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Symbelmine · Jan 5, 2007, 07:21 PM

Hello there, people!
Haven't seen you all for a while!
Well I came back for the following reason..
Remember my last posts about being in a long distance relationship that was getting a little too hard for me and my guy?
Well I ended it in September, that's why I didn't post, cause I had NO relationship to post about, hehehe..
Well I haven't forgotten him.. Its going to be 4 months soon and I still love him. After I broke up with him we've kept contacting each other regularly.. And on occasions Ive told him I miss him and love him and he's told me the same.. In December I told him it was VERY likely that this February I go and study in his country. He was happy and we agreed to give it a shot.
BUT a few days before christmas just the day that I told him it was 100% sure that Im going to be there in February, he told me that just the day before he started seeing this girl.. he said he's so stupid and he wasn't 100% certain that I was going to go etc etc.. And I was very sad and he was in a panic athik saying it was all messed up, telling me not to be sad and telling me he's so stupid etc.. After that we had a huge talk and he told me he loved me in so many ways and he didn't know what he feels for this other girl but told me it unfair to drop her like that and that its unfair for me to come suddenly wanting him to drop everything.. He told me he's confused and told me to go to his country anyway, he told me we'll go out and see each other for sure and that he's positive he'll want to kiss me and hug me once he sees me but can't promise me that.. He told me we'll see what happens.
Its been a few weeks.. I have no idea what happened with that girl.. But yesterday he asked me everything about my trip there.. My address, phone number, he asked how long Im staying and he told me he'll go pick me up at the airport and told me to call him if I need anything. He was so nice..
And I don't know why I don't hate him for having seen or be seeing another girl.. I don't know I guess I understand him.. I broke it off and it had been months..
I still love him so much and Im dying to see him.. For what Ive written, do you think we'll go back together once Im there? Do you think he still has feelings for me and that these feelings will come out once we see each other and go out and stuff?
Don't tell me to forget him, cause no way Im going to forget him before having tried once again living in his same city.. Just tell me what the odds are that we're going to get back together? Is it probable? How probable?
Thanks for your opinion and sorry for the long parragraph :)

SYM*

ordinaryguy · Jan 5, 2007, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by Symbelmine

Dont tell me to forget him, cause no way Im gonna forget him before having tried once again living in his same city.. Just tell me what the odds are that we're gonna get back together? Is it probable? How probable?

One chance in 476,238,763.

Symbelmine · Jan 5, 2007, 08:00 PM

.. And what are your reasons for that answer? Give me some insight.. Maybe Im wrong but I had thought about a 50/50 chance? :S

shenda · Jan 5, 2007, 10:01 PM

There is an adage that states "never back a woman into a corner, for out of desperation there is no telling what she will do". Lady you know better than us all. If you truly want him back, what will stop you... just becareful... lately I have been told by friends that have broken up with men and reconnected, that some of these men entered into the relationship, just to break up with them as a means of revenge. You know him better than that... Bottom line if you want him, you shall have him; therefore why do you doubt, why do you contemplate on the odds of the relationship. Do you want the relationship for its worth or do you simply want to have someone to connect with when you visit his country, a new place for you so that you do not feel lost upon arrival. Be honest with yourself, if it is the relationship, you should be confident that the two of you will expand on what you previously had, but if it is merely so that you don't feel alone when you get there, reconsider the context of the friendship... think about it... you would not want to feel used, now would you

ordinaryguy · Jan 6, 2007, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

One chance in 476,238,763.

It was a tongue-in-cheek answer to your unanswerable question. He's confused, you're confused. He started dating another girl after he knew you were coming. Now he wants to try it again with you, though he hasn't said whether he broke it off with her or not. Probably not, is my guess. I'd say the chances you will get back together, at least momentarily, are near 100%. But the chances you will be happily together ten years from now are closer to one in 476,238,763. I just don't see much evidence that either of you are focused on building a healthy long term relationship.

talaniman · Jan 6, 2007, 08:45 AM

I thought you two should move on in your last post and since you have talked again and has a new female... I don't know really but the fact that he was moving on and you have comeback in the picture and expect to spend time together??
LDR are so hard to maintain, so I guess if he is willing and you are too, See what happens.

