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    wesa98's Avatar
    wesa98 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 11, 2010, 01:10 PM
    After every other weekend visits with his father he comes home with violent behavoir
    My spouse left me when out youngest son was 3 omths old. We also have a 14 year old son together. He left for another woman. When my 4 year old son comes back from his every other weekend visits he is violent. I have documentation from the school progress reports that will back me up on this.He mistreats other classmates and his older brother. Is there any grounds to request less visitation with the father? He is a sales clerk at a gun shop and always have the boys at the shooting range. My oldest son said that there is always a loaded gun in the house within the 4 year olds reach. My oldest son is scared to death of his father and stepmom because they always threaten to send him to military school. I feel like they are blackmailing him. I am scared for both of my sons and don't know what to do. My oldest son told me that his dad put a gun to my head one night while I was sleeping and I was never aware of this until years later. What can I do?
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #2

    Nov 11, 2010, 02:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by wesa98 View Post
    My spouse left me when out youngest son was 3 omths old. We also have a 14 year old son together. He left for another woman. When my 4 year old son comes back from his every other weekend visits he is violent. I have documentation from the school progress reports that will back me up on this.He mistreats other classmates and his older brother. Is there any grounds to request less visitation with the father? He is a sales clerk at a gun shop and always have the boys at the shooting range. My oldest son said that there is always a loaded gun in the house within the 4 year olds reach. My oldest son is scared to death of his father and stepmom becuase they always threaten to send him to military school. I feel like they are blackmailing him. I am scared for both of my sons and dont know what to do. My oldest son told me that his dad put a gun to my head one night while I was sleeping and I was never aware of this until years later. What can I do?
    You can try filing for a modification but I don't know that it would do you any good at this point. You have no "proof" that the father is the problem.

    If the child is becoming angry, you need to get to the root of the problem - cutting his father out of his life isn't going to accomplish that. Have you tried discussing what the problem is with your son? Ask him why he's being mean but don't point out to him that the change in behavior is after his father's visitation.

    If there is a loaded gun in the house, that is something of great concern and needs to be addressed. You should discuss this with your ex.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #3

    Nov 11, 2010, 04:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    ...
    If there is a loaded gun in the house, that is something of great concern and needs to be addressed. You should discuss this with your ex.
    There was a time when there was at least one loaded gun in just about every home in the nation. It wasn't a problem then, and if children are properly trained it needn't be a problem now. Children should be taught that all firearms should always be treated as being loaded, and that loaded firearms are dangerous. They should be taught to never touch them without permission, and only if properly trained.

    OP's son is 4 years old, almost old enough to start attending school. He can be properly trained regarding firearm safety.
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #4

    Nov 11, 2010, 07:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    There was a time when there was at least one loaded gun in just about every home in the nation. It wasn't a problem then, and if children are properly trained it needn't be a problem now. Children should be taught that all firearms should always be treated as being loaded, and that loaded firearms are dangerous. They should be taught to never touch them without permission, and only if properly trained.

    OP's son is 4 years old, almost old enough to start attending school. He can be properly trained regarding firearm safety.
    The question wasn't regarding your belief on what is an appropriate age to have a gun around a child. It was regarding a noted change in her son's personality after visitation with his father.

    And one of the first things they teach in hunter's safety is that you UNLOAD your weapon immediately after use. Only a complete moron would keep a loaded gun in a house with a child.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Nov 11, 2010, 07:42 PM

    First it is hard to know if this is true, and if that "loaded" gun is property secured. I have one loaded in my house, but it is easy to access but also secured. ( love modern gun security)

    The issue here is that he could also turn this, and show that his behavior shows a need for more visits, that the child is not seeing him enough to be properly used to him.
    So expect a counter motion if you file.

    1. his owning a gun shop will not really be evidence.
    2. the loaded gun may or may not be an issue to court, but only to require him to keep it locked, not take away visits.
    3. behavior, he will claim it is your behavior about the visits causing it, you will claim it is him, court will most likely do nothing

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