[bb13]

My Boyfriend and I split up 6 months ago after a five year relationship. He seems to have moved on and is seeing someone else. He finally told me he doesn't love me anymore. I am trying to move on - but I can't stop thinking about him, I was sure we were good together and could not ever imagine being without him. I am doing all the right things exercise etc, but I can't shake off thinking about him and bringing myself to completely move on. I feel depressed and I just want to be me again and be open to new things. Help! Any advice?

[JDOP]

Think of your past relationship as a great experience instead of wasted time. I don't think you can ever "get over" a break-up after 5 years especially not if it wasn't your decision to break-up. All you can do is accept it is over, try to live with it and start looking at it from a positive point of view. I've learned that thinking about it doesn't help you, the only thing that helps is getting absorbed by other, new things in your life. Time is a great healer, so just hang in there

[talaniman]

Fill your time with the things you enjoy doing, or look around for some volunteer work at hospitals or a church, getting out of self and helping others less fortunate does wonders for the soul.

[wap]

This is very similar to my situation. 6 months ago for me to, wasn't me who decided to finish it, we were together 4 years. I don't know if my ex is seeing someone, try not to think about it.

I have just tried to fill my time with the gym, going out with friends, having lots of 'me time' really.

I am the same, it still hurts, I think about him every day although I don't mean to. It is important to try and not put your life on hold, try to set yourself goals, do as much as you can. Maybe you could learn a new language or join a class or something.

I can completely sympathise with you as I am in the same situation
Xx

[Druid]

Love is a strong emotional attachment to someone who we feel is of value to us.

Heartbreak is the loss of the emotional interest in us of someone who we are emotionaly interested in and who we feel is of value to us.

Moving on is the value we have for the previous person going and other things in out lives becoming of greater value than the value we had for our previous partner.

Time :- The pain of loss is greater than anything and consumes our thoughts. As time goes by and other things of value come into our lives then this pain diminishes. Until one day it is no longer there.

Solution: No contact, think of the negative things about the ex partner and then think of your ideal partner, 100% the person of your dreams. Imaging that person there with you. How does it make you feel - It makes you feel happy and therefore it is that person you miss, not your ex !

In other words it is the benefits of a loveing emotional relationship that you miss and not the ex partner, it just feels like it's the ex because they were the last to provide those benifts. Just as the new partner will do the same.

All to often we cocoon ourselves in our feelings without stepping back and seeing the reality of life.

[ForeverZero]

Do you have a job? If you don't I'd recommend getting one. Not a nice job either. Get one of those frantic peanut jobs are the grocery store. They keep you busy and stressed out over the work and the low pay so you won't even be aware that you had a life that was better. The employee turnover rate is so high you're guaranteed to be meeting new people all the time. I find work to be one of the better ways to network myself, but you got to be willing to take crap jobs where all the people are at.

[shenda]

Most often when a person is unable to move on, it is merely because the ex partner has exposed you to a part of yourself that once was hidden. People bring out the best/worst/the unknown in us... sometimes when we experience a side of our personality that was not exposed to us, one that we never experience prior to that relationship... we ascribe this exposure to the partner... when in fact... the stage was set... they pull out of us a side that we did not know existed; however, reality must yell loud... you are permitted to live and explore this newness without the ex partner. If you permit yourself to experinece your newness in life, you will be amazed at its development. It is by our interaction with others that exposes our true self. Think about for a moment... what is it that you learned about yourself due to that relationship. Own and explore it. Life will be all the better for it.