Symbelmine · Jan 6, 2007, 04:20 PM

Well.. So basically you're telling me its QUITE POSIBLE that we get back together.. What you doubt is that we'll STAY together.. Makes sense.. I understand.. I doubt it, too.. Cause this is going to be the real test. NOW we're going to be together for real.. Not together and far away from each other.. I know.. Maybe, he's right and I have no right to come back and mess his plans and expect him to be right there where I left him.. Ans NO.. Its not because I don't want to be alone.. I have a few friends around there waiting for me and so.. And Im pretty sociable and Im sure Ill make friends quickly..
I DO want to be with him and not cause Im going to be there "alone", but because its all that Ive wanted since I met him and FINALLY I get a CHANCE to make it. I know it might not work out.. But what the heck at least I have a real chance to TRY and say: Well I tried. I did everything I could to make this work.. And after that Ill be able to move on in peace.. And wth a clean councious. :) That's my way of seeing it..

And for Shenda.. You're right. I have this hunch that Ill make it. Ill get him back.. And I I have confidence in that.. Its quite logical.. But I just wanted to see if other people with common sense would look at it as I do, or if Im just plainly NUTS..
Thank you so much for your answers, everybody! I like your honesty.

If u have any more comments then bring them on!

talaniman · Jan 6, 2007, 05:10 PM

Getting some one is half the battle. Keeping them is a whole nuther ball game.

Symbelmine · Jan 6, 2007, 05:29 PM

Yes, your 100% right.. :) But.. My thought makes sense, doesn't it?

"I get a CHANCE to make it. I know it might not work out.. But what the heck at least I have a real chance to TRY and say: Well I tried. I did everything I could to make this work.. And after that Ill be able to move on in peace.. And wth a clean councious."

talaniman · Jan 6, 2007, 05:33 PM

That why I changed my opinion. That and your right there. Will you be there permanantly? Will he move back if you do? Go for it anyway. At least you would have tried.

chuff · Jan 7, 2007, 12:26 AM

Originally Posted by Symbelmine

In december I told him it was VERY likely that this february I go and study in his country. He was happy and we agreed to give it a shot.
BUT a few days before christmas just the day that I told him it was 100% sure that Im gonna be there in february, he told me that just the day before he started seeing this girl..

So I'm supposed to believe that in the beginning of December you two long distance "lovers" were about to possibly make this happen if everything worked out with school, but yet just 2 weeks later when you confirmed that it was a go, he magically had a new woman pop up in his life, the day prior? I don't believe it. I think he's had her for sometime and he probably never thought you would go to his country for an extended period. Maybe for a weekend or even a week he could hide her from you but not if you were living there. Once he found out you were coming he had to to reveal her.

Symbelmine · Jan 8, 2007, 07:13 PM

Yeah I would have thought so, too... IF I didn't know FOR SURE that its true what he said.. :P Cause one of the reasons I CONFIRMED I was going to go, even though I wasn't even 10% sure yet was because I found out about the existence of this girl.. And I found out she was a threat, but by that time nothing had happened YET.. Until that same night.. Trust me.. I KNOW.. :) Thanks though, for all the theories..
And if there's something I know about him is that he's not a liar. He might be confused.. Immature, stupid, slow... He might be A MAN.. haha , but he's not a liar.. Ive always known that, especially after he confessed to me what I already knew from other means..

chuff · Jan 8, 2007, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by Symbelmine

And if there's something I know about him is that he's not a liar. He might be confused.. Immature, stupid, slow... He might be A MAN.. haha , but he's not a liar..

Well of course he's not a liar. After all he's not a woman! HAHAHAHA

Symbelmine · Jan 9, 2007, 05:32 PM

Hahahah.. Good one.. Even I am laughing :P Im a traitor to my kind ahhaha.. Well anyway ! Good newssss :D Yesterday we had a big conversation.. He initiated it.. Immediately he asked me WHEN I'm going to be there.. Like he was impacient or something.. He invited me to go to his home after the airport to have some dinner and visit his mom and all that.. I said I didn't know.. He insisted and well he kept on asking me about my trip there.. asked me if I'm excited etc.. And he seemed to be excited himself.. After that I told him I want to get a piercing and he told me we'll go together when he gets his tattoo ahhaha and we began making plans and things like that and when I asked him what's new he said he's been doing the usual AND said he's not going out with that girl.. HE said he hasn't kissed her and that he hasn't even seen her. He said they only speak on the msn.. He told me he just wanted me to know.. I said.. " mm that's... good? thanks for letting me know though.." and he said " like ure not happy :P" And I said: "Should I be happy? are you?" and he said " yes I am.." So I said : "Well then if u are then Im happy too :D"
So its obvious we're going to go out together and see each other.. This conversation reminded me of our first ones.. And I can TELL he still likes me a lot and wants me to be there already :D So Im happy!
Im a bit afraid something goes wrong but so far as I can see things are All right and eveything is getting back in its place :D

What do you think? :D Its OK to be happy isn't it??