[sabby19]

Hi,
I am quite a tempered lady, I sometime get a little violent when I am angry. violent in the sense ,I pinch or bite. Now from 1 week I am having a strange feeling like when I am angry I feel like banging that persons head to the wall. Even when he 3 yrs old son crys I get irritated & feel like doing the same. I am not able to talk to anyone.I am feeling scared.I am scred I might hurt someone. Thanks for reading my mail. Help.

Sab

[J_9]

Let me ask your age?
How long have you been violent?
Do you have any help with your son?

[pennybot]

it sounds like you are scared and ashamed of your own feelings wether or not you acted on them.
Most people get agitated and can have unkind thoughts. That's human.
Feeling and thinking something is one thing. Feelings are just things. They haven't been acted out yet. They are still just a feeling. No one is going to arrest you for having the Feeling.

Following through with them is another story. You can get arrested for actions.

You can't control feelings but fortunately, you can always control your actions despite what you may have heard come out of the mouth of another angry person who claim they 'lost control' of themselves, no action is uncontrolled by yourself. you operate your arms. no one else does. If we didn't control our actions, all of us would be hitting eachother. But alot of us seem to get through each day without that.

I confess I don't have lovely thoughts about everyone either. In fact sometiems I have downright nasty feelings for certain people.
Some people really annoy me at work and rub me the wrong way. and as much as I fantasize it, I don't go up and wollup them. I try conflict management, if that doesn't work with them, I limit the time I spend with them or make up an excuse to have a time out. Later, when I get home and I punch my punching bag.
After that, I get too tired to hold onto it and let it go.
Still, it's controlling actions. I want to hit and Im not going to deny the satisfaction of hitting something however, I'm controlling my direction of it. For some people, for example my co-worker beside me, when she's needing anger release, running or doing other physical stuff has the same type of result.


There are probably a number of other unresolved attributes that can add to whatever situation you are facing that you feel the anger rising.

During that moment,
Stop what you are doing.
Ask yourself if you are also Hungry?
Are you Tired?
Determine the problem. It's usually more than just one.
Come up with 3 possible solutions.
Figure out which one is best for now. You can revisit these solutions at a later date.
Follow through with that best option.


There are lots of other anger management techniques out there that are available. Though if it's caused by a mental imbalance that require meds, anger management alone might not be the long term solution.
Talking to a doctor will help.
Make haste for your son's sake.

[sabby19]

I am 25 yrs old. For 3 to 4 yrs I am get violent when I am angry. I actually try my best to contol my anger, I feel now I am better. But those feeling have scared me badly. I can always talk to my hubby about any matter but this matter , I am hesitant. Should I talk to him about it. He my best friend, I think he knows me quite well. Above all thanks a lot for repling to me your reply actually made me feel better. Take care. I have my sister to help me with my son. He's a lovely boy, I really don't have problem with him.I think I am the problem. Reply.

Love sab

[J_9]

Is it possible that you suffer from post-partum depression? Did this come up after the brith of your son?

You have every right to be afraid, and you are quite the big person to admit that you have a problem.

Yes, you need to talk to your husband. I also believe that you may benefit from some counseling to find out why you have these anger issues. You need to get some professional help before you get very angry to the point of not being able to control your anger and possibly hurt your son.