[Sarah Jane]

Long story short...

Met a guy online 8-2005, we became close friends and were interested in being together (very interested). He's from Canada, Im in the US. He came to visit for almost 2 months initially, at this time he gave me his spare computer and his stereo (as I did not have a computer - he also brought a microwave for me but I ended up getting my own so he wouldn't have to give me his).

Considering the immigration laws and our ignorance of policy I suggested he take his things with him, but he refused claiming he didn't want them, and he wanted me to have them (of course he wanted me to have the computer so that we could communicate etc, since my computer was broken beyond repair)

He left for about a month, came back in October and stayed until Mid December... again refused to take his things, claiming he wanted me to have them and he didn't need them. During this visit we had a few "complications arise" and our relationship was becoming rocky.

Now, I recently discovered that he had put a keylogger on my computer... this is after finding out that he was snooping through my emails, etc. Also at one point he sent me a trojan so that he could snoop through files on my computer (he claims it was to find pictures of me)

Well, after finding this out, plus the fact that he hasn't had a job in almost 2 years and hasn't bothered TRYING to get a job, I've decided that this man is far too much of a child for me to be involved with. He's 9 years younger than me, and he definitely acts like it. Im not sure what his intent was or if he was just using me as an excuse to get citizenship in the US so that he could live off me and let me support him or what, but its far too much drama for me at this point.

So I've told him I no longer want to be involved with him, that he has a lot of growing up to do, and that I have a responsibility to myself to end this relationship and get on with my life and my career, etc.

Now he wants his things back, but he wants to drive 1100 miles to come get them. I said I'd ship them, and he's not happy with that.. he wants to "save me money". I don't want to see him, and I really don't want to give him these things back... I've invested money into this computer because it had seemed very clear to me that he had given these items to me to keep (new hard drive, new video card).

I utilize this computer on a daily basis, use it to pay bills, do my banking, communicate with friends and family, work, and yes as a form of entertainment as well. It would be a real hindrance to have to go through and save all my information, change all my account information with everywhere that I do business with (as I do it ALL online), etc.

The stereo I don't care about, it's a nice item but it'd cost a LOT to send it back, and Im not in a financial situation at the moment where I can afford it... yet I do not think it's a wise idea for him to drive this far to get his things.

His intentions were to marry me, move to the US and be with his things again... so I don't know if he left them as an insurance policy for himself thinking that it would somehow make me obligated to stick things out with him, or what... he claims it was to "be nice"... but now he's making things kind of complicated for me.

Am I obligated legally to return his items, or to let him come get them?

[shenda]

Long story short...

Met a guy online 8-2005, we became close friends and were interested in being together (very interested). He's from Canada, Im in the US. He came to visit for almost 2 months initially, at this time he gave me his spare computer and his stereo (as I did not have a computer - he also brought a microwave for me but I ended up getting my own so he wouldnt have to give me his).

Considering the immigration laws and our ignorance of policy I suggested he take his things with him, but he refused claiming he didnt want them, and he wanted me to have them (of course he wanted me to have the computer so that we could communicate etc, since my computer was broken beyond repair)

He left for about a month, came back in October and stayed til Mid December... again refused to take his things, claiming he wanted me to have them and he didnt need them. During this visit we had a few "complications arise" and our relationship was becoming rocky.

Now, I recently discovered that he had put a keylogger on my computer... this is after finding out that he was snooping through my emails, etc. Also at one point he sent me a trojan so that he could snoop through files on my computer (he claims it was to find pictures of me)

Well, after finding this out, plus the fact that he hasnt had a job in almost 2 years and hasnt bothered TRYING to get a job, I've decided that this man is far too much of a child for me to be involved with. He's 9 years younger than me, and he definately acts like it. Im not sure what his intent was or if he was just using me as an excuse to get citizenship in the US so that he could live off of me and let me support him or what, but its far too much drama for me at this point.

So I've told him I no longer want to be involved with him, that he has a lot of growing up to do, and that I have a responsibility to myself to end this relationship and get on with my life and my career, etc.

Now he wants his things back, but he wants to drive 1100 miles to come get them. I said I'd ship them, and he's not happy with that.. he wants to "save me money". I dont want to see him, and I really dont want to give him these things back... I've invested money into this computer because it had seemed very clear to me that he had given these items to me to keep (new hard drive, new video card).

I utilize this computer on a daily basis, use it to pay bills, do my banking, communicate with friends and family, work, and yes as a form of entertainment as well. It would be a real hinderance to have to go through and save all my information, change all my account information with everywhere that I do business with (as I do it ALL online), etc.

The stereo I dont care about, its a nice item but it'd cost a LOT to send it back, and Im not in a financial situation at the moment where I can afford it... yet I do not think its a wise idea for him to drive this far to get his things.

His intentions were to marry me, move to the US and be with his things again... so I dont know if he left them as an insurance policy for himself thinking that it would somehow make me obligated to stick things out with him, or what... he claims it was to "be nice"... but now he's making things kinda complicated for me.

Am I obligated legally to return his items, or to let him come get them?

Legal obligation revolves around Intent... His motive for allowing the items to stay in your home and take them with him; and your motive for not insisting that he remove the items; You stated that you aked him to take the items each time he departed, yet he decided to leave them behind, being nice.. so now the indiangiver arises and you must now do one of several things... outline a timetable for him to collect his belongings or he will forfeit the property... offer to buy the items at fairmarket price... have him sign a release stating that the above mentioned property has been given to you as a gift... however to avoid the headaches and heartaches simphy allow him to come and collect his things

[talaniman]

If it gets him out of your life, return his stuff or he can always use them as an excuse to see you.