[ExMscharm]

I have been marrried for the last 7 years, and we have a 4 yr old daughter. I quit my job when I was pregnant with my daughter. My parents have made sure that I am financially independent. Lately, I feel unloved and less cared for, I have tried talking to my husband but he simply doesn't get it and he is averse to counselling, I don't know how to get it through to him that I would like a genuine hug or a kiss when am down, caring for a 4 yr old can be extremely tedious and quite honestly boring! I feel horrible for feeling that way. I want to get back to work and feel useful to say the least. I used to be a charming woman I hate the person that I have become. My husband, he is not abusive or mean but he's simply indifferent and cold. I don't know what to do. Help! Should I walk out?

[joypulv]

The '7 year itch' is often the 7 year ho hum instead. It's very common, although I realize that's not much consolation. The key here might be getting out of the house if you can find that job you'd like to have, even if you spend every dime of your pay on daycare. It will provide social contact, meaning, self worth, new friends, interesting tidbits to tell over dinner, maybe even a little healthy jealousy from your husband as you talk about other people. If you can't find work easily, volunteer, which can lead to a job. If after all that it's still not enough and you need those hugs, then think about a divorce, but give it a good year or so I'd say.

[answerme_tender]

Honestly, I don't feel you should just walk out. We sometimes cannot even figure out what the heck is going on with us, or how to fix it. Why is it that we expect our husbands to know. I mean come on, how can we expect the same person who basically has no idea why our hormones are out of whack while PMS'ing to understand when we are emotionally down in the dumps. I am not saying that some men don't try to understand, and help, that is rare.

Your husband may just be were he doesn't understand what you are going through, because he hasn't experienced that himself. So he doesn't know how help or what to say to make it better. That doesn't make him a bad husband or person.

I think you need to try and find parttime job outside of the home. You need to give yourself credit, being a homemaker is one of the hardest jobs to do, there is no vacation,no sick, no promotions,no raises. But the rewards are so much more then any of those things!

You just need sometime for yourself, and to be able to have adult time sometimes helps put things back into perspective.

Good luck

[Enigma1999]

I agree with Answerme_tender...

I wouldn't leave you Husband. I would impress on counselling. You said that he is not abusive or mean. He may need more guidance on how to be more sympathetic to your needs.

Talk Talk Talk... Communication is the best way to go.

Good Luck.