor" and "She has nice breasts" than vice versa (substituting an attractive part of male anatomy) when talking about someone to be desired.

[Wildcat21]

I think any gal has major insecurity issues if she can't handle a guy saying someone's hot.

Just as long as he/she doesn't react on those feelings. Some people can't.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I can't see anything wrong with saying that you find someone attractive on T.V. since they are not in the real world. You can find anyone attractive yet not act on those thoughts. I often found other women attractive when I was with my ex but I would never had acted on anything because I love my ex and she was who I wanted to be with and nobody else. You are just appreciating something that looks good yet this does not mean that you do not also find your partner attractive too. If this becomes a real issue in a relationship, then I would imagine that there are big insecurity issues present.

[ForeverZero]

I'm of the opinion that I'm supposed to be myself in a relationship. Yes I do point out when women are hot, and yes, I expect to have good looking men pointed out. When I'm showing my girlfriend a hot girl, I'm saying that she's got a good look, that would also look good on you. I'm not dating my girlfriend for her looks, and I'm not staring at other women with drool coming down from my mouth. If you're secure with your man, it shouldn't matter what he's looking at, because at the end of the day you've got him and they don't. Not to mention, which would you prefer, when they're honest about it, or when you have to look at them looking at other women and wonder what's going on in his head.

It bothers me to no end when women get upset over things like that, because that means you're insecure with yourself. PArt of it is because women tend to put words in our mouth that changes the meaning of the statement. When I say "that girl's hot", women hear "that girl's hot and you're not". To me that's a childish mentality that drives so many relationships down the toilets. That's your problem that I can't fix. I'm not playing mother theresa to fix my girlfriend's insecurities, if you're not comfortable with yourself, you'd better learn to be BEFORE you get into a relationship. Women who rely on men to make them feel better about themselves are using them, plain and simple. I've never heard of a relationship that worked out in the end with a woman that wasn't secure with herself. Making the other person compensate for your insecurities puts a huge strain on the relationship.

[mouzer]

I think this is a VERY good question... I was thinking this myself. I believe when women say "he's hot" while watching TV that they would like to go out with them. This often disturbs me. Thank you for asking chicks, man I would have never thot to ask on this site! This site has an answer for every question

[chuff]

I think it's because they expect us to be good little puppies and do whatever they want. But the reality is I'm never going to meet the women on TV and I've see much more beautiful women out and about then I have compared to the "most beautiful" lists I constantly see put out.

[talaniman]

The solution is simple. Don't feed into your woman's insecurities. When you feel the need to express yourself do so but be considerate. She's hot,.............................................. . but not as hot as you are dear! ( smooch, smack, squeeze) NUFF SAID.

[spoilsport]

Girls do not like competition- boys thrive on it.

So do not compare girls where as guys can be compared.
Please reaad- "why men can't remember and women can't forget"
And
Like everything in the world- there are some exceptions !