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tinkerbell77 · Jan 4, 2007, 03:22 PM

I have another quick question about grandparent visitation. For any one that has gone threw this or has some insight please help... Breifly: The grandparents have never had custody of, or lived with the children. Very limited visitation and never had any over nights. Just saw them at family gatherings etc. They are asking for one full day a month and one full weekend 4 times a year. Plus they are asking for time at every holiday. Is this excessive for grandparents visitation? My thought was one full day every 3 months. That is even more then what they have seen before. But I'm not sure where grandparent visitation stands. Or what is typical IF they get any?? Any thoughts?

J_9 · Jan 4, 2007, 03:26 PM

OMG, I would think this is not enough!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but without them the grandchildren would not be brought into this world.

Is there something more here you have not let us in on?

Why would you NOT want your children to grow up with their grandparents?

tinkerbell77 · Jan 4, 2007, 03:30 PM

My parents were very abusive to me as a child. I was almost put in foster care. But due to there threats lied. I was letting them see them. But they didn't like that it wasn't on there terms and wanted to take it to court. I don't believe this was a good way to approach it and have fear for there safety to be alone with these people.
Believe me, I went on for a long time denying what had happened to myself because I wanted my kids to have grandparents. But this isn't the cookie making, fish taking grandparents we all dream about. So I have to be causious for there safety.

J_9 · Jan 4, 2007, 03:33 PM

Oh, okay, my bad then. Sorry.

If this is the case then you should have nothing to worry about. Just present the facts if it ever does go to court, but be sure you have a lawyer to represent you now.

tinkerbell77 · Jan 4, 2007, 03:38 PM

I do have court in about a month. And I do have a attorney. Unfortunately a lot of what happen to me, I didn't keep record of cause I was young. And the records are so old, I'm having a hard time digging some of them up.
I do have pictures of things that have happened to my children since there dad (my ex) has taken them over there. Marks, extrem hand burn etc...
My lawyer say's there is still a chance they could get something. He thinks they are asking in excess of what they can get, cause they have never had a good relationship with the children. So I guess my whole post was to see if anyone else has had this type of visitation granted and what kind of time they got?

JoeCanada76 · Jan 4, 2007, 04:05 PM

Just like we do not want my wife parent around us. We keep our distance and do not want any contact. Very controlling, very abusive especially emotionally. We do not want that for our son. As far as visitations are concerned you are the parent you're the one that decides whether they see them or not. Oh, and if anybody tried to fight me over that. They would have to get ready for a good fight. I will protect my baby any way I have too. If that means no contact, which is in effect right now, It has to be that way. I went as far as saying that if I die, and they try to run his life I will come back and haunt them.

I do not think the child or children will miss out on grandparents if they do not really know them. There are plenty of other family around anyway. I honestly do not believe grandparents have that right to force visitation.

Joe

tinkerbell77 · Jan 5, 2007, 08:20 AM

Thanks for your input Jesushelper! It sounds like you know exactly how I feel. Unfortunately, my parents have decided to start a legal case. I'm trying to fight it to the death. But since I'm divorced they have a right to ask for visitation. I don't believe they should have a right either. I have always had full custody. And they have had investigators and day care providers state that I'm a "fit" parent. I feel like if I'm "fit" then I should be able to protect my kids from what I see unfit.
I am remarried now, with another child on the way. I was informed that in my state that they have NO rights to ask for vistiation of the baby as long as my husband and I are married and I don't die. I did recently write a will that states that my husband is not to be burdened with grandparent visitation If anything was to happen to me. My new husband can't stand the things they do either. I would hope that nothing would happen to me, and that he will never have to deal with that. But you never know? So I just took the causious rought. My lawyer said they could still try to fight the Will, if it ever came to that. But as long as the child has NO contact it would be a hard case for them to win. So I've really just been going crazy over the fact that they could ask for visitation of the 2 children I have. And with the fact that they have hardly had anything to do with us, and that I'm just trying to protect my children. I want to get my facts straight about the legal system before I go in. I am not sure where to look to find out what kind of visitation is granted when they do grant it?? I feel that this world is coming to unfair justice in these cases. Dr phil even had a episode where he stated that grandparents are a privlage not a right. :o
Thanks again for your reply! It's good to know I'm not the only one out there with a crazy family!