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    delilah123's Avatar
    delilah123 Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #1

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:23 PM
    Have sex without your parents knowing
    I'm 13 and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me and we can't have it at my house because my parents are always needing me for something and they won't let me go to his house and we can't do it at school so I need help.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:25 PM

    Hello d:

    I think you should wait till you have your own apartment... But, I'm an old fogey.

    excon
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:28 PM

    Children 13 have no business having sex, depending on the age of the "boyfriend" he could go to prison for having sex with you.

    And how will your parents like having to help raise your child after you get pregnant,
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:29 PM

    You do need help, but not help figuring out where to have sex at 13.

    On this site we will not contribute to the delinquency of a minor. You're not legal age to have sex, you're not an adult, therefore we will not help you figure out how to do something illegal, and something that can harm you.

    Now that I've given you the lecture, I have to say this. I'm a mom. I have a 12 year old son. Sweetie, you are way too young to be having sex.

    Do you know the consequences of sex? Are you ready to have a child, care for a child, support a child? Can you afford to get an apartment on your own? Do you have a full time job where you make at least $2500/month? Even with $2500/month, raising a child won't be easy. In fact, you will struggle a lot.

    Sex = pregnancy. Even if you use every form of birth control on the market at the same time, you can still get pregnant. Even at 13 you can get pregnant.

    Are you willing to risk that?

    Please think this over. Talk to someone older, an adult, like your parents, or a wiser older sibling. Don't make a decision that can very well effect the rest of your life.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:31 PM

    Is this the same guy that you just asked about? The one you want to dump?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...uy-537000.html
    delilah123's Avatar
    delilah123 Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:37 PM
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    Nooooooo
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:38 PM

    No one should be engaging in sexual intercourse until they are financially, physically and emotionally able to have a child. You are none of those things. At 13 you have no business having sex. Actually you have no business having a boyfriend. It might even be illegal for your "boyfriend" to have sex with you.

    You don't say how old he is or how long he has, allegedly, been your "boyfriend". But any boy who would pressure you for sex at your age is not someone you should be associating with.

    You will find no support here for underage sex. You will find no support here lying to your parents. Smarten up and dump this punk and wait until you are ready to have sex.
    delilah123's Avatar
    delilah123 Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #8

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:39 PM
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    That's true
    delilah123's Avatar
    delilah123 Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #9

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:41 PM
    To Fr_Chuck: he is my age and I think it would be a good idea to change my mind about this

    To Scottgem: he is my age and we have been together for almost 3 or 4 months

    {Comments merged-<>}
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #10

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:41 PM

    So, this isn't the 12 yr old? So you have two boyfriends?

    Look we don't like being played here. We can't help you if you don't tell the truth.

    And by the way, please don't use the comments feature to post followups. Use the Answer options at the bottom of the page.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #11

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by delilah123 View Post
    To Scottgem: he is my age and we have been together for almost 3 or 4 months
    First, please don't use the comments feature for followups.

    Wow, 3 or 4 months? And you aren't even sure how long? Do your parents know and allow you to date?

    But yeah, you really need to be rethinking this foolishness.

    Oh and by the way, don't PM people without permission.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #12

    Dec 30, 2010, 04:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by delilah123 View Post
    To Fr_Chuck: he is my age and i think it would be a good idea to change my mind about this

    To Scottgem: he is my age and we have been together for almost 3 or 4 months

    {Comments merged-<>}
    I think changing your mind about this is a good idea too.

    Wait. The post about the guy you wanted to dump was written on December 22, 2010. So you were dating 2 guys at once?

    Delilah, it's time to slow down, stop being in such a hurry to grow up. Stop dating more than one guy at a time.

    There's a word for girls like that, and it's not a nice word, not one you want associated with you.

    There's plenty of time for you to do grown up things, but really, it's best to wait until you're actually grown up.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #13

    Dec 30, 2010, 05:32 PM

    You need to slow way down.
    You were just asking a question about a 12year old boy.
    Where and when did this one come about?

    I don't think you know what you want to do or who to do it with, but that is normal because you are 13. This topic should not even be coming up.
    bestbessie's Avatar
    bestbessie Posts: 45, Reputation: 10
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    #14

    Dec 30, 2010, 06:41 PM
    I am really concerned about you being pressured. This is not cool, even if he talks to you about how much he loves you, or gives you any other story about why you should do what he wants, he's pushing you to have sex when you clearly aren't sure. I agree with everyone else, you're too young. 13 is a time to have fun with friends, play sport, go to movies, hit the swimming pool, go dancing.

    Of all my friends the one who lost her virginity the youngest, was only 14, and she says that she's regretted it for many years. She felt pressured, she didn't feel like she did something that she wanted to do, the boy told everybody and the other kids started to tease her or ignore her. Other boys then assumed she was 'up for it' so she was never sure after that of their motivations. She often got told, well you've done it before, what's the big deal? Which made her feel really cheap and ruined her confidence and trust in other boys, then men for a long, long time.

    Delia there is plenty of time, when I look back I remember my teenage years as being one with lots of giggling with my girl friends, crushes on boys, and feeling good that I wasn't a child anymore but also happy not to be an adult with adult responsibilities. Stay innocent a little longer, it's a pretty nice way to be, because eventually life is going to get complicated!
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
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    #15

    Dec 30, 2010, 06:46 PM

    All I am saying is something is not right here. Either the OP is lying about age, dates or lifestyle or she really has dug herself into a deep hole early.

    One question? Have you even hit puberty? Has he? That should throw things in perspective for you. You have a lot of growing up to do, both physically and mentally before sex is even considered.

    Why be in such a hurry? Your life right now should be about having fun, being with friends, school, dances, not paying bills ;), riding the bus to school, worrying about going into H.S. etc...

    Don't be in a hurry to grow up... it's over-rated.

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