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dc4444 · Dec 3, 2010, 10:49 AM

My son and his wife seek a divorce, and they are both amicable and cooperating with each other. She had a child by another man during her marriage to my son. They have been advised by another relative that the divorce will go much more quickly if they wait to establish the paternity of the biological father until after the divorce. All three have resided in California for the past 8 months, but the child was born while they were all living in Virginia 16 months ago.

How does my son answer the question posed on forms to be filed, "Do you have any children of this relationship under the age of 18?" The child was conceived and born while they were married, but since the child is not my son's, he thinks the child may be regarded as NOT of the relationship, which would lead to an answer of "no" to the question.

Both my son and his wife are in full agreement that she is to obtain full custody of the child, and that my son is to have no future obligation of any kind to either her or the child after the divorce.

cdad · Dec 3, 2010, 03:03 PM

He must answer yes. Right now he is the presumed father of the child. Is the other person going to come forth to challenge this? It has to be decided BEFORE the divorce can take place.

He also is looking at paying child support for this child until it is resolved.

foreverh · Dec 18, 2010, 07:06 PM

Even if this is resolved... If the biological father will not submit to a paternity test? The court in CA could hold your son legally responsible for the child.

It is how it is right now for my husband. He did not have any of his own children with his ex-wife, but because he supported her child willingly as his step-father and took on the roll as the 'father figure' the court ordered him to pay child support. Only if the biological father would step up to a DNA test, would he ever be allowed to stop paying.

ScottGem · Dec 18, 2010, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by dc4444

Both my son and his wife are in full agreement that she is to obtain full custody of the child, and that my son is to have no future obligation of any kind to either her or the child after the divorce.

It doesn't matter what your son and his wife agree to, its what the law allows. Your son is the legal father according to both VA and Ca law. I believe CA law has a 2 yr window in which paternity can be challenged. So I would get paternity established BEFORE the divorce.