[oona2223]

My dad recently passed.He appointed one of his friends Power of Attorny and trustee to his estate.Besides the shock of my dad in a little box at his services(my dads written request to be cemated, unknown to us till that day) his ashes were swept off by some woman as soon as the services were over. "Omg! who took my Dad?"
Us kids are the beneficiarys,Though his written request to be cremated was granted, my dad wrote nothing of what he wanted to be done with his ashes.
Us kids later received an Email from the trustee, saying she and her family were going to have a private ceremony and distribute his ashes on his property. I spoke with the trustee. She said, that's what my dad told her to do. I don't believe it, besides, my dad would have written it down.
My dad made a revocable trust 2 weeks before he died. The cost of my fathers services came from his estate not her. t
That's how he wanted it. Though she was hired by my father to carry through with his wishes and is being completely compensated for it, Does that give her legal right to do with what she wants with his ashes?. Us kids want them back. Basically, she told us all tough! She will have her private family ceremony next month with my dad then dump his ashes.. Can she do this?
P.s. The woman Im speaking of is a friendgirl of my fathers. Not a girlfriend, and indicates that several times when asked her relation ship with my father. That is documented.
Thank you for your time

[ebaines]

Absent any specific written instructions, and assuming that your father specified that this woman be his personal representative (executor of his estate), then she is indeed responsible for determining what to do with the ashes. I would sincerely hope that if the family has a general consensus of what to do with them she would listen. But you don't mention what you think should be done with the ashes. You can't just keep the ashes sitting around in a cardboard box, so how would you propose disposing of them?

By the way - there may be legal issues around scattering the remains on private property. These are huiman remains, and their presence should be documented and disclosed to any potential future owners of the property.

[oona2223]

Adding to the comment above, this woman wants to spread my fathers ashes on his property or hers, along with a private ceremony of people ,her choice.
My sister brother and I would like to scatter his ashes at sea, where we spent all but the last nine years doing together. Us kids, my dad we all got in a stupid lame disagreement. My dad ousted us out of his life a few times. He moved to Santa Rosa, wanted a new life. He was really busy, retired and was just having fun. No time for us until two weeks before he died. Besides him telling me that Ide gain wieght, he went on to tell me that he's sorry for neglecting me, that he loved me very much. That last 4 days we spent together was like we've never left each other. My Papa was and still is my hero. Those were the most honest, humble, spiritual and fatherly love, packed in those 4 days made up for nine years of sadness. Tenfold. He left me feeling like he'd had in the passed, nothing els ever mattered but us. He had many many friends he loved very much as well but his children? That's a love no friend could ever feel. If he wanted a union pow wow as a catholic loophole to go to heaven,wanted to know he was forgiven by all us kids then we wouldn't of stayed the 4 days. We would have let his girlfriend handle that to. My Papa never asked for our forgiveness, rather embrassed us with love and made sure before he died, that this had never changed. So, You all talk about ashes? It's the trustees legal right to do with them as she pleases? Not! My papa didn't use a catholic loopwhole sos to get to heaven, The person who has his ashes is protraying that, by saying my papa wanted her to have his ashes and spread on his property or hers. No , my Papa wanted to come home to his kids. Papas ashes are our closer and last time well all be together. I know Papa would have wanted that to! So yes, That's why us kids want his ashes. For us they're sacred. We want them back