[natania]

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is so obbessed to have a baby me too I want a baby but I'm not sure do you think is a good idea? We both want a baby

[joypulv]

No. Wait. Can you afford to stay home while he provides for all 3 of you? Will you mind having to spend for 3? How will you feel when you can't go anywhere and have fun very often with friends who don't have babies yet? And don't forget... babies are cute and love you unconditionally, but not for long. There's the Terrible Twos and Terrible Teens and all that is in between isn't just buying little outfits and playing with your Wii together.
And... any man can just waltz out of your life without looking back, next girl who winks at him. Are you prepared for the possibility of single parenting? (I know, I know, he never would... haven't we all heard that before.)

[VRon1]

If you're not sure then you're not ready.
Simple. Easy. And understandable.
Just wait. The time will come when you're ready for a baby.

You have to be:
-financially prepared. Hospital bills baby bills. Home. Car. Utility. Food. School. Everything has to be taken into account.
-emotionally stable. I'm not saying you are not already but having a baby is very stressful. Being in a relationship with demands of a baby can be very hard.
Physically prepared. This means two things. 1. are you healthy and fit. Can your body raise a baby? 2. do you have a place for a baby room? All the toys he will accumulate? Because a socially and emotionally healthy baby needs toys and stimulus to help in his mental growth.

I hate to say this but have you talked to your mother? Mine isn't always the go to person but she's raised some good kids (as have I) so she knows what to expect.

The idea of having something so precious to raise and make your own. To help him grow into the next Einstein or Gandhi is an amazing thought. Their soft skin, their adorable laugh is all too tempting. But wait. When the time comes you'll know!

[Justwantfair]

As a previously teenaged mother, NO!!

I know you expect your boyfriend to be around forever, but if he was staying around forever, don't you think he would make you his wife. He can't be horribly mature and responsible to think that a baby comes before marriage. Even young marriages don't mean that they are ready for parenthood.

What about college? Are you living on your own paying all of your own bills? Even if you are can you afford at least twice that every month when you have an addition to the household? Are you ready to put your life on hold permanently, the next 18+ years and that will increase with every child in the future? Are you ready to miss out on all of the great experiences your friends are having because they are young and unattached? Are you ready to give up sleep? Are you ready to do this all alone, because there isn't a guarantee that the daddy to be will be there? Are you ready to give up the idea of vacations? Retirement, because the likelihood that you will save is greatly decreased? How about the idea of owning a home, when you will struggle for the next 18+ years supporting yourself and your child without a college education? How about spending your next 18+ years struggling with debt, just to get by?

Having a child is a wonderful experience, when you are ready. At 18, you have so much to experience, don't give all of that up, for the wishes of someone who can as easily as he made that baby, pick up and walk away from that.

[Jake2008]

Deciding on whether to have a baby, is not a matter of wishful thinking, or a matter of giving into pressure from a boyfriend, 'just because'.

Having a baby is not the same as deciding what colour your new car is going to be, or whether to put new carpet in the house. I presume you have both, plus a lot of money in the bank.

It is irresponsible to just have a baby, based on just wanting to have a baby.

Before you bring a new life into this world, think of that childs' welfare, and think about all the steps that are necessary before even thinking about having a baby. Why would you choose to do this.

Babies are not fashion statements. Babies are not toys. Babies are not conceived because the boyfriend wants one. Babies are not, should not, be subject to the immature thinking of a teenager who needs to ask the question in the first place.

It is okay to set boundaries, limits, and clear expectations with your boyfriend. I would recommend you lay down the law, and put some time into becoming a responsible, independent, self sufficient, employed woman with a good future- on your own- before adding either a boyfriend, OR a baby to the mix.

[ScottGem]

I'm wondering whether you are sexually active already or if this is your boyfriend's ploy to get you into bed.

If he is so obsessed, then why hasn't he proposed marriage? As others have pointed out bringing a child into this world involves a depth of commitment you have to be totally prepared for. That's why the family structure has been developed by societies.

[kingjulianparty]

I totally agree with what the other's said. I was just like you only 17 and I thought I knew better than everyone else in the world until bang reality hit like what everyone else has all ready told you. I wish I had someone to give me advice back then! Let me tell you I am 22 now and my life is nothing like I thought it would be. I love my family more than anything but I know now that I should have waited a few more years before deciding to start a family. (And YES it was actually planned)

[Fr_Chuck]

Does he have a job paying enough money to pay the bills, while you are out of work having the child, is there day care,

Have you baby sat for a friend perhaps several days straight,

Does he understand you don't just "go out" any more, a trip even to the local store involves packing large bag and all sorts of issues.

[Alty]

I agree with everyone else.

I realize that you'll read all of this and think that we're just a bunch of old fogies that don't understand what it feels like to be in love, etc.etc.

Well, we've all been 18. Better yet, we remember what it feels like. We're giving you the advice we know is best for you and your future.

You're young, there's plenty of time to start a family later, when you have a steady income, a home of your own, a husband.

I know that you see babies and you dream about having one. I was the same way. Thankfully I got lucky and I didn't become a teen mom. I was 27 when I had my first child, married for 3 years, my own home, 2 cars, good jobs, and let me tell you, it was still really hard.

Sit down with your boyfriend and do some research. Research how much it will cost for housing every month, bills (electricity, water, insurance, car payments, food, etc. etc.), how much will baby supplies cost (crib, stroller, car seat, clothes, bottles, etc. etc.), how much baby supplies that you need monthly will cost (diapers, clothes, formula, medical bills, etc. etc.) Research how much having a baby will cost (medical bills, hospital bills, etc.). When you have that figure, double it, because even with double the amount, you'll still be barely scraping by.

Babies are a lifetime commitment, to be made when you're further along in your own life.

Wait. You have plenty of time to have children.